Feeling stuck in a hole in an automotive sense. Car guy life advice

I know everybody on here leads very different lives. I really have only met two of y'all in real life to even know your stories. Many(most?) of you guys have been doing this car thing longer than I have, or longer than I've been alive, and have seen things from very different perspectives. I would love to hear from you (trustworthy?) guys.

PART 1:

I'm 29 years old and single. I love my current work and schedule, but it makes my hobby kinda tough. I'm living 6 months in NC and 6 months in CA. This work schedule will continue for the foreseeable future, hopefully for many years to come. I have a "real" home to come back to, where my cars/tools currently live in a storage unit. Conveniently it has low property tax and no emissions testing. I would love to settle in to having a garage here. My parents have offered me property. I don't want to keep my cars outside here with our semi regular hurricanes/flooding/salt air. Luckily the property they offered is more than 10' above sealevel!

I worry about what happens if 3, 5, 10 years down the line my life changes in a big and unforeseen way. I worry about a big move after settling down. Anybody ever deal with that? I remember when VCH made a big move a few(many?) years ago(with way more stuff than me) and talking to him about it, but it's been a while. I just don't want to spend money building my own eclectic garage/home and then leaving and trying to sell something that nobody wants.

PART 2:

I have a thing about not having cars with overlap. I don't need/want two cars that fulfill the same niche. My mental picture is of a venn diagram with little to no overlap.

I have a dedicated car for that 6 month journey. My XJ is a fantastic roadtrip car and a monster in the snow/ice of Tahoe. The Jeep does everything I ask of it and I can't think of a car that would do it better. It's an amazing appliance. I'm not emotionally attached, but it would be hard to replace it with something that did the same things for my current investment. Currently it needs a little rust bubble fix and a new windshield.

I have a fun summer daily in my E36 M3ti. It's truly my dream car. I always wanted a 6cyl Compact. It's everything I wanted. I've got a lot invested between purchase, work I've done, and a factory respray. It even has clean front sway bar mounts! It's got an intermittent cooling leak and an electrical gremlin that won't let the AC compressor turn off. It's getting sub 2500 miles(even less this year) yearly. I wouldn't trust it for a long journey for the cooling issues. I'll take it 5 hours maybe, but never more than my 100 free AAA miles from somebody I know.  Awkwardly I could never sell this car but at the same time I don't think I'd be too distraught if a tree fell on it or something. I have no idea what to do with it. I would like a fast car and this would be a good candidate. Fuel economy be damned if I'm using it for 2500 miles per year, mostly just for a trip to get pizza on Friday night or a run up to the golf course.

Then I've got a project with my W116 300SD Lemons car. It needs a lot of love that I haven't been able to give it without a garage. It needs a full cosmetic restoration and needs an engine. I did a mediocre job painting it 5 years ago that's not held up well to the elements. It's not waterproof so I don't really want to keep it outside. Plus, in fall 2016 we nuked the engine and now it doesn't start all that great and it runs a little warm. What I'm trying to say is, I can't get rid of my beloved race car and it needs a cash injection(that I have set aside) as soon as I make a bigger life decision. It could become a parade car, cruiser, tow pig, racecar... don't know until it happens.

But I have wants(not needs). I see some of you guys with way more cars than me. I just don't know how to tell myself what is and what isn't okay. What other non-overlapping circles can I draw? Pickup truck? Tow pig? I kinda(really) want a firetruck. A summer with a Manx would be great. I've been eyeing my neighbor's Deuce-and-a-half that's for sale.

I love what I have and have a hard time thinking of losing what I have but I want other things, possibly even temporarily, but I can't really store more things(yet) and I only really drive the fun stuff 6-7 months out of the year anyway.

I realize that wasn't really a question, but I tried.

Don't worry about what you're going to do in ten years. You don't know, and you can't say with accuracy. That's just kinda life as near as I can tell, and I don't move around much. Ten years from now, you will have bigger concerns than whether you lost money on the garage. Five isn't much different. If you're going to up and bail as soon as you've gotten moved into the garage, that's something else.

