NOHOME
PowerDork
4/27/17 9:49 a.m.
It is a trust thing...The same personalities that have kept us debt free our entire lives seems to keep us out of trouble when it comes to judging each-other about how we spend our discretionary income. "Not a financial train wreck?" was up there with the other important items on the dating phase checklist.
Mrs NOHOME trust me to not compromise the family finances with the car hobby. I trust her not to bankrupt us with whatever she spends money on.
On a practical side, Mrs NOHOME likes that there is a big garage full of tools and a designated person who will wield them to fix anything that goes wrong with Her Car or Her House. She has had 25 years to see how the car hobby drove that capability to the point where it would be rare to see a service person at our house, so it gets easier over time.
Does Mrs NOHOME sometimes think I am a crazy fiscally irresponsible idiot? Yeah, I expect she does, (cause I kinda am) but she seems comfortable with the level that I maintain. Her shoe collection on the other hand....
RedGT
HalfDork
4/27/17 10:12 a.m.
I run the toy car/autocross/track/rallyx situation on $150/month plus whatever can be flipped/sold out of that budget. (actually $100/mo right now as we're running a little tight while she is in grad school, and the autox budget takes the hit before the savings budget does) It's auto-debited a few days after payday in the same manner as retirement savings and property tax funds. If I can't buy it from that budget, I don't buy it.
I have taken 'advances' from our general savings a few times to buy a new car before selling the old one to fund it. With her knowledge, though she gives no craps as long as the money gets returned. And the money is gone for less than a week.
It helps that we both have no debt besides house + student loans, and we both trust each other to keep it that way. I was talking to a guy last night who took a cash advance on his credit card to buy a trailer and I just couldn't make myself do stuff like that even if I was single.
I AM HWMBO HEAR ME ROAR!
But seriously, if your SO doesn't love you enough to understand and support your car habit in a realistic way, then you've got 99 problems.
Honestly, I think most people use the 'SWMBO excuse' much too frequently and mostly when it isn't true. Seriously guys, is that really what we want people to think about our wives? This is a great example of a joke that seems innocuous and was sorta funny once, but it is played out and so common now that it is becoming normal and may even be starting to self-perpetuate a real issue. Keep telling your wife she shouldn't be happy about your car purchases. See what happens.
Budget? I spend most of the money not required for survival on the cars, and it isn't enough.
I see the SWMBO excuse as a cop out more than anything- it basically just says "I don't want to admit that I lack the funds, time, or guts for this so let me blame somebody else"
I'm amazed at how little some of you guys manage to operate on, I'm much more in the Gameboy category than the x% or $x category.
My wife and I have separate accounts and spend the majority of our separate incomes independently, as we each see fit. She makes just as much money as I do, so she has her own hobbies/interests. We're both in our early-mid 30's, have nearly 50% equity in our home, contribute heavily to our individual retirement accounts and split bills down the middle.
We generally go on 2 vacations a year and live comfortably, so she doesn't bother me about my asinine, expensive hobbies. She knew who I was when she met me and has long since accepted it.
Occasionally she might ask how much I spent on something (a car, or parts for said car). She's used to hearing the answer "it's none of your concern", and moving on. I don't give her a hard time about her spending habits (although she's relatively frugal), and she knows I wouldn't tolerate the inverse. I had an ex-wife that gave me a hard time about such things. I divorced her 7 years ago. Best decision, ever.
With that said, my wife is a rare breed. Her daily driver is a 2016 WRX and she has a weekend playtoy of her own (Honda CBR600 F4i). She's an ultra-runner (she literally runs 11-13 miles a day, every day) and a bit of an adrenaline junky, so she enjoys "spirited driving". It probably makes my automotive addiction a bit easier for her to live with and laugh about.
The only person that controls my hobby budget is me and I do a pretty decent job of not getting in over my head. Sometimes I might even play it a bit safer than I need to. I need no help in that department, and neither does she.
Blaise
New Reader
4/27/17 11:16 a.m.
NOHOME wrote: On a practical side, Mrs NOHOME likes that there is a big garage full of tools and a designated person who will wield them to fix anything that goes wrong with Her Car or Her House. She has had 25 years to see how the car hobby drove that capability to the point where it would be rare to see a service person at our house, so it gets easier over time.
