Ever have an "I'm an idiot" automotive moment? Tales of wrenching stupidity inside...

Back in January 2023, I was on the hunt for a winter beater. My wife's former boss happened to have just bought a brand new car, leaving her with a 2008 Nissan Xterra that she now had no use for: 



When my wife mentioned to her boss that I was wanting a winter beater, she offered to sell me/us her Xterra for a song. She just wanted to get rid of it, so she pretty much gave it away- I almost felt bad about buying it so cheap. 

My wife's former boss bought this thing brand new and it had been her daily driver for the past ~15 years, so it was a 1 owner vehicle. It was garage kept, clean Carfax, etc. She just wanted a nicer new car. It had 147k miles on it. 

When asked about maintenance, it seemed like she just had regular oil changes and brakes done- or whatever the lube shop she took it to suggested. No mechanical issues, seemingly ever. The only issue it has is the tachometer is intermittently faulty/reads low. Being an automatic, I didn't really care (still don't). It drove great and everything else worked as designed. 

Being that the former owner didn't know much about what maintenance was done over the years (again, she just brought it to a shop regularly and trusted them), I figured I would tackle all the preventative maintenance items, just in case. 

Now, to anyone that isn't aware, these vehicles have a reputation for problems with SMOD (strawberry milkshake of death). Which is partially why I think they depreciate so hard. Essentially, in the automatic versions, the bottom portion of the radiator is a transmission cooler. In the earlier years (2005-2010), there was a manufacturing defect in which the radiator would develop an internal leak, leading to coolant and transmission fluid mixing, creating a lovely strawberry colored fluid that would run into the transmission. Expensive hilarity would ensue. 

The first thing I did when I bought it was look for signs of SMOD- to which none existed, thankfully. I figured that radiators were cheap, so I picked myself a quality Denso unit to replace the stocker, in order to SMOD-proof my new-to-me winter rig: 



^^^^Dear Nissan: berkeley you for deciding to install a belt-driven fan, rather than an electic fan like every other modern engine on earth. When I got done, my hands looked like they had gotten into a fight with a pack of feral cats in an enclosed space, just because of the 4 nuts for the belt/crank-driven fan. To anyone doing this job in the future, do yourself a favor and buy the longest ratcheting wrench you can find to avoid fighting this accursed fan. 

I also did all the other maintenance items: spark plugs (Nissan recommends changing them every 105k miles), flushed the transmission fluid, front/rear diff fluids, filters, etc. 

In order to get to the spark plugs, Nissan requires you to remove the upper intake plenum, which, it's not a tough job, just time consuming: 



So, I buttoned everything up, drove it around and all seemed well. 

Fast forward to the summer [2023]. To be clear, I rarely ever drive the Xterra. I usually only drive it when it's snowing, or when I need to go pickup a large item that won't fit in my other vehicles. I'm sitting in a parking lot with the A/C on and I notice there's a fairly rough vibration at idle (nothing crazy, my wife didn't notice anything out of the ordinary). All of the sudden it throws a CEL. I clear the CEL and continue driving- outside of a rough idle under very limited circumstances, the Xterra otherwise drove great. 

The CEL(s) came back 1 more time, a few months later, again, while idling for a long period of time... I Googled the codes (I think there were 3?) and it led me down a few rabbit holes- one of which was for an exhaust manifold leak; which, didn't seem to exist on the Xterra. Then I thought maybe there was a leak from the plemum- thinking maybe the new gasket didn't seal properly? I looked over the manifold closely, searching for a leak- couldn't find one... then I found a post about someone saying they did a fueling reset procedure and the problem never came back... so, I did the fuel reset, which involved letting the Xterra idle for about 10 minutes. The CEL never came back. I noted the idle was just a smidge grumbly, but never had another issue. Although it stayed in the back of my mind. 