Much beyond that, all I can tell you is that my tendency to move fairly slowly has some upsides, but it's also dawning on me that I'm not getting through the list of automotive, motorcycle, etc experiences I want at a rate that maths out well with getting it all in before all I really want is a smooth ride and comfy seats (I'm 19 years older than you). A year ago we moved away from a decent garage to virtually no garage, and I'm still probably six months from having a much better replacement garage, but I also have the luxury of being happily married and having just moved from a house we weren't totally happy with to the place we expect to live as long as possible.

As you say, it wasn't really a question, but I can't help but poke at the sub-questions, and what jump out at me as things you can address. Do something about getting whatever kind of garage is enough to keep you moving on your projects, and if that seems like it's too much of a commitment for your unknowns, then maybe it's time to address your unknowns? Limbo can be a lot of fun, but you've got to be enjoying that fun enough for the stuff you need to postpone.

It's not really clear whether one place is home and one is the place you spend half the year. I mean, you call one home, but that's awfully casual for a half-year thing. If it's not two homes, that's a lot of time adrift if one of your central joys is stuff you do only at home.

I realize that wasn't really an answer, but I tried.

If you put off doing things that make you happy because of what may happen in the future you will never be happy.  If you want a garage now get one.  You are going to blink and you will be looking at 60 year old.

Life is a journey. Sometimes, it works out exactly how you want, other times, it throws a flat tire and two bad wheel bearings at you all at once. A prime example is my Prodigal Car, a Mazda P5 I sold two years ago. I never expected to see it again, but the buyer paid for it and never transferred the title, then abandoned it when it broke down. Did some work, reset the timing, and now I have a running, driving sporty hatch for effectively free. 
 

My point is, life happens, and it's never a sure thing. Find what you love, and do it! If you want a fast car, build one. Need a garage? Build it! Want to stay in one place? Find a job that allows it. I left a company that I spent nearly ten years at because they kept jerking me around on scheduling. Life's too short to make do, ya gotta run out and get what you want. 

My only advice is to structure your hobbies so they add to your life, not so they are a giant source of stress.  If I living 1/2 NC, and 1/2 in CA I think I might lay off cars for a while.

Get a friend in the military and ask them about it. You get used to changing long term plans. 

I would look at "smaller" projects, possibly totally different on each coast.  Snowmobile, dirt bike, or something else easier to put into storage than a car.  Something that makes sure East and West do not overlap and scratch the same itch, so you get to the other coast missing the project on that coast and wanting to get started right away.

Conversely, perhaps get into shifter carts?  You can rebuild on the kitchen floor and move it on the roof rack and take your project with you.

In reply to buzzboy :

IMO embrace the want.

I'm at a point where I can generally buy what I want but I do not have enough garage space.  I actually kind of enjoy the "want but can't have" torture.  Still gives that "feeling" ya know?  When you browse Craigslist or BAT, where before you couldn't because money, but now you could but can't because of space.  I like the tease I guess, because when the chase is over sometimes things can get bland.

Today I made a huge effort to drive 2 cars that don’t get driven much. I really like them both for different reasons.... track e-30 complete with cage and “dd” e-30 sedan for around town. (Yeah I get “dd” and “don’t get driven much” are confusing..... but COVID and a wife that can’t drivd stick and 3 deep parking in a single width driveway.....)

the track e-30 didn’t start.... battery dead since it’s been months since it drove anywhere. Didn’t get to the dd because replacing the electric fan on my truck got complicated and I ran out of time. All of this interfered with my ability to get my LS swapped camaro work done...

point is. More is NOT better unless you have a use profile that warrants it. Otherwise it’s just work.

So I went from a bunch of cars, like way more then anyone should really have to a semi decent number where they all fit a niche. Honestly my opinion cut down to one project car and something that does what you need as a daily and then use your spare time to work on other things.  Learn to weld, learn to paint learn other skills that you can use in the future and that bring you juy. Basically stop worrying and start learning.   

We all have the wandering eye. We want to experience it all. 

