I do appreciate the sanity checks.
I should also rephrase "make me laugh" - that almost seems like I'm mocking, I meant it more like "your standards are so high that I find it funny to think of the contrast been your standards and what I commonly go after"
In any event, yeah, I'm out. Not in the running. My Z4 was $2,500 + $1k in immediate easy repairs (replace door, airbag activation) but it was well maintained and worth at least $6k at the time once repaired. It's hard to remember that I won't be finding that kind of deal again, and that if I want anything nearly as decent as mine, I'm going to have to start the search at $6k pre-COVID prices.