Well, they did have to change the icon for the Sentinel program from HAL 9000 to something generic because someone forgot to ask MGM...
I drove the M5 this evening and spent some time thinking about controls. The M5 has a Sport button (the first!) that may be the button I use the most often, but that's because it defaults to OFF and I have to turn it on every time. The Tesla has an equivalent setting that lets me sportify the steering and the acclerator individually, but it's two screen taps to get to it. BUT it remembers me and that I like maximum sporty while my wife prefers a mellower setup, so it's always set the way we like it. Which one is better? A button that's easy to access, or a setting you rarely need to adjust? I think the only time I've tweaked the Tesla's sport settings was when we were driving in a mountain snowstorm and I told it to chill out. Seriously, "chill" is a throttle setting.
The BMW's DSC is easy to turn off, but that's good because it's frankly awful. I don't think you can turn off the Tesla's torque vectoring but you wouldn't want to because it's a big reason of why the car is such a good dancer.
Personalized settings on the BMW are the seat and mirror positions. You can save them to one of four buttons, so you get in and push your button if someone else was driving. There's a fifth button for "save". Meanwhile, the Tesla recognizes who's driving by the key or the phone used as a key and sets itself. If you make changes (seat adjustments are 100% conventional with buttons on the seat), it automatically saves it. So there are five buttons that just aren't needed in the Tesla at all. And yes, you can change the selected driver with a permanent icon on the screen.
The BMW wins on mirror adjustment - it's a little weird in the Tesla, you tap the screen (once to open the menu, once to say "mirrors") and then the steering wheel controls run the mirrors. Similarly the steering wheel. Not that I've adjusted them since I set them because it's saved as part of the personalization, but it's definitely less convenient. Folding the mirrors for parking is a dedicated button on the BMW, happens automatically when the car locks or parks at home on the Tesla. Again, there is a screen override if you want to unfold the mirrors for some reason, like washing them.
The Tesla wins on defrost - the BMW makes me turn on the AC separately if I want that, the Tesla is one button tap for cold defrost and a second for hot. Two taps in the same place trumps two separate buttons. Heated seats are exactly the same. Fan control and temp control, exactly the same. Aiming the vents in the Tesla is easy but weird, you slide your finger up and down on the screen after tapping the fan icon. It works, but it's some sort of black magic voodoo.
Nav is no contest, a big touchscreen backed up by voice control is far better than twisting and pushing a knob to spell things out level by level. Trying to set a destination in the BMW takes time and patience and cannot legitimately be done while driving. I'm not even sure it lets you. And after owning this car for about a decade, I STILL twist that knob the wrong way 75% of the time.
Audio controls are a wash, I think - the BMW has a bunch of buttons for things like CD selection in the changer which you don't need anymore but it's easier to select FM, both have controls on the steering wheel. Voice control is good here. I don't have the phone for the BMW (it would have been analog) so I can't compare that experience. There sure are a lot of buttons that seem to be associated with the BMW phone, though, I have no idea what some of them do. One has a clock icon.
Cruise control is about five buttons on the steering wheel on the BMW with no indication of set speed. Cruise on the Tesla is a nudge on the stalk and then a steering wheel roller dial for speed with a side nudge to adjust following distance. I'd call that a bit of a wash - the interface on the Tesla is about as easy to use but the cruise itself is a different type so the controls are different. The buttons are a lot more obvious to newbies on the BMW - they're in the exact same spot as the Tesla controls, but they're all labeled individual buttons so you see them easily.
Homelink is automatic on the Tesla, uses a button in the BMW. Again, is it more convenient to have the car just do it or to use a button? There is a permanent override icon on the screen if you want, which is less convenient but is rarely used.
Almost all of the permanent icons on the Tesla are on the bottom of the screen with about three on the top. In all cases, you can stabilize your poking hand easily. In the BMW, this is often not the case, there are buttons all over and some have you floating in space.
Wipers are basically left to full auto on the Tesla all the time, with the opportunity to override for swipes. Changing to a different set speed is two taps on the screen (permanent icon, then new speed). Honestly, we live in the desert so I can't say how annoying this might be. We just leave them turned on. We can do the same for the BMW.
I'll have to spend more time looking at some of the other settings for the Tesla like headlights, a lot of those systems are automatic so you just let the car take care of it. I do the same in the BMW - it makes its own decisions on headlights and I've never had to second-guess either. I think that's part of the key with the Tesla interface and simplicity, the car handles a lot of stuff on its own. Not driving stuff, but housekeeping like headlights and wipers and heat and folding mirrors and opening/closing the garage door.
The big difference? Other than a handful on the nav system that are complete mysteries to me (there are at least three buttons with icons that are basically < > and only one of them seems to do anything) it's pretty easy to figure out how to do what you want to do in the BMW if you've never been in it before because every button is a single function and it has a label. Not always a useful label (find the recirc button in Slippery's photos above), but something. If it's not a permanent icon on the Tesla, it takes a little longer to learn the interface for settings. But you quickly learn that pretty much any of the controls you use regularly are right there, just as convenient as before.