Fast forward to here recently. I went to drive the Xterra and noticed just a bit of a squeak from the serpentine belt. I figured I probably should have changed it previously to avoid being stranded on the side of the road. So, I ordered a new belt, along with new tensioner and idler pulleys: 



^^^Since the belt is behind that wretched fan, this time I learned my lesson and bought the longest ratcheting wrench I could find. The result? I managed to get the belt and both pulleys swapped out in under ~20 minutes without removing the hellish fan- easy peasy! 

In order to get to the belt, you have to remove the airbox intake tube... I can't believe I'm such an idiot. When I was removing the airbox tube, I noticed this giant vacuum hose that I completely forgot to reconnect almost a year ago, when I was doing all of the rest of the maintenance on the car: 



^^^Yes, I'm aware the oil filler cap is off in that photo, I was doing an oil change at the same time. I've barely driven it over the past year, but the last time I did an oil change was in fact a year ago, so I figured it needed one based on time alone. 

That hose took me ~3 seconds to reconnect. The result? The Xterra now idles as smooth as a brand new truck lol. I can't believe I've been driving around like this for a year... and I also can't believe I've looked under the hood 2-3 times since then, trying to find a leak and completely missed this giant, disconnected hose. I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I saw it. 


I figured I would share my tale of automotive stupidity. Feel free to share your car-related blunders! 

Once I couldn't start my NB miata for a few months and was having a hell of a time diagnosing why.

Turns out it had a immobilizer chip in the factory key and I was using an extra I had cut (I hate big chunky keys).

Similarly, it took me a while to figure out why my '74 Valiant would not start seemingly at random, but then I would come back later and it would work fine.  Turns out it had a seat-belt interlock.

I left a Land Rover dealer for a GM dealer....I had a I'm a idiot year lol

You broke the first rule of winter beaters, defer all pre-emptive repairs indefinitely. If catastrophic, purchase new beater. Repeat. 

roninsoldier83 said:

 The only issue it has is the tachometer is intermittently faulty/reads low. Being an automatic, I didn't really care (still don't). It drove great and everything else worked as designed. 

I think you'll find that's the distributor.  Happened on the ex's QX4 and an Xterra I flipped.

I fumbled the oil cap on our 2003 Chevrolet Trailblazer and it fell into the radiator fan and sat underneath one of the opposing fan blades unseen from above or below. 

Two hours of frame, engine and suspension searching I was ready to cry - wife stops out to see what I'm doing only to feel around to find the cap.  Now the oil change starts......

Another time installing springs on a brake drum job using the wrong tool and it slips and I cold cock myself in the face.

That time spray paint got into my eye....

I once knocked myself out for an undetermined amount of time.

I was working by myself in the garage and I was cranking on control arm bolts with a long combination wrench.  It slipped.  My face was in the path.  Punched myself right in the face with my fist still holding the wrench.  Smacked my head against the wall behind me.

Woke up with a bloody wrench in my hand sometime later.

I stopped wrenching for the day.

See my post on the crimes I committed on the Datsuns wiring harness.

In reply to Datsun240ZGuy and wvumtnbkr :

punched myself in the face when drum brake spring pliers slipped off the anchor pin, slamming back of head into fender.  did not knock myself out or bleed, but i definitely feel your pain just the same.

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

Mine was back in 1990-1993?  

30+ years later I still shudder when I think of it that I didn't jam that screwdriver into my eye. 

Some time ago, I was helping a buddy do the GM HOT cam & spring swap on his LT1 Caramo. Not wanting to roll the dice on the oil pan/timing cover seal, we dropped the pan for a new gasket. Cleaning the pan rail from underneath with Berrymans carb cleaner (the REAL E36 M3), I got my face positioned to catch a large stream of runoff right in the eyeball. Moment of real panic. We were working in an empty cinder block storage space he had rented, no running water anywhere nearby. We had non-water beverages to drink. Eye still full of carb cleaner for several minutes until the tears started to flush it out. Pain, burn, etc. Finally found a hose 15 minutes later. One-time lesson in always wearing safety glasses. I wonder if that one will come back to haunt my vision sometime down the line.

