My car is so slow . . .

I swear the UPS man was trying to race me at the stoplight today.    

Add yours below.  

i swear the lady walking her dog was trying to race me at the stop light today

Every mini-van I come across lazily blows me away off the line. 

The HPDE instructor says "OK, you can floor it" and it's been floored the whole time...

In reply to Dave M :

Yup heard that one before. 100 HP of screaming hamsters. 

I drag race everyone away from every stop light, but nobody ever notices, and i lose over half of the races.

(Inspired by driving a Suzuki SJ410 truck in the early 80's.)

I am pretty sure I am going get rear ended one day when shifting (85 hp).

A good number of people out there today have no idea how manual shift cars behave and seem to get caught off guard when a suddenly doesn't accelerate for a second.

I used to drive a 1970 Mercedes 220D. Drag raced a VW van ... and lost.

...a diesel Chevette showed me taillights

With the current car, you need a newer M car or a V8. :)

And even though I don't plan on keeping the 135 long-term, I'd love to put a tune on it +60/80 would be even more ridiculous.

Dave said:

 

I used to drive a 1970 Mercedes 220D. Drag raced a VW van ... and lost.

 

I had a 66 200d, it rusted faster than it got to 60mph.

...I swerved to avoid a kid chasing a ball, and he finished his game and went home before I got there.

My car is so slow, Ken Block uses me for drift donut practice.

Dave M said:

The HPDE instructor says "OK, you can floor it" and it's been floored the whole time...

 

Yup ^ heard that my 1st session at VIR, stock miatas are..... momentum cars!

My car is so slow that I hit a time warp and ... I'm still waiting.

My car is so slow the hamster got out and started pushing

I drove SanFord 1000 miles from WI to SC. In that 1000 miles I passed exactly one car. That car was driving with the emergency flashers on because it was broken. It doesn't get much slower than that. 

...I got rear-ended by a Rascal

I "raced" a 1956 ford Victoria in Lemons once.

My car is so slow I don't use the brakes around the track. Because if I did, they would overheat.

OMGWTFBBQ! The 86 is underpowered and slow. Apparently.

...I raced a 12V Barbie Jeep for pink slips and lost.  Now little Jenny is the coolest girl in pre-school.

In reply to Klayfish :

Yeah but if they are like my kids they put a lawn mower battery in it and parallel wired the motors.  One of them needed wheelie bars when the battery was moved to the trunk.

I can't think of anything I've owned that could be considered slow.  Even my Honda spree went 45-50mph. 

Oh wait my medium duty diesel truck is slow, If I shift real fast I can hit sixth gear before leaving the parking lot...at about 23mph ninth tops out at 65 eventually.

Wait, I did own a Samurai.  1.3 liters of fury pushing a box of gears, I once got a ticket for speeding in it.  Must have been going 35 in a 30 zone and giving it all it had to make it to the next light before it changed.   I was shocked and impressed that I was speeding.

I can't believe it took this many posts but.....

HOW SLOW IS IT?

What’s bad is when you own a slow car that a lot of young people don’t know what it is and assumes it’s fast because of the way it looks.....914