Slowest 0-60 vehicle you own

I didn't read the whole thread but mine would be my 12 speed bike.

Hey, the title says vehicle after all!

I have an all original 40hp Beetle.  It is very slow.

edit: actually my 88 Peterbilt 362 Cabover is probably slower than the Beetle,  but not by a lot.

fastest by far is my tuned k1300s,  then probably the tuned cl600,  then the modified 930.

My CR-Z is super slow. 2013 got a small hp bump, and I can't find an instrumented test. Honda claimed something like 9 seconds.

Same story for what I think my slowest ever was. Most testing says a Suzuki Samurai takes between 19 and 20 seconds, but those are all done on carb'd 4X4 models. I had a stripped down 1992 2WD lacking factory air and a radio, but packing fuel injection. I'd guess it would've been the best config for a good 0-60 stock, but that says very little. 

Verifying some of the other observations here; my '97 F-250 would leave the '73 MGB GT for dead. Not even remotely comparable.

I do think the MGB isn't giving of its best at this point; I'm suspicious of the former owner's ignition timing, the distributor itself, and definitely the DGV, both intrinsically and its calibration.

Let's see. The list of things in the driveway

2003 Hummer H2 - 11.1

2007 Saab 93 sport combi - 6.3

1989 944 turbo S - 5.5

1987 924s - 7.4

2003 Sierra Denali - 6.9 (this surprised me)

2012 biturbo CLS 550 4matic - 3.3-3.4 (Timed). Car has a tune.  This thing is very fast. 

So the winner is the H2. 
 

The car that is the most fun to me is the 924s. It is the best at nothing compared to all my other cars but it just has that something that makes me smile every time I drive it. 

I learned to drive in a stock IH Traveler with the diesel. 81 sweet horsepower dealing with 5800 lbs. Through a 727, no less. I've read 0-60 was around 25 seconds. I never cared enough to time it.

However, I did learn how to pass on two-lane roads in it. You know the road. You know where you can pass. You drop back, and as you are approaching a passing opportunity, you floor it. This is 10-15 seconds before you can even see if it's clear to pass. As you approach passing velocity you can see if it's clear or not. If traffic is coming, you put on the brakes. If it's clear you already have passing speed built up and can safely pass.  A lesson well earned, and one I can deploy if necessary even today.

My wife's 1991 F250 Diesel 4x4 would take that honor in my little fleet.  Zero to 60 in (get out your calender) 

My lovely bride's Sienna and my Scion tC are roughly equal at somewhere around 7.2 secs 0-60.  However, my tC is faster to the quarter.

Slowest vehicle I own sadly is probably one my race cars.

SCCA H-Production Fiat 850 (1990s spec) 

1990 ranger. With the 31 inch tall rear tires it's slower then my zephyr is. It also weighs 120lbs more. My zephyr was factory rated at like 88hp so it's not exactly lighting the world on fire even with the 3.08 gears!

Growing up around race cars warped my sense of slow.  I couldn't drive what some of you drive.   My slowest my 94 Miata at 8.8 and I find it almost unbearable.  I love Miata's but the stock power output has always been underwhelming.

My 94 Explorer is the slowest in my garage at 11.3. With nearly 200k I am sure it is closer to 15 sec as it sits. 

I grew up driving a 94 E150 conversion van my parents bought new. We loved family vacations in that wheeled living room but it was SLOW. It had the 300 6 which was a decent engine but it was geared for cruising down the highway. I need to look at what rear end is in it (my parents still have it). I imagine a gear swap would greatly reduce interstate merging stress.

Easy for me.  My '09 Chevy HHR.  Haven't looked up its' 0-60 time, but I'd guess it's around 9.5ish

After that, my other three vehicles probably would be nearly neck and neck in a drag race.  Haven't looked them up, but they are:

'10 Kia Sedona

'97 Lexus LS400

'94 Mustang GT

AnthonyGS said:

Growing up around race cars warped my sense of slow.  I couldn't drive what some of you drive.   My slowest my 94 Miata at 8.8 and I find it almost unbearable.  I love Miata's but the stock power output has always been underwhelming.

Drive something where the 0-60 is "eventually..." and you'll respect horsepower.

I knew someone who bitched mightly that his RX-8 was a "momentum car".  I gave him a multiple choice scenario:

You have a "momentum car" if you have wheelspin issues in:

A.2nd gear.

B.1st gear.

C.January

D. What is wheelspin?

Entitled weenie replaced the RX-8 with an S2000, and then a GTO, and probably still complained that he couldn't break the tires loose in 4th without a clutch kick.

Meanwhile, I replaced my 100hp Golf with something that was significantly slower...