I nearly removed the tip of my finger by having it get trapped between the fan belt and the generator pulley on a VW:

If you're familiar with VW air cooled engines, you'll remember the distributor is near the fan belt. So, if you're setting the ignition timing by loosening the distributor clamp and twisting the distributor slowly while the engine is idling, your hand is pretty dang close to the moving fan belt. Close enough, in fact, that it's startlingly easy for a finger to brush against the belt, get grabbed by said moving belt, and transported instantly on a short trip around the circumference of the generator pulley, BETWEEN the belt and the pulley, faster than you can say "WHAT THE E36!"

Didn't even hurt. Not right away - but it sure did later. Swelled up, turned all kinds of interesting colors, etc. Eventually turned out ok.

Then there was the time I caught a different finger between the end of a leaf spring and the shackle on my GMC...lost the finger nail that time.

It grew back. Mostly.      

In reply to earlybroncoguy1 :

Daily you should step outside your comfort box. Yeah, that distributor is kinda close.

I wrenched on Chrysler's at the dealership level... nuff said.

In reply to Datsun240ZGuy :

That was amazing.   At least to me.

Oooh, I had to do catalytic converters on an '08-ish Escalade (both banks come in a big Y-pipe assembly) and all four 02 sensors. Now, on those, the pre-cat sensors have the male plug on the sensor and the female plug on the engine harness, while the post-cat sensor have the female plug on the sensor and the male plug on the engine harness. Oh, and the connectors are attached to the top of the frame and can't be seen. Has to be done by feel.

I get the converters out, put the new sensors in the new converter, put the whole thing in, and I'm grasping around on top of the frame trying to find the connectors. I find them, plug them in, set the vehicle down, clear the codes, start it up and I have a CEL. Scan the codes and I have 12 DTCs, 3 for each 02 Sensor. WTF? I can't have gotten 4 bad 02 sensors out of the box. One I would believe but all 4?! 

Pick the vehicle back up and tug on the wire to the one pre-cat sensor and I can see the wires on the post-cat sensor moving. Yep, I managed to somehow plug the 02 sensors together, not just on one bank, but both banks. A definite "Wow, I'm a moron" moment

I was picking the 2002's freshly rebuilt engine off the engine stand, where it was held by a custom plate that bolted onto the motor mounts on the side of the block (not the usual bellhousing bolts). It was significantly supported from the hoist by a chain on the usual pickup points, you know, the kind that dangle the engine at about the installed slant angle, not vertical like the stand was holding it.

I had just, fortunately, moved my hand off the edge of the mounting plate when I got the last bolt out of the block and the engine slammed onto the stand as it fell back to the natural slant angle. It's been decades and I still wiggle my fingers and take a couple of quick breaths every time I think of it.

And then last week I posted a very silly question here because I failed Power Brakes 101 in my head.

I've got decades-old mistakes, and I'm still making new ones. Better than just repeating them, right?

Well, there was the tightening the plastic oil filter housing on a Toyota Tacoma with what I later learned was a broken torque wrench debacle I documented on here. I persisted way beyond common sense and probably cranked that sucker to 70+ ft lbs waiting for a click that never happened. 

Worst was the time I swapped an '81 Accord engine into an '82 Accord.  The '81 had a V belt crankshaft pulley and the '82 had a serpentine pulley, so I had to swap the pulleys over. Lightly tightened the crank bolt and planned to later torque it properly when I had a helper around to stand on the brakes while the car was in gear. Of course I forgot and the pulley came flying off on the highway somewhere in Ohio. Wound up having to search all over the interstate for the various pieces that flew off. I had a cop who pulled up and was wondering what I was doing almost draw on me as I was looking for the parts on the roadside. "WHY ARE YOUR HANDS INSIDE YOUR POCKETS!" "It's winter and they're cold?"  The crank pulley got some pretty nasty road rash, but was usable. We found a dealership that had the crank pulley bolt in stock and reassembled it roadside.

