We have all heard the stories, where someone explains the car that they drive as "a blue one". Today, at work at my autoparts store, someone asked me for spark plugs and "the hosing up to spark plugs". Im used to morons and was immediatly able to figure out he meants that he wanted spark plug wires. But if your asking for spark plug hoses, should you really be allowed to work on your own car? I wanna know, whats the biggest dumbass response youve heard from an automotive amateur?
College auto body class, my friend was driving the M715 his dad just bought, and a guy driving a dark green and bondo colored (with powder blue body kit) honda civic said something like "Thats an awesome truck, if I had a truck like that id lower it higher".
When I worked at a speed shop, at least once a month I got some mouth breather wanting a "3/4 race cam". Without fail, they had no idea what that meant, it just sounded cool when they read it in Hot Rod or whatever non-GRM magazine they picked up at the Piggly Wiggly. After I drilled them on carb, intake, headers, engine size, etc without fail what they really needed was a mild street cam. I was always torn about giving them what they asked for vs giving them what they needed and not telling them the difference.
Once when I was in Autozone, I was behind a lady at the counter who asked the clerk for a 710.
"A what?"
"A 710. You know, the thing you unscrew to put the oil in."
"Oh right, got it. One 710, coming right up."
Wires are hoses for electricity...
Raze wrote: Wires are hoses for electricity...
funny thing is.. what is how we refer to data lines at work.
'The internet .... a series of tubes connected together ...'
A guy called the radio a while back about a woman looking for something for her husbands Ford Fiso pickup. It's probably like the 710 story but the way the guy told it was really funny
Someone on here posted about someone looking for "Ford Fiso" parts before, seems to be a common mistake.
One time I got into an argument with a guy online who thought brake boosters didn't work when the engine was off because then the brake fluid wouldn't be circulating...
GameboyRMH wrote: Someone on here posted about someone looking for "Ford Fiso" parts before, seems to be a common mistake. One time I got into an argument with a guy online who thought brake boosters didn't work when the engine was off because then the brake fluid wouldn't be circulating...
maybe he was thinking about a hydraboost system and got his fluids mixed up?
I am not proud to admit I sent my college roommate to the auto parts store to get a new 710 cap while I was fixing her car.
She came back PISSED.
ddavidv wrote: When I worked at a speed shop, at least once a month I got some mouth breather wanting a "3/4 race cam". Without fail, they had no idea what that meant, it just sounded cool when they read it in Hot Rod or whatever non-GRM magazine they picked up at the Piggly Wiggly. After I drilled them on carb, intake, headers, engine size, etc without fail what they really needed was a mild street cam. I was always torn about giving them what they asked for vs giving them what they needed and not telling them the difference.
My dad owned a speed shop and we'd get this request all the time. We kept an old small block Chevy cam with 4 lobes cut off (12 = 3/4 of 16) under the counter and we'd whip that bad boy up on the counter.
The surprising thing was the number of people who'd reach for their wallets...
I have heard 'catalinas diverter' (catalytic converter) 'cadillac converter', 'university joint', 'scrbider' (distributor), 'coparater', etc.
I used to screw with the local guys by asking for a 730 cap, and after they laughed and said it didn't exist, offering them a German 944 cap ("OEL")
When I first started at NAPA many moons ago, one of the crusty regulars came in asked me for a radiator for a VW. I asked him Jetta, Passat, Tourag, etc? He got huffy and said "Bug you idiot!" so then I asked TDi, turbo, or regular? Manual or auto? He started to go into bugs were air cooled until I reminded of the New Beetle.
I remember in the SECOND year of my auto tech college program, in an engines theory class; teacher asks what the displacement number of an engine means. Doofus puts up his hand "That's how much oil you put it right?"
This doesn't involve someone asking for parts, and I've posted it before, but I think it belongs here all the same...
A few years ago a friend of mine asked me to look over a Probe he intended to buy with some sort of clutch failure. The car was in OK shape and ran awful but it was apparent there was absolutely nothing wrong with the clutch after a quick trip around the apartment complex where the car was located. When I got back the owner even remarked "I told you the clutch was bad". He had replaced the clutch and every single clutch component down the the pedal cluster trying to solve this issue. I popped the hood and after about 10 seconds I told my friend he was buying this car. After we towed it back to my place a set of plug wires had it running great. The plug wires were so far gone even a cursory visual inspection showed them to be bad. How that guy thought it was a clutch problem I'll never know.
Ojala wrote: I am not proud to admit I sent my college roommate to the auto parts store to get a new 710 cap while I was fixing her car. She came back PISSED.
blonde eh?
skruffy wrote: This doesn't involve someone asking for parts, and I've posted it before, but I think it belongs here all the same... A few years ago a friend of mine asked me to look over a Probe he intended to buy with some sort of clutch failure. The car was in OK shape and ran awful but it was apparent there was absolutely nothing wrong with the clutch after a quick trip around the apartment complex where the car was located. When I got back the owner even remarked "I told you the clutch was bad". He had replaced the clutch and every single clutch component down the the pedal cluster trying to solve this issue. I popped the hood and after about 10 seconds I told my friend he was buying this car. After we towed it back to my place a set of plug wires had it running great. The plug wires were so far gone even a cursory visual inspection showed them to be bad. How that guy thought it was a clutch problem I'll never know.
People are weird. A friend of mine was convinced that the (manual) transmission was going out on his Saturn, because it would shudder pulling away from a stop. I checked it out and it was that all four of his spark plugs were fouled up from burning oil. I have a picture of them around here somewhere - one of them had even shorted out there was so much crud built up on the terminal it caused it to get hot and bend and close the gap. Amazing.
I cleaned the plugs, re-gapped them, and the car ran great! Even more amazing.
we were all amateurs at some time, right? 
as a yoof I was car crazy, just not car smart
In reply to fasted58:
Yup, and she was 6'+, a solid 200+ lbs, and lifted.
fasted58 wrote: we were all amateurs at some time, right?
Yep, been there and been stupid before.
Old lady walks into a tire shop "I've got a biscuit on my car." replied the confused salesman "A biscuit?" "A biscuit." "Well knock it off of there!" "No, you see got a flat tire and put the biscuit on." "Oh! You mean the donut!" "Oh, I knew it was some kind of pastry..."
As long as they are not being jackasses about it, I give full credit to anyone who is in the game and swinging. This includes clueless people at the counter or even people who call me and try to sell me something at dinner time. They are TRYING many times against odds we don't appreciate.
The guy that needed the "pipes" to connect to the plugs might not have had the 100 bucks it took to pay a mechaninc, but he needs his car to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully you were able to help them out?
NOHOME wrote: As long as they are not being jackasses about it, I give full credit to anyone who is in the game and swinging.
me too
I'd be more inclined to help this kind of person too.
Was hanging in the garage enjoying some adult beverages while visiting a friend a few years ago when one of his neighbors who apparently stops in on a regular basis to either borrow tools or ask questions comes up carrying a couple of items in wrapped a shop towel. He tells my buddy that the new spark plugs he got for his Camaro are nothing at all like the ones he took out. He then opens up the rag to reveal one of the brand new plugs and one of the "old ones"...which was actually a fuel injector!
Jeff
Raze wrote: Wires are hoses for electricity...
Are you sure they aren't hoses for smoke, cause when the smoke leaks out you have a problem. (Now someone post a link to the jar of genuine Lucas smoke that was on ebay)
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