If she just cares about the looks, just get a regular WRX. For the '11 models both the sedan and hatch look 95% like the STi from the outside. Plus they're pretty much just as fast in a straight line, and 90% as fast on the track/autocross (more or less)...DCCD and the other extra STi features are great, but not of much use in a DD, only if it's a track toy. WRX you can find for $25-27k new.
Drive an '11 STi and then drive an '11 WRX. See if the performance difference is worth the $7-10k price difference.
btw, I have a 260whp/280wtq stage 1 '09 WRX. So it's roughly even to the STi in power. I now have 45k miles on it as a daily driver (25-mile commute each way in highway and heavy traffic and suburban) and 20+ autocrosses. I find the seats comfortable (if not very adjustable), the features very nice, the car always fun to drive. Only downsides are cheap-feeling door panels and dash, a few rattles (all of which are easy to fix), and so-so fuel economy (I get 22-24mpg in daily driving and 27-28 on long highway trips - same stage 1 or stock).
If you live where it's cold, get the winter package - heated seats, mirros, and wiper de-icers all work great.
Like I said though, if it's just for a DD, think about going with the WRX. Virtually as quick and alot cheaper. And starting in the '11 models the WRX has the STi widebody look, etc. If you're going to do trackdays and autocross, the STi may be worth the extra cash.
What you lose: 5speed vs. 6 speed, DCCD (adjustable center diff) and limited slip diffs (which I only miss at the autocross course, honestly), and the Brembo brakes (the WRX brakes are pretty good though and give you more wheel choices due to clearance, especially for winter wheels). THe 6-speed and hubs on the STi are stronger, but really only an issue if you're going to track it.
Let me know if you have any other questions. The '11 models are the same mechanically as the '09-10 models (the "smooth-body") aside from a couple suspension tweaks.
All in all, my '09 wrx is a great car (IMO) and I look forward to commuting in it every day, even if it is a little "raw" compared to my loaded Maxima that I had previously. And even in stock form, it can run a 13.2 second 1/4 mile (same as the STi), so it can put you in your seat even coming out of an MSM.
LIke I said though, drive the wrx and sti back to back. Your wife won't know the difference, you may or may not, and your wallet will.