I've never once had good results from an automatic car wash...until this weekend - and before someone gets up tight about it ruining the paint job this was just our ex-Enterprise 2014 T&C 
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Seriously, every time I've used one there's always streaks, bugs, crud, etc. left somewhere. It's been at least a year since I washed the van, but when we left IL last Saturday morning we drove the first 2+ hours through snow showers and brine-covered roads, leaving the van especially crusty. This of course was on top of a year's worth of bugs, tar, and general filth.
There's a "Hurricane" car wash just down the road from us, so Saturday afternoon I decided to use it in hopes of getting at least a bit of the crud off. It was $12 for whatever they called their top-of-the-line wash, so I chose it...and the van came out absolutely spotless. I'm still in shock and awe. Even the wheels are completely clean. I'm not sure the van was this clean when we bought it 1.5-years/50k miles ago. 
I doubt I'll ever take the Vette there, but that's mostly because I expect I would quickly discover every leaky piece of weatherstripping. However I'll definitely be taking the van back there again - even if not for another year. 
Brian
MegaDork
3/6/17 11:53 a.m.
I've had typically good results from the "Laser" no touch car wash. It gets the underbody and I don't have to do anything. It is useful in the land or road salt.
I do the no touch in my pickup every couple of weeks max. It does a great job. But if you leave it too long you will always have a film that needs to be removed by hand.
I got all excited about this amazing-sounding wash setup, but neither "Hurricane" nor "Laser" are giving me any Google hits in PDX... D'oh. Three years or so on, I'm still just stoked that I've found a place that can wash very low cars since it uses a conveyor belt instead of a guide rail...
We have a local place called "Sparkle and Shine" and they do an amazing job. I'll head over there in my minivan about once a week--- $5 wash, and use of their badass vacuums. No, it's not a perfect wash-- but plenty good for my DD van. They also have the super-duper deluxe wash--- but for the van, the $5 wash is fine.
My other cars get hand-washed--- gives me the opportunity to stay on top of them, maintenance wise. You learn a lot about a car by hand-washing. I kinda like it, even though it is time consuming.
All I can tell you from years of experience insuring car wash places is that I wouldn't take anything but a beater to a rotating brush car wash. It's not impossible that an antenna or trim piece breaks off from the car in front of you and gets caught up in the rotating brushes.
T.J.
UltimaDork
3/6/17 1:41 p.m.
In reply to Klayfish:
I didn't know they still had the rotating brush type car washes. I thought they were all touchless now.
FYI this place has both rotating brushes, and the big wavy "fingers of doom" that slosh back & forth/side to side.
I take the RallyCross Miata to rotating brush car washes all the time, especially right after events. 
The Costco near me has an automatic car wash. Works great. Cleans the wheels AND armor alls the tires. I just send my wife's car through it every once in awhile because I don't have time to do it myself at home.
We have a detail tent with pressure washer at my shop, so I knock out a quick wash on my DD when I have spare time at work.
asoduk
HalfDork
3/6/17 6:56 p.m.
Things I hate about the touchless wash:
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Old people and the line. They wait in line 20+ minutes, only to get to the payment kiosk and not know how to work it. Then they don't know when to pull in/out.
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I always am still left with this odd film on the car.
Meanwhile, I can pay a guy the same amount to pick my car up at my office and hand wash it. He even sweeps and cleans the windows.
A guy here locally once backed up in an automated car wash. It didn't end well.
I thought this was going to be a tale about a local bikini carwash or similar, and was hoping that it wasn't going to be the local H.S. volleyball team fundraiser.
Zombie thread, canoe deleted
