First, let me start off by admitting it, I'm a total wuss when it comes to spiders. There's currently a hairy, black spider in the dash of my son's Protege. I'm sure he's small and harmless, but when he pokes his beady little eyes out at me (which are blue, btw, blue! Who ever heard of a blue eyed spider? Is he part of a new master race of spiders? What's going on here?), he looks like this:
Now, I know what you're thinking, man up and smash him. But this spider is crafty. He only appears when I'm going 70 mph in bumper to bumper traffic. He, so far, has laughed at my feeble attempts to smash him with my ice scraper, having found a refuge between the windshield and trim where no ice scraper can penetrate.
Normally, this would not be a problem, my normal spider solution looks something like this: 
or at least a thorough hosing down with whatever variant of Raid I have close at hand. That seems like a bad idea in close proximity to the dash and it's assorted electronics. Since he appears to have bested me, any home remedies to get my arachnid overload to depart or kill methods that won't take the dash computer with it? Also shared for sympathy at my plight.
Shop-Vac?
Or on second thought, maybe a household vacuum instead. Since most these days have a clear canister, you might be able to see if you get it. This worked once for me with a (less than happy) wasp.
Barring that, just hope it's a him and he lives out his days peacefully. Because if it's a her...
That wimpy little man-carried flamethrower may run out of juice before the job is done. This is probably more appropriate:
Or maybe the CRC electrical parts cleaner. Either way...
Close all windows, fog inside with Raid and shut the door, leave for an hour or so, then open windows and let it air out. The spider should then be dead, wherever it is.
Also, parking the car in the hot sun all day will often heat the cabin enough to kill any bugs inside.
Put a bowl of "curds and whey" on the dash along with a stool. Apparently from historical documents that draws them right out...
Leaf blower (kinda like the flame thrower without the added heat)???
If the spider's still alive, that means that he's finding enough bugs to eat inside your car to sustain him.
Just hang out with him. Probably eating some nasty stuff in the air ducts. Make friends. He'll find his way out when he loses interest.
Matt B
SuperDork
5/18/17 10:41 a.m.
Am I really the first to suggest this?
Obviously the answer is shotgun.
java230
SuperDork
5/18/17 11:02 a.m.
They are not fond of carb or brake cleaner.... But I am not sure dash parts are either 
When I was still liVing out west, I opened my cd holder and found one of these bastards.
It left on it's own, but I came extremely close to just burning the car down.
Maybe let the car sit in the sun with a black garbage bag over the wind shield, really crank the heat up.
In reply to RevRico:
I've been bitten by one. Not a good experience. I would not recommend it.
NOHOME
PowerDork
5/18/17 11:32 a.m.
The combined mass of what spiders eat every year, exceeds the total mass of humans on the planet.
Curious what the world would be like if the spiders were not consuming what they do?
Me, I would defer to the fact that it is not your car and let the kid deal with it.
On a separate note, they are kind of a cute little bugger aint they?
Nuke it from orbit.
Its the only way to be sure.
I berkeleying hate spiders and snakes.
I'm with Dusterbd13 this one.
Permethrin. Mix with water, safe for dashboards.
Everyone is so scared of spiders. We love them. We even had a shower spider who always hung out in our shower. (Secretly I think she was trying to see my dingus) anyway my wife accidentally splashed her down the drain (maybe she was jealous of the whole dingus thing? I dunno) and frantically tore apart the drain trying to save her. No luck.
I say let her stay. If nothing else it will make you appear unusual in that you don't fear spiders. Everyone on this board likes to think of themselves as weird, right?
I'd be happy to send you a collection of Brown Recluses, Joey. And you can come get the Black Widows out of my shed.
Matt B wrote:
Am I really the first to suggest this?
Obviously the answer is shotgun.
berkeley that. Car is a total loss because it's fire only for spiders. Can't be sure you got it otherwise.
Side spider story: I was working on my car in my garage in FL when a big juicy one went walking my by tools. Being the idiot that I am I hit it with the 5lbs deadblow laying near by.
Apparently it was pregnant or carrying little ones because what seemed like a million little spiders popped out everywhere. I just about burned the car down knocking over halogen work light next to me.
Got the brake cleaner out and hunted them down after that
The0retical wrote:
Matt B wrote:
Am I really the first to suggest this?
Obviously the answer is shotgun.
berkeley that. Car is a total loss because it's fire only for spiders. Can't be sure you got it otherwise.
Side spider story: I was working on my car in my garage in FL when a big juicy one went walking my by tools. Being the idiot that I am I hit it with the 5lbs deadblow laying near by.
Apparently it was pregnant or carrying little ones because what seemed like a million little spiders popped out everywhere. I just about burned the car down knocking over halogen work light next to me.
Got the brake cleaner out and hunted them down after that
North Carolina, 3lb hammer, exact same story.
My brothers wife lives snakes and spiders. I now call her to kill the littlr berkeleyers.
Op: want me to have her ride shotgun for a week? Shes looking for a job.....
In reply to Dr. Hess:
Giant House Spiders help keep the Hobo spiders in check around here...I can send a few your way to see if they'll do the same for Brown Recluses. 
Fill the car with geckos. One of them will find him.
In reply to joey48442:
I'm in your camp. I have several spiders in my bathroom that came and go as they please. I don't mind them as I can rest easy that they're eating other, much worse, creepy crawlies like mosquitos, fruit flies, and other flying disease vectors.
Sometimes I think about this: I had an Indian friend in high school who was from rural Kerala. Her family did not have indoor plumbing and they used to welcome the spiders to keep the mosquitos down in showers and outhouses. She would talk about (paraphrased) that getting bitten on the hootus by a mosquito is much worse than looking at a spider.
I don't generally mind spiders too much and make an active effort to let them do their job (eating bugs) but when one dropped from the headliner onto the side of my face while motoring down a country road I nearly E36 M3 myself.
That scene from the Wrath of Khan always played through my mind when I rode so I checked carefully before putting on my brain bucket....
As a general rule, I don't mind spiders.
Here's a thought.
Do you have a welder? Stick your CO2/Argon tank inside the car and crack the valve. 80 cubic feet of gas will displace all the O2 and should kill everything that needs to breath.
Not cheap, but it should be safe for all the plastics.