Addressing your concerns about upheaval, having the shop isnt the problem, its what you keep in it. Organization would be key. Only keeping parts that you have a strong chance of needing in the future and actually disposing of other stuff as you go. (I struggle with this hard). Labeled boxes, everything in a place and that space has a limit. It also helps if you go to dispose of something.

I have 1000sqft to play with. Currently I have the following

• 2007 Ford Expedition - daily driver, dad's kid hauler, tow pig, family trip vehicle, etc etc. Bigger than I need, but gets the job done. Slot-daily
• 1997 Mustang Cobra - first car that was mine. Very nice shape, would have a hard time selling. Autocrossed it for over a decade, its current use is backup autocross, fun street, and date night (when Aircon is wanted). I am trying to use it more, but young kids and rear facing carseats dont work in it. Slot-pampered object of love/datenight
• 1995 Mazda Miata - Was daily driver and STS autocrosser until I messed up my back and had kids. No aircon. Coilovers, header/exhaust, all the goodies other than engine management. Now needs to have rust addressed. I need to sell this. I havent even driven it outside my neighborhood in 2 years. I love the car, it just became redundant. I fear regretting selling it, but that would be better than watching it rot away. I need to sell it, and yet, would love to make a trackday car out of it. Slot-none currently
• 1961 Bugeye Sprite - restoration project that I am just getting on the road. Still getting to know it. Will be local only fun, need to get it some more legs to use for date stuff when kids at grandmas house. A case could be made to get rid of it, but wont happen, I am still enjoying tinkering with it. Slot-project/shows/datenight with wife
• 1994 KBS MK7 Formula 500 (open wheel racecar) - racecar, need to use this more. Only drawback as a racecar is that it has limited events it can enter, being an open wheeler.  Slot-srsbiznass racing 

Both convertibles are somewhat redundant to the Mustang for enjoyment roles, but the bugeye is currently the main project. I need projects to keep my sanity, even if they take years. Problem is once I do a project, I never want to sell it. 

You have to decide what the BMW means to you. At the very least, fix its problems so you can fully like it or just get rid of it and find a new love. (trust me, I am guilty too, I have needed to replace the steering rack on the mustang for 10 years now, but just keep adding fluid) The Merc, it almost sounds like my dreams on my Miata, someday, at some point, etc. You are adrift because you are in a rut on the BMW and a holding pattern on the Merc. You arent enjoying your automotive life, you are waiting for it. You really want to have an active project, but the one real candidate is waiting for a garage. You feel adrift more because of lack of a home base to your hobby it sounds like. 

As far as niches, what do you really desire to do? Tow pigs arent a source of pleasure, but a means to an end. You seem to want something fast, what is fast? Fast where and how? Racetrack or highway acceleration?  Do with BMW or start over with something else. 

We all get the wanderlust. My current pipedreams that arent happening any time soon if they ever happen at all.

• Post apocalyptic V8 something with way too much power. 
• Supercharge the mustang?
• Restore a vintage racecar, sportsracer or formula?
• Replica CanAm car
• Sportbike powered extremely light car, lotus7? 

See, we all do it.  

get mountainbike (or other bike)... ride

your head is now clear

Playing with a motorcycle/dirtbike or a go kart is a good option for sinking teeth into SOMETHING and can be done out of a shed or absurbly small shed-like structure. 

Having lived the nomadic lifestyle ( see NOHOME moniker) my move would be to liquidate, save $$ and execute when you have a more  stable horizon to your life.

None of your stored cars are getting better over time, but you are sinking $$$ into them and they eat into your mental and emotional energy. Sometimes the easiest way to see the  trees for the forest is to cut the forest down, sell the lumber,  and replant.

Pete

Just my opinion but no car benefits from sitting 6 months at a time, not even a daily driver. NC and CA are both great places to mountain bike though!

