BMW E34 touring - third brake light woes!

So I bought an E34 525i 5-speed touring (woot!) and I've got most of the problems sorted, except for one thing - the stupid third brake light! The check computer bitches about it every time I drive the car.

Brilliantly, the factory BMW setup uses 20 incandescent bulbs soldered to a printed circuit board.

Not only is this notoriously unreliable for the people who HAVE all the components, but mine is missing the whole assembly altogether - the wiring is taped up under the hatch spoiler. OEM parts are impossible to come by, and a PITA to remove (hatch spoiler is bonded to rear glass). So I have two options:

1. Replace the assembly with something aftermarket, matching the 12v input and (unknown) resistance of the factory setup, clearing the code and retaining the third brake light.
2. Wire some kind of dummy sender that shuts the code up and block off the opening for the third light.

I am not a wiring expert. Any suggestions?

Ouch, just the board alone is $200. Probably a resistor would shut the OBC up.

Heres a back glass with spoiler for $250+ ship

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/BMW-E34-525it-Touring-Wagon-Hatch-Glass-w-brake-light-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem483c018d86QQitemZ310244380038QQptZMotorsQ5fCarQ5fTruckQ5fPartsQ5fAccessories

You got a BMW wagon 5 speed? You're an shiny happy person. You want to know why you're an shiny happy person? Because I don't have one. shiny happy person.

Go to the junkyard.

Look on the roof of Astro/Safari, S-Blazer/Jimmy/Bravada.

Some years of these models have a roof-mount, all-LED third brake light. Get one. Remove the end caps and slide out the circuit board full of LEDs.

Put it in your existing housing. Wire it up.

????

Profit.

In reply to EvanR:

That looks very similar to the third brake light in my 1995 Golf.