I went and got my E250 camper van weighed today and it came in at 7180 (I have 150lbs worth of stuff in it) and know that year 5.8 motor belts out 210hp I put the number into one of those online 1/4 mile calculator and come up with 19.8 seconds.
What's really hilarious is this is what my Datsun ran when I first started racing it.
My tow vehicle is as fast or faster than the last car it towed as well.
http://www.weissach.net/924-944-968_RoadTestSummary.html
944S2
V6 Colorado
One would be way better in the first turn though and the other way better offroad.
My truck is rated at just over 6 seconds, seems crazy to me but it does get up and go
edit: actually, 5.7 and 14.2 quarter mile
The Flex is supposed to do at least a 14.2@100 stone stock. Pretty sure my Boxster S wouldn't do that more than once...
In reply to chandler :
That's crazy how fast 1/2 trucks are today
My 94 Branger has a curb weight of around 3000. Until you add on the little extras like the tow hitch, my fat ass, and a little gasoline, let's say 3300. At a blistering 160hp through a manual transmission, that suggests around 17 seconds.
The LeMans I'm building will be just around the same weight, but at 550 hp, I'm hoping for high 10s or low 11s.
And yes, the LeMans will have a hitch and it will tow about 3500 lbs worth of boat.
Car and Driver says 15 flat:
It's faster than anything that it's towed.
I hereby propose a new trophy for the Challenge..... the tow vehicle drag racing award....
Twice I have towed to the challenge with Challenge-budget tow vehicles. The one year I towed with something over Challenge budget, it was a high-13/low-14 @100-104 car with a 5.2s 0-60 (GS450h).
15.3 seconds @ 90mph for my tow rig . It moves pretty well for a big hulking SUV..
The car it tows is an M50-swapped e30 rally car. Based on the internet's reports, it would run the 1/4 in almost exactly the same time with a slightly higher trap speed.
Legend says Don Garlits switched to Chrysler hemi power when his tow car (run on a lark) was almost as fast as the dragster. Up to then it was thought that the hemi was too heavy for anything racing related and the flathead Ford was the go to.
My 8,000 pound truck is supposed to do 16.6ish new. I have a programmer on it with different calibrations, i don't know how true they are but the +60hp one gets me the best mpg and is noticeably quicker than stock. The +250hp tune is ridiculous.
Hmm. Using 310hp as the flywheel horsepower and about 7,190lbs for the weight of the B.U.T.T., I get an estimate of 18.96 @75.6mph with the trailer attached. 17.47 @82mph without it.
My Silverado comes up at 14.7 @ 97 mph using a calculator.
The RV, on the other hand, 24.31 @ 58.93.
Oooh! The RV, that's a fun one!
I'm not sure how much mine really weighs, but if we assume about 15,000lbs and crank horsepower of 255, 23.8@60mph.
And it would probably weight about a hundred pounds less at the end of the strip after pushing 15 gallons of gas through the thing to get there!
Supposedly a stock '13 F150 EcoBoost FX4 will just barely break 15 sec on stock tires. My almost-stock Mustang should just hit 13.0 seconds. (All theoretical, mind you.)
So funny story about drag racing tow vehicles...
My dad was stationed at Wright Pat field outside Dayton OH in the early sixties and there was a big street racing scene. Supposedly one of the regulars was a guy with a station wagon towing a highly modified Ford Anglia. He'd show up at one of the late night burger joints leaving the race track and park in a visible spot. Of course someone would eventually ask him about getting the Anglia out on the street to run for money. His come back was always "Man, my tow car's faster than your POS." This of course increased the wager, and after much haranguing he would, indeed, unhitch the wagon and take the tow vehicle out on the street. Without fail he'd stomp them and take home a wad of cash.
One night after seeing this a few times dad and his buddy got nosy (and possibly inebriated) and decided to see what the Anglia was packing while the guy was out dragging the tow car. Turns out the "drag car" was an empty roller shell with no motor. 
Her truck is a high 17 easy.
Sounds about right. It is chubby, but works hard... much like the driver.
My F250 is quicker than any pass I made with my Rabbit GTI. Probably wouldn't be much slower towing that GTI either.
Back when I had my very modified S10 and a bone stock automatic C4 I toyed with the idea of making the truck a full time racer and using the vette as a tow pig. I think the c4 was good for high 15s? Idk, 84 automatic. Closest I've ever come to having a tow vehicle.
Isn't this where someone comes in to complain about the size of modern trucks?
Never had a tow vehicle. Last thing I towed with was my friend's Dakota V6 Manual. Looks like that would do a high 16/low 17.
The last vehicle I owned with a hitch on it was a manual Vue 4cyl 5spd. It was probably even slower. 1/4 mile calculator shows low 17s which seems possible.
I've never driven anything down a drag strip, so this is all theoretical paper racing:
Most reports put my Silverado (2500HD, LBZ Duramax) at about 16 seconds quarter mile.
The cars I've towed with it are the Miata and the M3. The Miata (a 99) was reportedly 15.9 seconds quarter mile stock, so right around the same. Currently it weighs 2450 and makes 340 at the wheels, add 200 pounds for driver and the calculator gives an 11.5.
The 2004 M3 was reported by magazines as 13.3 when stock. Currently it weighs 2750 and makes 325 at the wheels, so the calculator says 12.1.
Lots of power mods available for the truck, but pretty much all the tunes warn you not to use them while towing because of worries about killing the transmission. Since towing is pretty much the only thing I do with it this doesn't seem cost effective. :)
My tow rig is a diesel stick that weighs nearly 4 tons empty. I'm usually the last one through the intersection because I drive it like it's a big heavy beast surrounded by little squishy cars under the control of unaware drivers. No idea how fast it really is.
I saw an old Mini racer towed by a Cayenne S turbo - that would be hard to beat as far as performance - Porsche seems to suspend the laws of physics when it comes to the Cayennes and Panameras - no matter how much they weigh they perform way better than most would predict.
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