Hey someone who splits time in CA as well! I spend half my time here on the west coast and the other half in Florida. I have 6 cars total split between both coasts and each one fills a different niche. Out here in CA I have a 2001 Toyota Sequoia Limited with 2WD. It's got a lift with 33s and it gets me anywhere and everywhere I need to go out here. It's also great at towing and cheap to maintain. I also have a 2020 Civic Si for daily driver and potential autox/hpde duty (if i ever get around to that out here, I rather go enjoy the outdoors for the most part than spend a weekend baking in a parking lot). On the east coast I've got my Champcar Accord, an S2000, an E36 M3, and a Subaru Crosstrek. Each one of those cars fits a different niche and serves its own purpose. I also make sure to keep all cars on "garage insurance" when I'm not using them to help with overall monthly costs. 

I run into problems of not being able to maintain the cars as they should be and I have to outsource to shops every now and then. I don't see an issue with having so many cars as long as you are financially capable of doing so. It's your hobby, it's what makes you happy, so you do you. Don't worry about validation from us arseclowns.

If I could change one thing about my vehicle lineup--it would be to have a tow vehicle in Florida that doubles as a great people mover. My pops has two trucks and is always willing to loan one to me when I need one. I really need to get out of my neighborhood in Florida with crap HOA rules. People will call the cops if your car is slightly blocking the sidewalk and the cops will write you a citation for doing so as well.  

ztnedman1 said:

IMO embrace the want.

I'm at a point where I can generally buy what I want but I do not have enough garage space.  I actually kind of enjoy the "want but can't have" torture.  Still gives that "feeling" ya know?  When you browse Craigslist or BAT, where before you couldn't because money, but now you could but can't because of space.  I like the tease I guess, because when the chase is over sometimes things can get bland.

wearymicrobe said:

So I went from a bunch of cars, like way more then anyone should really have to a semi decent number where they all fit a niche.

I agree with ZTNEDMAN1 & WEARYMICROBE the most. 

I have the itch always. Even when young and poor and living all over US, I would get $500-$1500 cars and drive them few months. Committment issues. THink Tyler Hoover, without the charm, family oil money, looks, or brains.  Then when I had some money, behavior remained the same, but now prices of toys just went up. 

Tried to pair down a few years ago. Went from shuffling cars between storage, to buying more houses, JUST to store cars and feed the addiction. Boredom sets in quick for me.  My pairing down didn't work. Having more space, just allowed me to buy on BAT, etc, and fill them. 

Then the person who inspired me the most on this site is Wearymicrobe. I noticed how he methodically was pairing down, and I finally committed. Of course like alcoholics and drug addicts, I don't know what will happen tomorrow. But today I have paired down to the right amount. Nothing in driveway or street. "Manageable" between two properties all garaged.  I don't have to kill plants, as I kept sprinklers off, so they diddn't damage the paint on cars with water spots. Lots of other things -but thats the beginning of CAR OCD. 

I thank Wearymicrobe for the inspiration, and like other addicts, I know I have a car problem, and I know I am ok today with the right amount. What will happen tomorrow? How can I not block BAT/Craigs/Cars.com I don't know . But I take it one at a time. Every car fills a niche. 

Good luck on your journey.

itsarebuild said:

More is NOT better unless you have a use profile that warrants it. Otherwise it’s just work.

This can be applied to so many things in life.

My advice; sell the Lemons car, fix the M3 or have it fixed so that you could drive it cross country on a moments notice.........that will make it even more of a dream car. If the Jeep is capable of towing the M3 then keep it, if not get something that can tow and be a daily driver. If you ever end up with a single home base then you will have a tow vehicle.

I too believe in minimalism. While I have 6 cars; daily drivers for the three of us, a van to tow with, a F500 for autocross and a Datsun 1200 for vintage racing. They all serve a purpose, if they don't they go! 

I just recently sold my vintage motocross bike because it just wasn't being used anymore. We've had the Datsun for 34 years and I can't envision selling it but if it ever got to the point where it were just sitting it would have to go.

I have a three car garage and all of the toys fit in the single car bay. They are turned sideways and because they are very small cars they fit (smaller than a Miata) . I also have two motorcycles (a Beta 520 dirt bike and a 62 Honda 90 pit bike).

