1998 Buick Park Avenue, sitting since 2011

Looks like I might be tasked with this.

My great aunt's 98 Park Avenue has been sitting since my mom took the keys while she was in the hospital in September 2011.

My plan of attack is to fill it with some new gas (as in, 2 gallons, cause that is the tank size I have), put in a new battery, and drive it to the nearest oil change shop to get some new oil in there. Any other things I need to do?

The car has no sentimental value, and is at best worth $1,500 if it is running. So the most I am willing to spend on it is $200 more than new tires, battery, and oil change.

I agree. First get it to start. Then, get it to operating temp so the old oil will flow out when you change it.
I would take it to a full service facility not just a quick lube. The full service muffler/tire/brakes places all run a $19.99 oil change special. For them, the oil change is a "loss" but what they really want it to get your car in and show you that you need muffler/tires/brakes, etc.
So, as such, as part of the oil change service they will get your Buick up on a lift to look under. They will pull the tires to see the brakes, etc.

When they point out that the car needs xyz (and they will point it out) ask them to take you into the shop and show you. Now, you too are getting a full vehicle inspection like brakes, etc. Have them show you them all.
Politely decline having the additional work done that day but allow them to write you an estimate.

For $19.99 you got your oil changed and someone highly incentified to find additional problems just gave you his overall opinion of what the car needs. Use your own best judgement on which of those needs should actually be addressed.

Being a 3800 engine, be aware of the weak link to this otherwise good engine.
The plastic coolant hose at the serp belt tensioner.

There is now a metal replacement. ONLY use the metal replacement.

Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QldgVWRJQJY&feature=kp

3800's are tough. Fresh oil, check brakes and tires. Drive.

I'd change the oil where it sits BEFORE starting it. Let whatever (if any) water is in there get out before you fire it up. Drive 500 miles and change agian when piping hot.

Gearheadotaku wrote: 3800's are tough. Fresh oil, check brakes and tires. Drive. I'd change the oil where it sits BEFORE starting it. Let whatever (if any) water is in there get out before you fire it up. Drive 500 miles and change agian when piping hot.

^This, check the coolant level in the radiator in case it has one of them faulty coolant tubes. Other than that, not much else that will need to be done. Check fluids, make sure the serpentine belt hasn't dry-rotted in half. If it was in good shape when it was parked, it should fire right up.

Due to where it is sitting, that will not happen. In fact, the only way that the oil gets changed before I start it is if the tires don't hold any air--then it gets towed anyways.

Oil change, trans fluid change, coolant drain fill, metal elbows, metal frame LIM gaskets, improved dorman UIM if it hasn't been done already(look for air gap between EGR chimney and its hole in UIM), then its bulletproof again. About the only thing that kills a 3800 is neglecting to correct the cooling systems known issues.

Also do the brake fluid. After Kenny_'s suggestions, you're done.

Hey mtn, I might have a buyer. My wife's co-worker needs a cheap & reliable 4-door ASAP. Please keep me posted on the status.