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ddavidv
ddavidv UltimaDork
2/16/24 7:04 a.m.

Not yet 18, I changed the oil in my Fiat 124 and failed to notice the Fram filter left it's old gasket stuck to the housing. Installed new filter. Shortly after, proceeded to sop up 5 quarts of fresh Castrol.

I_dunno
I_dunno New Reader
2/16/24 7:40 a.m.

I was a dealer tech for 15 plus years so i have several idiot moments but this one is my worst/favorite. Bought an old dodge ram with 360 in it. Truck had a misfire on two cylinders next to each other. I immediately assumed rocker or head gasket etc. You know something mechanical inside. I started to pull valve covers and such. My buddy walked up and swapped the two plug wires. Truck ran fine. We still joke about it years later. 

A 401 CJ
A 401 CJ GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
2/16/24 8:09 a.m.

I was changing the oil on my '84 VF-700 Interceptor (the original crotch-rocket) one fine Spring day when my cousin, who I didn't see that often, happened along and we started talking.  Grandma had invited us to a spaghetti dinner.  Great.  As soon as finished the oil change and got cleaned up it was off to grandma's.  Me on the Honda and him following in his car.  We get 10 miles up the road on a steep uphill and I wind it up but suddenly it doesn't feel quite right.  In fact, it feels downright scary.  I think my tire is going flat.  Get to the top of the hill and immediately see the problem.  I hadn't tightened the plug in the distraction of my cousin showing up.  I had been running over my own oil and slip-sliding up the hill at high speed.  No damage though except for my pride.  And, most amazingly, we followed the oil trail back down the hill and even managed to find the plug.

Noddaz
Noddaz GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
2/16/24 9:12 a.m.

Ever have an "I'm an idiot" automotive moment?

Life would not be complete without them.

Years ago I was changing oil on a RV.  I was interrupted a few times during the job (not an excuse for due diligence) and preceded to top off the oil and climbed in and started it up and waited for the oil light to go out.  After about 10 seconds or so I realized I forgot to put a filter on.  7 quarts of oil under 40 PSI makes quite a mess under the vehicle.

bobzilla
bobzilla MegaDork
2/16/24 9:13 a.m.

The only reason I don't have a story right now is I haven't wrenched in a bit. Because EVERY time I wrench I do something stupid. 

Noddaz
Noddaz GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
2/16/24 9:17 a.m.
bobzilla said:

The only reason I don't have a story right now is I haven't wrenched in a bit. Because EVERY time I wrench I do something stupid. 

I understand this.   I just did not want to be the first to say it.

Tom_Spangler (Forum Supporter)
Tom_Spangler (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
2/16/24 9:21 a.m.

I have more of these stories than I care to admit. Lately, it seems like most of them come from misreading a torque spec. Last year I was doing wheel bearings on the Expedition. I read the wrong spec in the Haynes manual for the nut at the end of the halfshaft and broke it off. That led to a new halfshaft, which leaked, which led to a new seal on the front diff, which still leaked, which led to me taking it to a shop and having them install a new halfshaft because the one Autozone sold me was the wrong part. Then it was still making nosie, which led to new IWEs, which worked for about 6 months, then back to the same shop for IWE eliminators. All told, that broken halfshaft nut ended up costing me just over $1000.

calteg
calteg SuperDork
2/16/24 9:22 a.m.

Spent 1.5 hours smashing the rotor of a Fit with progressively larger hammers trying to get it off the hub. I finally decide to give it a once-over and see the small factory retention screw that Honda's have. 

In the process of hulking out, I managed to damage the threads on one of the four studs. Tired, I decided to double down on my idiocy and, after putting the wheel back on with just 3 lugs, I drove it to the nearest tire place to have them replaced the damaged stud. In the process, I damaged 2 of the remaining studs and ended up having to replace all 4.  

GopherBrokeRacing
GopherBrokeRacing New Reader
2/16/24 11:21 a.m.

Yup. Starting my newly rebuilt TR6 engine for the first time, all it would do is sputter.  Apparently there was a spark, but boy was it wrong.  After a lot of head scratching and diagnosis, I realized that I had installed the plug wires on the distributor in reverse order.  OMG, the distributor rotor turns counter-clockwise!  Who knew??  