I've been racing for 33 years now and it's very easy to fall into the trap of trying to be a "collector" but the reality is most people don't have the time, money or space. Very few people can manage multiple projects, What happens for most people is they end up with a couple of long term projects and a couple of short term projects.................none of which run or end up getting used. on top of that you end up with a large stash of spares for said projects that end up needing cataloging and organizing which in turn eats up even more time. My rule is everything must run, if something isn't running then you cannot drag home anything else until the original thing is running.  

The sweat spot seems to be a daily, a tow vehicle if the daily can't tow and a fun car. Fun car being a track, autocross, race or Friday car. Much more than that and the fun get's sucked out of the hobby.  

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine :

I'm going to do that. Maybe after a swim, maybe I'll bike to/from the pool. It's not a far enough ride to clear my head, but I think that's what I need to do tonight.

In reply to buzzboy :

Since you dropped my name, I feel obliged to check in here.  ;-)  Actually I just found this topic by accident.  Oh well.

I'm 43, but I remember 29 like it was yesterday.  I was living in the the same state I am in now, but in the interceding 14 years I moved 500 miles away, worked there for 7 years or so, got married, and came back.  My family is not from either of those two places - they're another 6 hours north of where I am now. 

When I first moved from _here_ to the 7-year-temporary _there_ I brought something like 6 or 7 cars with me.  In those interceding 7 years, I acquired another 2 or 3 _dozen_ cars, and then liquidated a bunch of _them_ prior to moving back _here_.  I just thought about it for a second, and there were at least 2 cars that I relocated both directions. 

When I moved back _here_  (about 6 years ago) I bought a F350 and a double car hauler, and moved about a dozen cars back here.  Plus all my stuff.  That was like 5000 miles worth of driving. 

I figure between all the cars I bought, held onto, and then liquidated after doing nothing with, all the travel and storage and trailering costs, and everything, I probably could have had enough money to buy a brand new Corvette.  But the real cost was the lost _time_.  I can make more money, fortunately.  But I don't know a single soul in all of the billions that are alive or who have ever lived that can make more time.  (Except maybe 1...)

Additionally, I built a "dream" garage while I was _there_.  Guess what?  Some other guy owns it now.  Sold that property when I moved.  Now I'm building "DG2" back here.  Again, more time. 

One could argue that dating is the same...we spend all this time and money with people who end up in our life's rear view mirror. 

I will echo what many here have said.  As I've gotten older, the thrill of the hunt and the acquisition of cars has been dulled, and I'm more interested in working on them, driving them, and maintaining a fleet of stuff I'm interested in.  I bought a small appliance for myself and a large appliance for Mrs. VCh and the rest of the family (oh yeah...kids...they can happen too!) and pay people to fix them.  Tow rig is a fully-depreciated GMT400 that is reasonably reliable.  *knock on wood*.

At some point, if you're like me, you'll wake up and money will be less of a concern than time.  At 30 I had all the time in the world, and was worried about keeping up with my mortgage.  Sorry to say that I don't currently have all the _money_ in the world, but its enough that I can write checks for problems I don't want to deal with.  And that's a great luxury.  I have a kid coming to mow my lawn this week.  That's 3 hours of my life I get to do something else.  I might work on my new DG.  Or I might play with my kids. 

I grew up in one place, for 18 years.  Then I went away to college for 4 years...then to another place for  year, then another place for 6 years, then another place for 7, and now here for the last 6.  I'm slowly coming around to the thinking that moving around in search of....something...you might miss all the good stuff that comes from staying put.  Friends.  Connections. Love.  Family.  Building...something.  In retrospect I kinda wish I'd stayed in SC now, but we're here, and at this point any benefit of moving would be largely outweighed by the cost, lost time, and lost opportunity here. 

Bottom line, I can't recommend what you do today...because it might change.  I will say this: LeMons racing is one of the most fun things I've done in my life.  If I were you, I'd put some energy into having a good, solid race car again, and figure out how to enjoy it as much as possible.  I'm bummed it looks like we won't be able to race this year (basically because of covid-induced issues). 

Sorry if I ramble.  I'm probably not helpful.  I wish you all the best.  And if you ever find yourself in the neighborhood...I've got some homegrown garlic for ya. 

so let me summarize:

You're single, you're 29, and you only have 3 cars.  