HA. This. Even if she does think I'm a little nutty for owning multiple miatas, she does LOVE that everything is always fixed, fixed right, and fixed often before she even notices it needs fixing. Kudos to women who appreicate this :)
Overall I love how everybody seems to have the same responsible spending habits I do. It's refreshing. The SWMBO thing can be a copout but I honestly know SO many guys who let their women run their lives. One particular guy is almost autistic-level obsessive about subarus and did NOTHING but wrench on them until he met his wife. Now, every non-working hour is spent doing yard work, decorating house, etc etc. He's inherited her '98 Corolla while the modded Subaru stays in the garage and she got a brand new car. What's worse, he bought a beater f-150 which he was SO EXCITED about for no reason other than having a new toy to wrench on, and the wife told him to get rid of it because it's too ugly parked in front of the house.
Didn't we just have a thread about something where a guy had to get a car that towed and got 20mpg, but he couldn't get 2 vehicles bc she said "NO?"
I don't have a SWMBO to deal with, but I also don't get a regular paycheck.
It really comes down to wants vs needs, I keep emergency money and savings, but sometimes keeping those stocked is rough, so I miss out on a lot of good deals just because I don't have the money to spend. Which is probably a good thing, because if I had money I'd be buying half the cars sold on here out of impulse.
Generally, anything left after bills, kid stuff, and food goes to the car or another project. Lately it's been tools more than anything. I've been doing things the hard way for so many years, that now that I have decent work area, I'm finally getting basic tools gathered so I can quit borrowing and take on more projects, and it's becoming a project in itself.
Budgeting a percentage or a solid number just wouldn't work. If anything it would scare the hell out of me to figure out every cent I've spent on stuff. Or have me buying stuff just to spend the limit every month or every year whether I needed it or not, because even though I know it's stupid, its how I am.
Robbie wrote:
I AM HWMBO HEAR ME ROAR!
But seriously, if your SO doesn't love you enough to understand and support your car habit in a realistic way, then you've got 99 problems.
Honestly, I think most people use the 'SWMBO excuse' much too frequently and mostly when it isn't true. Seriously guys, is that really what we want people to think about our wives? This is a great example of a joke that seems innocuous and was sorta funny once, but it is played out and so common now that it is becoming normal *and may even be starting to self-perpetuate a real issue*. Keep telling your wife she shouldn't be happy about your car purchases. See what happens.
This. There's much truth in this statement.
Blaise
New Reader
4/27/17 11:26 a.m.
Yes. She completely shut down the car spending for almost five years. Now that I have a car I'm not allowed to do anything with it (really don't have the money anyway). And she threw a giant fit when I casually mentioned I wasn't too happy with the car I bought.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm living for anymore.
In reply to Nick (Bo) Comstock:
OK, fair, for you it's a legitimate excuse- and that makes me feel really . I don't understand enough about your situation to comment further.
Blaise wrote:
The SWMBO thing can be a copout but I honestly know SO many guys who let their women run their lives. One particular guy is almost autistic-level obsessive about subarus and did NOTHING but wrench on them until he met his wife. Now, every non-working hour is spent doing yard work, decorating house, etc etc. He's inherited her '98 Corolla while the modded Subaru stays in the garage and she got a brand new car. What's worse, he bought a beater f-150 which he was SO EXCITED about for no reason other than having a new toy to wrench on, and the wife told him to get rid of it because it's too ugly parked in front of the house.
In that situation, I think I would find a new wife.
I'm not the type of person to allow anyone else to control my life and I don't understand the mentality of anyone who would live like that. I'm a responsible, hard working professional that keeps myself out of debt (except for the mortgage) and understands the value of self-regulation; while still being able to enjoy my life and pursue the things that I believe make life worth living. I think that description fits most of us.
You only live once. No sense in allowing someone else to dictate how that life will be lived, within reason, of course. For the record, talking to your partner and valuing her opinion as a rational human being is a far cry from "I can't do this, because my wife said so". I wouldn't abide that type of controlling, untrusting behavior for 5 minutes. Too many fish in the sea to put up with that nonsense.
In reply to roninsoldier83:
Agreed. SWMBO knew about my car 'hobby' quite well before we got married, and it came up very early on in dating (the first time I drove the DMC to a date...). If she'd have scoffed at it, we'd likely have not gotten very far. It likely helped that when someone did a hit-and-run on her previous car, an X-Terra, that I was able to track down and replace the damaged trim pieces at a fraction of what having it fixed at a shop would have cost. It also helps that both her biological and step-fathers are heavily into cars- one just collecting them but the other (step-dad) has a shop almost as big as our house with several lifts, so it was halfway normal for her.
So my Mustang is in the body shop right now, getting some minor repairs done because I hit something in the road on the way home from AutoX 2 weekends ago.