Jay_W
Jay_W SuperDork
2/16/24 11:38 a.m.

Here's just  the most recent dumb, certainly not the dumbest dumb. So after near 2 years of bldg permit hell, I finally have a shop, and then after a few months of simply no time at all, me and my neighbor put the 2post lift up, get er all installed and wired and yay I have a lift! So the inaugural hoist will of course be my car. Put it up in the air and say, right off, "Golly why are my 8000 mile-young front tires showing cords on the inside shoulder?" a bit of poking about shows a bit too much play in the front end so off to FCPeuro and all new front end bits. Hey. It's on a *lift*. In my *shop*. With *lights* so I can *see*. Well, that job went ever so much easier than it would have otherwise, I whistled right through it, gave everything a good going over...except for the brake caliper bolts on the passenger side... Put the car on the ground, go do test drive, get about 50 yards down the driveway and hey what's that noise? I got lucky, didn't break anything, tightened the bolts, and prepared myself for the fact that all future jobs on the lift shall be conducted with the same mindset I used to have when doing car work on jackstands: "wotta PITA, make sure EVERYTHING is PERFECT before putting the damn car back down" 

Gad... but at least the ol' girl goes down the road real nice now!

Loren_SD
Loren_SD New Reader
2/16/24 12:01 p.m.

In my early 20s I had an Olds F-85  215-V8 in a Vega I'd take up the canyon roads, the oil pan was kinda vulnerable and would periodically get split open.  After a time or two hassling with removing it I just left it on the car to gas weld and that worked the first time.  The second time, the car had sat for a few days and I guess fumes built up inside the engine.  With it up on ramps and me underneath, I lit the torch and got the pan hot and BOOM.   I was stunned enough that I didn't know up from down, and had to feel my face to see if it had been blown off, I seriously didn't know for a moment.  No, everything fine, the tin oil galley cover had been wrapped around the bottom of the intake for the blast to go upward and I guess the shock reflected off the bottom of the hood and that's what I felt.  At that point I just went ahead and welded it but the next time I pulled it off again.

Yesterday afternoon I did the brakes on my daughter's Hyundai and was pretty mystified how I couldn't get the rear calipers off the discs, no matter what I did.  Until I remembered I'd set the parking brake.

  

Turbine
Turbine GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
2/16/24 12:05 p.m.

I ruined two press-in wheel bearings on my Audi 200 by forgetting to support the inner race while I pressed the hub in.

Started on the driver's side, got the hub nearly all the way pressed in before the bearing popped. At the time, I figured I'd just gotten a bad part so I moved over to the passenger's side and did the same thing. Not catastrophic by any means, but a kinda expensive lesson
 

wae
wae PowerDork
2/16/24 12:14 p.m.

I don't call them "moments".  I spell it "build thread".

As soon as I brought the RV home after buying it, I changed the oil.  From there, I needed to take it to the courthouse to do the inspection, transfer the title, and get it registered.  On my way there I looked out the side mirror and saw giant orange flames and black smoke coming from the underside.  I was on a two-lane mostly residential road with no shoulder, but I knew that just up the road was an intersection with turn lanes and a business with a parking lot, so I floored it to get there as quickly as possible.  Once I got there, I slammed it into park, shut it off, grabbed the fire extinguisher, and ran outside to spray it down.  I defecate you negatorily, some dude pulls up and tells me that he saw my RV was on fire.  I told him that I appreciated his information because I was wondering why I was on the side of the road using a fire extinguisher. 

Once the fire was out, I started to take a quick look and that's when the police showed up.  I saw that there was oil everywhere and told the cop that I thought I had an oil leak and that was the cause.  He told me that it had to be electrical because - and I berkeleying quote - "oil doesn't burn".  I thanked him for his contribution and went back to figuring it out.

Now, I had been told many moons before this about how you always needed to make sure the oil filter gasket came off.  And for at least decade and a half, I checked that religiously.  Not once did the gasket ever stick to the block.  I figured that was one of those old wives tales and not something that really happened.