Bonus:  You've been offered property in NC on your parents property where you could build a garage (you're currently paying storage fees).  

Extra Bonus:  You live in two phenomenal states for vehicle ownership (NC and CA).  

As a rust belt native in Michigan whose play car season is limited half the year anyways, and with a family, two kids and a dog, it sounds like the world is your oyster as far as car guy stuff goes.  Build a shop!  Hunt down interesting west coast cars while you're out there, or anywhere in the great rust free plains in between, and drag one home to NC on occasion.  

You're thinking way too hard about having to do something that doesn't have to  happen yet several years down the road.  Scratch the itch.  Just be willing to sell or trade/swap them as needed.  Build a simple shop and let your lack of storage fees foot the bill.  If a big truck strikes your fancy, it can sit outside, it likely has already anyways.  If you move away you'll have less urgency to move everything because you'll have a nice holding facility on your parents property. 

Many thanks for all the responses guys. Lots of good stuff to think about on my mountain bike tomorrow morning(weather permitting). 

maybe it's time to address your unknowns?

Yes, that's my biggest thing I have to do. I'm both afraid of change and afraid of commitment. Kinda explains a lot about my lifestyle.

If you put off doing things that make you happy because of what may happen in the future you will never be happy.

Amen. 3 years ago I made some changes with the goal to do things that make me happy. Prior to that I was in a downward spiral. I've pared back to 3 major hobbies, 2 of which make me money and the third is racing cars which kinda made me money once.

Organization would be key. Only keeping parts that you have a strong chance of needing in the future and actually disposing of other stuff as you go.

Everything I own fits in my two 10x20 storage units except whichever car I'm DDing. Tools, parts, fluids, etc all organized and categorized. I'm really anal about cleanliness and organization. I'm not into collecting things, only experiences. It helps greatly.

You are adrift because you are in a rut on the BMW and a holding pattern on the Merc. You aren't enjoying your automotive life, you are waiting for it. You really want to have an active project, but the one real candidate is waiting for a garage. You feel adrift more because of lack of a home base to your hobby it sounds like. 

I really think that's it, laid out so succinctly.

get mountainbike (or other bike)... ride

I ride my MTB about 1.5 hours ever day in the summer season. It's actually the reason that I can get away with having a fun DD. I live in a small village, maybe 10 minutes on a bike from any location. It allows me to have a car that I don't have to trust too too much and doesn't need to get great fuel economy or have the most comfortable seats. Plus, I get to be nosy on the bike, riding through neighborhoods and looking and what people are building(cars/boats/houses).

Don't worry about validation from us arseclowns

Haha! Don't worry, I'm always happy to hear other people's thoughts but in the end we all know who makes the final choices!

sell the Lemons car

The sweat spot seems to be a daily, a tow vehicle if the daily can't tow and a fun car.

Planet Express is effectively a family member at this point. My mother would kill me, or buy it, and she wouldn't do anything with it. Making it my Tow vehicle has been discussed. I'm kinda at that sweat spot. That leaves me the ability to have a list of "Car's I want to own for a week." 

Just my opinion but no car benefits from sitting 6 months at a time, not even a daily driver.

I know, I don't love doing it to the BMW but it's not terrible. If I can get them living close to me they'll all get driven 6-7 months out of the year. There are plenty of 'hot rods' out there getting driven a few times through the summer months that have been kicking around for decades.

Litterally everything VCH said

Wise and thoughtful words. Thank you. I do love your current homestead. And the garlic... If I ever buy another engine from you(or sell one back...) I'd love some garlic. Makes me wonder if Ted has dropped any hints about my love of vampire repellant. Doesn't look like ICR will be racing for a little while either. Oh well, it'll make the next race that much sweeter.

It's hard. Don't worry that you don't have answers. Keep looking.

Don't buy cheap tools though. 

dean1484 said:

If you put off doing things that make you happy because of what may happen in the future you will never be happy.  If you want a garage now get one.  You are going to blink and you will be looking at 60 year old.

I can testify to this!