Cyclone03
Cyclone03 New Reader
12/3/23 8:09 p.m.

I lost my Dad in July of 2016 one month to the day after his 77 birthday. Much like JDP Jr my dad taught me by showing me how. Allowing failing without actual failure. The lesson were many,but the rewards immense   . From taking me to the West Tech trade shows at 12 when 18 was the minimum age,and the signed posters I couldn't show mom. To hanging out in Poncho Carters garage after the Ca. 500 ,Poncho referred to my dad by name I never asked how he knew him.

Your well used soldering iron reminded me about a tool moment I had about 6 months after we lost dad. When I was 16 dad gave me an Ingersol Rand dia grinder and 6 carbides , at the time I think it was about $200 worth of tools and required putting money away for almost a year to afford it.

I had taken it out to port match another intake manifold and IT just hit me....all the jobs,tasks,projects. Screws cut, intakes and heads ported,brackets shaped ,sheet metal repairs ,first on my 64 Comet,then 68 Mustang now another 64 Comet. That dia grinder and those tools and others has traveled from Ca,Az,Tx,and now into my retirement in Co. near 45 years this Christmas. It's honestly the only tool I clean and lube.

The loss of a father is more than just not having him. It's the lessons that we now have to learn on our own,hopefully not failing something that matters.

To all reading this who have lost their fathers,I hope you are as lucky as JGP and I am to have a treasured tool that reminds us every time we use it how proud dad was that we carry on the skills he taught us.

JGP Jr sorry for your lose and thank you for sharing a memory of JGP Sr.

Datsun240ZGuy
Datsun240ZGuy MegaDork
12/3/23 8:53 p.m.

Well said. Sorry about your loss and JGP - sorry for your loss too. 

My father taught me all the trades - he grew up when you did everything. I think about those lessons - how to properly hold a paintbrush- LOL.  He made sure I knew how to clean the whitewalls on his Oldsmobile 98. 

I seem to miss the big lug most.

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
12/3/23 9:01 p.m.

Thanks so much you guys. Interesting timing as I just spotted this thread after getting off the phone with AT&T and canceling his cell phone from our account. It's weird how the most mundane parts of loss are sometimes the ones that hit you the hardest. 

Really honored to see folks sharing their memories as well.

Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy MegaDork
12/3/23 10:11 p.m.

My Dad died when I was 9 years old,  and I was very lucky to have an older brother who did a ton of those Dad things for me.

I went to his 80th birthday a week ago Friday...I'm going to be hit very hard some day.

Condolences.  Lost my dad in June.  Sobbed for 30 or 40 min after relating a bit of a story in the for sale forum last month. It'll get you, nothing to do but go through it.  And remember the joys you shared, it helps a bit.

God bless ya man.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
12/3/23 11:50 p.m.

I still have my dad's cell number in my phone. I'm likely to keep it there, forever.

BenB
BenB HalfDork
12/4/23 5:56 a.m.

JG, I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away in 2015. He taught me everything from working on cars to being a good father. I miss him.

SkinnyG (Forum Supporter)
SkinnyG (Forum Supporter) PowerDork
12/4/23 6:20 a.m.

I lost my dad in September.  I shared all of my project cars with him since my first car at 12 years old.  The '61 Apache is the only one he never rode in, and his mind was already on the decline while I was building it.  It surprises me how much I feel that loss; the little kid in me saying "look at me, dad!" but he's not there.

Certainly a whole lot of introspective going on about it all as well.  It's a re-shuffling of philosophies and priorities. It's interesting.

Cyclone03
Cyclone03 New Reader
12/4/23 9:27 a.m.

In reply to Appleseed :When I got my iPhone I got it all set up and when I was done Mom and Dads picture was in the upper left corner,I didn't know I had pinned that contact in set up. I left it,it's like they are with me.

 

mtn
mtn MegaDork
12/4/23 9:59 a.m.

Haven't read the column yet, but here is my anecdote: My grandpa, at this point well into his 80s, told my parents that every time he bought a car, as soon as he got home with it his first instinct was to call his Dad to tell him about it and tell him he was coming over to give him a ride. Grandpa told this story around 2010, because he had just bought his last car. His dad died in 1954. 56 years, and he still knew that he was supposed to call his dad to tell him about the new car. 

 

 

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter)
AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
12/4/23 10:39 a.m.

feeling the anecdotes from SkinnyG and mtn, so i'll tell a story too.  "The Old Man (TOM)" was one of my Dad's friends.  he opened a foreign car repair shop when he got back from WW2 and, when i was a kid, Dad would stop to hang out pretty much whenever we were driving by.  TOM was a gruff old dude, and I learned a lot about life from those visits.  When TOM had some wisdom to impart, or just something funny to say, he would reach out with his right hand and grab the person around their left upper arm, give a squeeze, then say whatever it was.

Dad died in August of 1990, about a week before i started my last year of undergrad.  Some time after graduation, I stopped by TOM's shop to give him one of my graduation pix, taken with our FSAE car in front of the Engineering building.  TOM grabbed me around my left arm, pulled me close, and said "Your Dad would be proud of you."  that was 33 years ago, and i'm chopping onions typing it right now.  TOM passed away around 2005.  I think they'd both dig MonZora.