That day, on the side of the road, covered in extinguisher powder and oil, I confirmed for myself that it is, indeed, something that really happens.

To this day, I keep that gasket hanging above my desk as a reminder to not skip steps, even if they seem like stupid steps.

 

Dean2
Dean2 New Reader
2/16/24 12:16 p.m.

I got my first fun car, a 1975 Bronco with a 302 and an automatic, before I knew anything about cars.  At the time, it was just an old truck that mere mortals could afford, even if they couldn't really afford to take it to a shop if something went wrong.  Something went wrong.

I was going to go somewhere one day, but it wouldn't start.  Turned the key and nothing.  Hmm, dead battery?  I did have jumper cables and my wife and I had a second car (1987 GTI - regular car that was actually our first fun car, just didn't know it at the time).  Jumping did nothing.  Pulled the battery and had it tested somewhere.  It was fine. 

So, I rubbed my two brain cells together and figured it must be a bad ignition switch or wiring issue.  To test my theory, I decided to jump straight from the battery to the starter motor.  Makes sense, right?  Just bypass all that wiring!  I clamped one end of the jumper cable to the lug on the starter and turned the key to run.  Luckily, I did have the presence of mind to go find my wife to ask her to sit in it and stand beside it, not in front of it, when I touched the jumper cable to the battery positive.  (Well, maybe I could only reach the battery from the side???) 

Oh, and the only real issue with the car was a very high cold idle.

Instantly, there's gravel spraying down the driveway, with a 302 V8 at 2000 rpm propelling my lovely Bronco towards my landlord's not so lovely house, and a wife with eyes the size of silver dollars.  She slammed on the brakes, slid to a halt about three feet from our bedroom wall, and put it in park.  Doh!

The last time I had driven it, I got home and really, really, really had to go.  Of course you could pull the key out without putting it in park, so apparently I just turned it off and jumped out.  I'm lucky I didn't kill myself, the car, or the house!

Dean

Floating Doc (Forum Supporter)
Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
2/16/24 12:54 p.m.

Did a camshaft break in on a new short block without any coolant. Lower row of head bolts were seeping after I sorted it out. I wasn't going to just pull and replace the bolts so I got to replace the head gaskets a few weeks later. 
This was in 1995. A few months ago, I read somewhere that ARP bolt sealer has a reputation for seeping, so I might have had to do the gasket swap anyway.  
 

The next time I had the heads off that engine, I hooked the plug wires up backwards. I couldn't get it to fire. Should've been the first thing I checked, $50 for the tow and "repair". 

calteg
calteg SuperDork
2/16/24 1:28 p.m.

In reply to wae :

Also check that there's actually a gasket on the filter, especially if you buy from Wally-world. Learned that one the hard way on a Corolla several years ago

Jay_W
Jay_W SuperDork
2/16/24 1:54 p.m.

Ok, the dumb that can't be forgotten, no matter how hard I try. 

~1986, I've had my beloved hotrod 510 for a year or two. It had big ol Isky valve springs and a great big ol lumpy cam to go with the big ol Mikunis. Prolly all of 140 hp outta that poor thing. Anyway it needed regular valve lash adjust, if it started ticking at cold start, that was my clue that it was time to check lash again and in so doing, I noticed a wierd crack in the nose of the cam, under the front of the timing gear. Took the gear off and found that I had a 3or so mm chunk of the cam had separated itself, it came outta there with a magnet. Careful inspection revealed nothing similar anywhere else. Had I been even mildly smart, I woulda surrounded the area with rags, given the pit where that chunk used to be a light dremel to stop edge risers, stuck the gear back on, and hoped for the best. 

But I didn't. I were an 20 yr old "mechanic". So I figured "time to replace cam. how hard can it be. thinka how moar fasterer it'll be with shiny new lumpycam".

Well, yagotta pull the cam towers. There are 2 bolts per. Their tq spec is in inch lbs.

And one of em *broke* on the way out.