I just got a text from SWMBO: "Any word on our son?"
We don't have human children, and our dog is a girl. She's talking about my Mustang. LOLOLOLOL
Robbie wrote:
Honestly, I think most people use the 'SWMBO excuse' much too frequently and mostly when it isn't true. Seriously guys, is that really what we want people to think about our wives? This is a great example of a joke that seems innocuous and was sorta funny once, but it is played out and so common now that it is becoming normal *and may even be starting to self-perpetuate a real issue*. Keep telling your wife she shouldn't be happy about your car purchases. See what happens.
Yeah, "SWMBO" never really resonated with me, joke or no...Which is why I chose the acronym SWEETA for my wife:
She
Who
Enables
Every
Thing
Automotive
Realistically it could also be reduced simply to SWEET. Occasionally I also call her my CFO, but only when she is actually enabling me anyways. She trusts me and my judgement because I have given her good reason to over the years, and vice versa. IMHO, marriage is just about the ultimate 'team sport', being second only to parenting.
My wife and I have an agreement that half of all the cars I own have to run at any given time. So I'm up to five now with three running (that means I might be able to drag home a sixth although I'm sure that would be interesting)
She laid down the law on motorcycles after two of her friends died in separate accidents. The agreement there though is that all of my cars are maintained with no complaining.
I'm generally cash only, exceptions are made based upon future projections and having a need for that cash as opposed to financing at a low rate than paying off the loan quickly after that need passes.
Modifications and projects are handled through the use of my project management skills. There is always a clear end goal on the whiteboard above the car prior to starting a project. Afterward, something similar to an RFP is generated to make sure I stay on track. That's as much for me as for her as when I'm unrestrained by these things the turbo can be a little bigger, the engine more built, and the wheels wider.
Seems like overkill but I've found that her having an idea of what I'm doing, even if she doesn't fully understand it, with numbers alleviates a lot of stress.
That said all in all I weigh heavily on the side of caution with finances. So until its's clear that I can do the major parts of a project they don't get started.
RedGT wrote:
I run the toy car/autocross/track/rallyx situation on $150/month
And this is why I quite doing HPDE even while I was still married.
Excluding the cost of the car, a weekend at Hallett (very cheap for trackdays) with covered parking, gas/food/entry fees/water/normal wear and tear/etc...........even with a stock drivetrain Miata was north of $500/weekend.
Blaise
New Reader
4/27/17 12:40 p.m.
Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote:
Yes. She completely shut down the car spending for almost five years. Now that I have a car I'm not allowed to do anything with it (really don't have the money anyway). And she threw a giant fit when I casually mentioned I wasn't too happy with the car I bought.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm living for anymore.
Dude, what? Why? Is there a reason behind this? Or just 'because?' "Allowed????"
I have a set amount I use every month for toys, whether I spend it or bank it for later. As long as it comes out of that fund, I do whatever I want. If it is something that goes beyond that, we discuss it first. She does the same thing and it is simple and easy to do.
z31maniac wrote:
RedGT wrote:
I run the toy car/autocross/track/rallyx situation on $150/month
And this is why I quite doing HPDE even while I was still married.
Excluding the cost of the car, a weekend at Hallett (very cheap for trackdays) with covered parking, gas/food/entry fees/water/normal wear and tear/etc...........even with a stock drivetrain Miata was north of $500/weekend.
Yeah, I've done one track night. I had a BLAST, but I stick to autocross, because doing track days can get EXPENSIVE with consumables. A lot of Mustang guys will go through a set of tires, pads, and rotors in a single weekend, and that's not counting all the other fluids and wear items.
I'm debt-averse and like playing with reasonably cheap stuff. I'm the earner in the family and I take out all my promiscuous impulses on my car hobby, so it's not a problem.
Pay cash, self-regulate. Try not to lose money*
*statement does not apply to actual racing.
My wife is pretty much okay with whatever. She has the same reaction about a $300 classic mercedes as a $40,000 car. But, she's known me since highschool and knows my first love is cars.
Blaise
New Reader
4/27/17 1:15 p.m.
Sky_Render wrote: Yeah, I've done one track night. I had a BLAST, but I stick to autocross, because doing track days can get EXPENSIVE with consumables. A lot of Mustang guys will go through a set of tires, pads, and rotors in a single weekend, and that's not counting all the other fluids and wear items.
To me, $500 for hours of track time vs a few bucks for a few minutes of track time is a no brainer.
I'm more time poor than money poor.