If you can get past the minivan stigma, 5's are really good vehicles. My wife and I just returned from a long road trip to western Pennsylvania and had it stuffed with my bike w/front wheel removed and strapped down, luggage for two and groceries with only the third row seat down all while returning 30 mpg. I've carted six people no problem and various configurations of different cargo combinations. I've sat in the back seat comfortably, opened the windows and listened to the radio with plenty of room to stretch. There are ample suspension options for the 5 as well since it shares the platform with the Mazda 3.
This might sound like a left field option but have you considered looking around in your area to co-drive with someone at an autocross? That way you could get seat time in something that is autocross friendly and might make it easier to not rack your brains out trying to find that do it all unicorn vehicle.