Here was another chance to not be stupid, and pay someone to fix the problem. But I passed on that opportunity and tried to remove the stump myself. Which of COURSE turned into an epic fail. By the time I was done digging that hole, I'd ruined the mating surface tween the tower and the head, aint no way it was ever gonna line up again. I ended up having to buy another cyl head, then take it to a speed shop to port it, and oh yes buy another lumpy cam, cuz again, too stupid to ask for an opinion, the car sat for a month while I borrowed my parent's car so I could continue going to my 5 buck an hr job to pay for this blunder, which cost half as much as I'd bought the car for.

"the stupid.... the stupid..."

Stampie
Stampie GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
2/16/24 1:55 p.m.

In reply to roninsoldier83 :

Then I take that back.

MiniDave
MiniDave HalfDork
2/16/24 2:06 p.m.

Tightening the knock off wheel spinner on a Jag E-Type with a lead hammer, missed the end of the spinner and hit my ankle bone on the inside of my left ankle......still hurts 50 years later if I touch it with something metal......

bobzilla
bobzilla MegaDork
2/16/24 2:40 p.m.
Noddaz said:
bobzilla said:

The only reason I don't have a story right now is I haven't wrenched in a bit. Because EVERY time I wrench I do something stupid. 

I understand this.   I just did not want to be the first to say it.

I have no problems calling myself out. 

 

roninsoldier83
roninsoldier83 GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
2/16/24 2:55 p.m.

I just made this thread yesterday and had another moment today. 

A while back, I had an aftermarket cat-back exhaust on my AP2 S2000. It wasn't on the car for very long- I decided I preferred the look and fitment of the stock exhaust. Unfortunately, when I was removing the stock exhaust (it had never been removed), the studs in the catalytic converter got chewed up something awful: 



^^^Note: the one that is snapped off did so this morning during removal (I didn't drive around with a snapped off stud lol). 

When I put the stock exhaust back on, I suspected I had a bit of an exhaust leak due to the nuts not wanting to seat properly on the chewed up studs. 

So, I got online and ordered brand new OEM hardware from Honda, more for peace of mind in the event there was a small leak. 

I got the cat out this morning without issue. When it comes to removing the OEM studs, I used the combination of a torch and an air hammer. I avoid using an actual hammer for fear of bending the flange ears. This worked like a charm! I got all 3 old studs pressed out in just a few minutes and tapped the brand new ones in, no problem: 



While I was torching the cat, I didn't realize the air hose for my air hammer got too close to the torch... all of the sudden a massive hissing noise came out of nowhere and I'm looking around the garage like WTF is going on here?!? Then I see the culprit: 



Apparently air hoses don't hold up too well to torches lol. I really need to start paying attention to what I'm doing. 

I pulled the steering rack from my track Miata to properly depower it.  During reassembly I didn't push the input shaft coupler far enough onto the rack's spline, and the clamping bolt did not go through the safety cutout on the spline shaft- it was completely off the end of the spline.  Flash forward a few weeks, I'm coming in hot to turn 10a at Road Atlanta.  I go to turn in, hear a BANG!, and go completely straight into the sand trap at well over 60mph.  Talk about a "Code Brown" moment...  

That night as I lie in bed, I thought about how different that experience would have been if the steering had let loose on my way down to Turn 12.  Still gives me chills...

chknhwk
chknhwk Dork
2/16/24 4:02 p.m.

I'm just going to leave this here... 

Datsun240ZGuy
Datsun240ZGuy MegaDork
2/16/24 4:30 p.m.
chknhwk said:

I'm just going to leave this here... 

Winner winner, chicken dinner.  Evidence pictures?  You win the thread!

procainestart
procainestart SuperDork
2/16/24 6:03 p.m.

This goes in the "I'm a complete berkeleying idiot" category. 

A trans oil seal failed in one of my Saab 900s, fluid go bye-bye. Had I not tried to roll it downhill to a shop, I might've gotten away with a rebuild. But I didn't, and wrecked everything.

I found/bought a core, had it rebuilt, and installed it, an engine-out job. 20 minutes after startup, engine sounds like death. Drop it at shop late in week, frustrated, certain it was a E36 M3ty coincidence. 

That weekend, rope two friends into helping pull an engine from a Pick&Pull. 

Shop calls on Monday: someone forgot to torque the flywheel bolts.

I know most of the guys in the shop. Picking it up was the biggest automotive walk of shame I've had. 

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