When I first got my late ‘99 F350 dually with the 7.3 it felt like it was dragging a heavy trailer all the time.  It would hold a hill quite well without shifting down out of OD but oh sweet baby Santa was it ever slow.  Then I added an “Economy” tune from DP.  It’s advertised as helping with fuel economy and a side benefit is 80 hp more.  Some say it’s closer to 100.  Feels more like 200 to me.  That truck will flat bury my ‘13 Pentastar JK in 0 - 60 now.  I’ve been toying with the idea of throwing a set of hotter injectors on it.  That’s starting down a slippery slope though.

Slowest in the current fleet is my truck. Current transmission problems notwithstanding, it's still a 95 C1500 with a TBI 305 that makes less hp than the 2.0L 4 banger in my Scion. This situation will soon be rectified, though.

Slowest I've ever owned was my Cherokee after I lifted it and put the world's heaviest 31" tires on it with stock 3.08 gearing. 

Slowest I've ever driven was the 4 cylinder, 3 speed auto YJ my buddy owned for a while in college. Facing a stiff headwind or steep enough hill, 60 may or may not have even been possible. Terrifying to drive on the highway.

Knurled. said:

AnthonyGS said:

Growing up around race cars warped my sense of slow.  I couldn't drive what some of you drive.   My slowest my 94 Miata at 8.8 and I find it almost unbearable.  I love Miata's but the stock power output has always been underwhelming.

Drive something where the 0-60 is "eventually..." and you'll respect horsepower.

I knew someone who bitched mightly that his RX-8 was a "momentum car".  I gave him a multiple choice scenario:

 

You have a "momentum car" if you have wheelspin issues in:

A.2nd gear.

B.1st gear.

C.January

D. What is wheelspin?

 

Entitled weenie replaced the RX-8 with an S2000, and then a GTO, and probably still complained that he couldn't break the tires loose in 4th without a clutch kick.

 

Meanwhile, I replaced my 100hp Golf with something that was significantly slower...

I have no issues respecting horsepower.  I don't drive 1000 hp cars on the street, but I do enjoy being able to pick merge points in traffic and make them.  The praying not to be run over plan just doesn't work for me.  

Furious_E said:

Slowest I've ever driven was the 4 cylinder, 3 speed auto YJ my buddy owned for a while in college. Facing a stiff headwind or steep enough hill, 60 may or may not have even been possible. Terrifying to drive on the highway.

Sounds like a friend's 4 cyl (the later EFI version) YJ with a 5sp and 33s on it.  When we've traveled on the highway, he sets the pace, as cruise control is usually just WOT.  I've seen it do a little better than 75.  Once...  Going downhill...  We've climbed plenty of hills at 60-something with him in 3rd gear, wide open.  Going down a highway on ramp behind him with him running it up though every gear wide open to near redline left me in my Jeep keeping pace without exceeding 2000 RPM...

Slowest would be the non running 75 Stingray in the garage in jackstands.

In reply to rslifkin :

Lol, yup, highway "cruising" was foot to the floor and pray you didn't get run over. Between the lack of ability to maintain a resonable speed and the migraine inducing resonance created by the soft top flapping, any highway trips over about half an hour were a serious test of will power. His was a 94 IIRC, so fuel injected as well. It was down to like 60% of its original compression, though.

Totally unkillable, though. The transmission injested a bunch of water one time when the vent line got submerged during a river crossing, and it slipped and squeeled like a pig for 2 or 3 days afterwards. We thought it was toast for sure, but lo and behold it somehow righted itself and went right back to normal operation. What an endearing piece of complete E36 M3 that thing was.

My slowest is the 1930 Ford Model A, with stock 24 hp 3.3L I4. Supposedly it can do 60, but I don't have the cajones....

my 99 430k mile land cruiser is supposedly a 9.4 sec 0-60

NOHOME said:

MGB

Passenger manning the stopwatch

I have a Spitfire with a emissions-era 1500, so I have the same passenger.  My '72 GT6 isn't much better as while the 2L straight 6 has more power, the 3.27 rear end gearing leaves the acceleration something to be desired.  The 1800ES with a 2L 4 is about the same. Then there's the 1992 E-350 with a 7.3L IDI (N/A, non-turbo) diesel.  Like the OP's RV, it'll get to highway speeds and cruise comfortably there, but the time to get there is measured with a sun-dial.  2003 TDI with 90 HP (300+K miles ago...).  Same.  Even my R53 JCW is not exactly a real speedster.  Most modern sedans could beat it in 0-60. Hell, I'm not sure it could beat my 2017 GC minivan.

I own a lot of slow cars... but to be honest, that is intentional. 

I don't know if wheel-spin is a good indication of power. My TDI will easily spin the tires into 2nd gear if I try, but 90 HP is still 90 HP.  Spinning the tires going into 2nd at 30 MPH doesn't mean much.

My 15 Versa Note is 0-60 in a day..!

Well, I would say it would have to be my Dodge Raider.

Though to be honest, both my e30 and my Porsche 924S could easily get smoked by any modern minivan (or by my Sequoia, or my wife's CX-9)