DeadSkunk  (Warren)
DeadSkunk (Warren) UltimaDork
12/4/23 10:39 a.m.

In reply to mtn :

My Dad passed away in February this year. Every time i called him we would eventually end up with him asking something about my cars. I miss those conversations.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
12/4/23 11:29 a.m.

The old man was one of only 5 people to ever drive the FR-S. I'm glad that he did. Another reason I'll never sell it.

Tom1200
Tom1200 PowerDork
12/4/23 11:33 a.m.

JG so sorry for your loss.

Unlike most of you my Dad showed me nothing mechanical; he was a stick and ball sports guy and I have neither the interest  nor the aptitude for those.

I was an aimless and accident prone child. I'm sure my father many a time thought "there's something not right about that boy"

BUT................when I started racing motorcycles he suddenly took an interest. He later told me he was impressed with how organized and focused racing made me.  He would bring his friends to the track form time to time.

When my folks moved to Florida he'd call and ask about what I was doing and how the latest races went.  He's been gone 5 years and I miss sharing the stories with him.

brandonsmash
brandonsmash GRM+ Memberand New Reader
12/11/23 10:30 a.m.

I figured I'd dig up this thread rather than start a new one. Or maybe a new one is warranted? 

Dad memories.

My father passed away in the summer of 2008. It was an extremely tumultuous time: My wife and I had just repatriated to the US in February, her brother passed away in a motorcycle accident in May, and dad had a sudden aortic aneurysm in July.

JG, you write about your dad laughing and commiserating the first time you were hit with an errant ignition wire. Same story here: I thought I had a miss and decided to check the ignition wire connections while the engine was running. Oops. That's a mistake you only make once.

What I remember most fondly, however, was wrenching on my car in the driveway. This was back in Kansas in the '90s and we had a giant sycamore tree that provided shade over the driveway. Dad would drag a folding chair into the garage where he could be in the full shade. Sometimes he'd crack a beer, but he'd watch me work. "You're doing it wrong, son!" he'd yell when I'd make a mistake. God, I found that frustrating! Why wouldn't he just come out and show me what I was supposed to do?

It wasn't until many years later that I realized that he wasn't just being an ass, but instead was teaching me how to think for myself and how to solve problems without someone to do the thing for me. That was an incredibly valuable skill.

We grew apart and dad and I didn't see eye-to-eye for a significant portion of my adult life. He and I didn't talk much while I was in college, save for a few times. When I moved overseas it was an even longer time between conversations. It wasn't until I got married that he and I really reconnected and started bonding again. 

These days I have cars that I'm absolutely sure my dad would've loved, and he would be simultaneously envious and proud of my workshops. It's an absolute shame that I haven't been able to share these things with him. I never had to watch his health decline, there's that; on the other hand, I still find myself thinking sometimes when I'm traveling or working on a car or whatnot that dad would loved to hear about it.

Here's to dads.

 

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter)
AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
12/11/23 10:48 a.m.
brandonsmash said:

Here's to dads.

berkeleyin' A

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
12/11/23 11:15 a.m.

JG’s dad was very good to us: patient, funny, inquisitive and willing to share his wisdom with the rest of us.

Mr. John was all kinds of awesome. 

whiteryder
whiteryder New Reader
12/19/23 8:00 p.m.

My dad and I put together some electronic kits when I was in junior high.  We built that color TV from Heathkit, which was also our family's first color set.  Of course it didn't work when we finished, but I got to learn about troubleshooting and contacting customer service for more in-depth help until we finally got it running.  I didn't know squat about electronics so it was basically solder-by-number for me.  But years later after my freshman year in college it got me thinking that it might be fun to know how all those little components worked, so I switched my major to EE to find out.

Until that happened, I was probably the only female freshman theater major at my college with her own (personalized) toolbox including a hammer, Craftsman screwdriver set, and basic weller soldering iron.

It's so hard to lose the ones we love.  But what we learned from them remains part of us forever.

 

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
12/19/23 8:41 p.m.
whiteryder said:

My dad and I put together some electronic kits when I was in junior high.  We built that color TV from Heathkit, 

 

 

Oh yeah my dad was all about the Heathkit stuff. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of the "modern" appliances we had when I was a kid were built from thier kits.

I remember our first microwave was a Heathkit. The lights would dim when the thing came on. When my mom tried to thaw a turkey in it one time it wouldn't fit with the door closed, so dad disabled the door interlock so she could run it with the door open and half the turkey hanging out. I'm sure that was entirely within design parameters and completely safe, though.

dxman92
dxman92 SuperDork
12/20/23 2:02 a.m.

Sorry for your loss..

Cyclone03
Cyclone03 New Reader
12/28/23 9:53 p.m.
When my mom tried to thaw a turkey in it one time it wouldn't fit with the door closed, so dad disabled the door interlock so she could run it with the door open and half the turkey hanging out. I'm sure that was entirely within design parameters and completely safe, though.

JGP I don't know if you have kids,but it may be amazing you do if you got too close to that microwave! LOL

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