I almost lost a rear wheel on the freeway because I made the classic mistake of "I'll just torque the lugs tomorrow" after installing new rear shocks. Luckily I caught onto the bad vibrations from both loose wheels and made it to an off-ramp and slowed to like 30-40 before the driver's side wheel flew off. It made it across both sides of the freeway and thankfully missed every car on its way over. Never found the brake drum that also flew off when the axle hit the ground. Adding insult to injury, a "super cool" cop stuck one of those horrible tow warning stickers on my driver's side window in the 15 mins I was away from my car to retrieve the wheel. I bought a new brake drum and slapped it all back together after a flatbed tow truck took me home. The brake backing plate was kinda messed up from dragging on the ground but that was it.

That jagged backing drum gave me a nice scar when I installed an e-locker a few years later. It's a good reminder for me to always torque my lugs before I walk away. 

The generator pulley on a '41 Lincoln V12 is held on by a nut AND threads in the pulley bore...

Also, that pulley is easily broken with a three-jaw puller.

Our apprentice was replacing some ball joints on the shop truck and having a hard time with the pickle fork.

We may have been telling him to "hit it with his purse" instead.

Tired of not making any progress, he puts the pickle fork in the joint and gives it a couple taps to hold it there.

Takes a step back with the hammer held in both hands.

Swings for the fences and hits the end of the pickle fork as hard as he can.

Pickle fork pops out of the joint and hits him in the forehead.

Once we got done laughing, we made sure he was alright.

He's a hockey player so a hit to the head really isn't too serious.

In reply to NickD :

I installed a hidden nitrous system on a GTO.  The guy ran the bottle down on the street before getting it dyno tuned.  Nitrous wasn't working on the dyno.

The moron who wired it gave ground to both sides of the solenoid relays.

Also, the owner ran the bottle out just from playing with the purge.  And he thought the nitrous was working because of how much faster the car felt 

Two of them come to mind.

First one, I was about 20 and reinstalling the engine in my '59 Austin Healey Sprite.  It had just come back from the painter with a nice deep black paint job my grandfather had bought for me.  To install the engine, I removed the hood (the whole front end is one piece on an early Sprite) and stood it up in the yard while installing the motor.  I was tightening up the engine to transmission bolts and felt a breeze.  Then I heard a deep "clang" noise.  The hood had fallen over on it's top.  Cracked the paint along the back edge where the shop had put a bunch of bondo.  Brand new paint job ruined.

Second was more recent.  Son came home from college in his '98 S10 beater and said the front end was shaking the whole trip home.  Hopped on the 'Zon and ordered a front end rebuild kit for it.  I assumed that was it because the truck had a bunch of miles on it and was just worn out.  Spent the weekend rebuilding the front end.  Putting the passenger side wheel back on, I spun it to make sure the brakes weren't bound and noticed the tire wasn't oblong.....  Did a whole front end (which, tbh, it probably needed) for a bad tire.

-Rob

Rebuilt my first engine at 15.  A Chevy 235.  Installing the pistons, I folded one of the oil rings over.  I pulled it back out and cut off the bent part and reinstalled it.

Later, sold the truck to my brother.  He set about hot rodding it and had the head shaved.  There was a groove worn in the cylinder wall where the ring had ridden.

Stampie said:

roninsoldier83 said:

 The only issue it has is the tachometer is intermittently faulty/reads low. Being an automatic, I didn't really care (still don't). It drove great and everything else worked as designed. 

I think you'll find that's the distributor.  Happened on the ex's QX4 and an Xterra I flipped.

I'm not so sure about that, brother. What year were those vehicles? 
 

I have my doubts only because my 2nd gen 2008 Xterra has individual coil packs. Whereas I think the older 1st gen Xterra and QX4 had a distributor. 

Paul_VR6 (Forum Supporter) said:

You broke the first rule of winter beaters, defer all pre-emptive repairs indefinitely. If catastrophic, purchase new beater. Repeat. 

You might be onto something! To think, I've been doing it wrong this whole time!