DOH! Edit: Congrats to Shumacher Taxi Service as well!!!
LEMONS GREATS IMMORTALIZED ON THE WALL OF BLAME
LeMons stuff never lasts: Cars explode or are hauled off by angry wives. Teams break up due to Sawz-All fights and/or prison terms. Brilliant themes become tired after the fifth time around for a Mr. T costume.
But starting today, a rarified handful of LeMons over-underachievers will be immortalized forever through the LeMons Wall of Blame. Each inductee will be honored with a plaque made of Chinese lead, to be hung at LeMons HQ next to such other priceless artifacts as the original Noch Einer Scheiß-E30 stencil and Judge Jonny's first powdered wig--an object equally redolent of history, stale tobacco smoke, and scalp smegma.
Our first six W.O.B. inductees, in no particular order, are presented below. Round Two will be determined by public voting next weekend--see the details at the bottom of this email to participate.
EYESORE RACING: Honored for multiple Organizer's Choice awards, an overall win, fabulous outfits, and Totally Getting It.
ONSET: The IOE, Organizer's Choice, and Season Title winners who drove a caged glass-less Cavalier wagon LeMons car from California to Michigan for the Flat Rock race.
RUBBER BISCUIT RACING: Caprice-wielding warriors with a People's Curse, several trophies, the 2009 Coppa di Bondo title, and fabulous illicit applejack.
SCHUMACHER TAXI SERVICE: These idiots have appeared at every event east of the Mississippi, and featured the worst LeMons car ever seen--a primered Citation X11.
SIZE MATTERS: While an IoE winner, consistent strong finisher, and constant West Coast competitor, Size Matters is HOB worthy for making a '60s Mopar not suck at all on the racetrack.
THE TUNACHUCKERS: An unbeatable HOB combination: terrible Volvo 122, Index of Effluency winner, and propensity to burst into flames.
Already thinking of deserving teams we left out? Good: This week, you can email me with your nominations. On Saturday, January 16, Jalopnik will host a vote amongst the Top 20 nominees, and ten will emerge as the next HOB members. Once again: From now until Friday, send me your team submissions; on Saturday, visit Jalopnik to see democracy in action.
