King for a day

Scenario:  You are King for a day of the automotive world.  You can make a couple requirements by royal decree that auto designers, manufacturers, etc. must abide by.  What are they?

My decree would be this:

1. All vehicles must have a 2" hitch receiver integrated into them, hidden behind a panel in the bumper skin.  There are several modern SUVs that have this, but not any cars that I know of.  Bonus it can double as the tow hook(s).
2. All vehicles must have 1 or more 1/4-20 threaded holes in the dash for mounting electronics.  Phone, tablet, etc.  No more stick-on, clip-on, suction cup BS.
3. All vehicles with a fixed roof longer than length x must have threaded holes near(ish) the 4 corners of the roof for attaching a roof rack.
4. All vehicles must have dedicated physical controls for all climate and safety related functions, including radio mute, pause, volume, & off.

All headlight bulbs and other bulbs (fog light bulbs are excluded) shall be easy to replace  in the parking lot  of any gas station without any tools.

King Donebrokeit. 

All vehicles shall have a clutch pedal.

No more calling 4-door cars "coupes".

No more tarting up trucks so that they cost  $70k, it's a work vehicle, build it accordingly.

FWD, gone. Forever, forget it was even a thing.

Drive by wire can go away as well. It's awful. Just plain awful. Stop it.

ShawnG said:

FWD, gone. Forever, forget it was even a thing.

 

Off with ShawnG's head!!

I LOVE Dodge Omni!!

King Donebrokeit 

In reply to Donebrokeit :

I actually left out my comment about erasing Chrysler and their terrible products from the face of the earth.

But since you brought it up. 

Alternators shall be positioned where they are easy to get to, remove, service, and replace. Same for timing covers/timing belts, spark plugs, water pumps, oil filters, and anything else of that ilk. If that means you have to make engine bays bigger to leave more space around the engine, so be it. Make big long hood cars again.

More models have availability with manual transmissions. Models that had manual transmissions dropped from lineup automatically come back.

Also, midsize crewcab 4x4 diesel pickups are a thing and not insanely expensive. 

Miata Ute

The chicken tax is no more.

No more 25 year import rule.

Everyone uses the same size bolts, no specialty tools required for service

And if I were the king of the world

Tell you what I'd do

I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war

Make sweet love to you

Adding to my earlier list:

1. Manufacturer must make service parts original spec or better for 30 years minimum.
2. Service part markup is restricted to X% of cost.  Not sure how to define this, but I'm tired of some service parts being obscenely expensive.  No $5000 headlights, no $1500 catalytic converters 

Possibly the biggest decree of them all:

1. Manufacturer must have a recycling program for vehicles it produces and use them in a cradle to cradle operation.  Requirements here would start soft and increase over time.

Donebrokeit said:

All headlight bulbs and other bulbs (fog light bulbs are excluded) shall be easy to replace  in the parking lot  of any gas station without any tools.

 

King Donebrokeit. 

I like this one.  I'd even settle for requiring a screwdriver.

slowbird said:

Make big long hood cars again.

The thing is, long hood does not mean easy to service.

Rule 1:  WINDOWS.  Thou shalt design cars that the driver can see out of.

Standardized oil filters. Standardized spin on transmission filters. Standardized bulbs and wheel bolt patterns. 

No car shall have crap steering; steering with good feedback it costs no more than crap steering................stop it it's just lazy.

Addtionally anyone who designs crap steering shall be sent to reunification camp, whereby the offender shall be tortured by having to watch I Love Lucy & listen to the same 3 Captain and Tennile Songs.........................Yes I feel that strongly about crap steering.

Dedicated physical controls as per King Darwin's  #4 

No drive or steer by wire. 

Wrong wheel drive limited to cars less than 1800 lb and 90" wheelbase.

Windows per the Duke. Maximum front pillar thickness 2.5"

Drivers side airbags illegal.

Service parts available for 30 years minimum.

Maximum weight 2 seats 2500lb, 4 seats 3000 lb + 250 lb per seat. Maximum 1 unoccupied seat for any trip.

All drivers in the 95% size range shall be able to see, from the driver's seat, all four corners of the vehicle, without aid from a screen or similar electronic devices. 

Headlights not made out of material that glazes over after a few years gradually filtering out light transmission.

All vehicles must be competitive (but not dominating) in an existing street autocross class.

Tom Suddard said:

All vehicles must be competitive (but not dominating) in an existing street autocross class.

 

Doesn't that eliminate like 98% of the vehicles on the road?

In reply to ProDarwin :

The king shall not involve himself in the problems of his subjects. 

Any vehicle sold to a Law Enforcement/ Government Agency shall be a model and option package that any consumer can purchase, for the same price, excluding LEO-specific accoutrements such as light bars and police decals/ paint. 

ShawnG said:

In reply to Donebrokeit :

I actually left out my comment about erasing Chrysler and their terrible products from the face of the earth.

But since you brought it up. 

And who brought the V8 RWD sedan  back?