So I'm about six months in...

In reply to nicksta43:

Wait, it doesn't impact your budget, your household space, or your couples time and she still has a problem with it? Again I say, kind sir, that she can blow that noise. 5 or 6 cars in the first 2 years followed by 5 or 6 in the last NINE?!? The average GRMer probably does 5-6 a year... Dude, you are giving up a major part of your life that isn't even remotely impacting her. Is SHE giving anything up for 5 years?

To the OP: Dude, I'm married, happily, going on 19 years. I don't go through projects like some of you guys on here, but I'm always working on something.
She doesn't get it either, but she lets me be me. I don't get certain things about her either. I let her be her. We share a joint bank account for EVERYTHING. We don't make a ton of money but we do ok because we're pretty careful with the stuff that just wastes money.

We both have enough respect for the other that we know not to do anything that will financially harm our family situation. That's what I don't get. How can you marry somebody without knowing they will respect who you are and what you like to do, and trust you enough to just get on with life?

You're giving up 5-10% of your entire life not doing the thing that you really want to be doing, so what are you getting in return for this sacrifice?

That Bob Costas must be GREAT.

I do not buy cars all that often.. I generally keep my daily at least 6 to 8 years and projects hang around indefinity, but I am not sure I could survive 5 years without buying a car

The best I can come up with is, I guess to keep on being married and still get to keep all my originally installed equipment? Seriously, she's not that bad and we have a great marriage. I always had trouble understanding her resentment of my hobby. And am equally having trouble defending her ban. And yes even free is on the banned list. And that includes bicycles because she knows I want to build a motorized one.

In reality I don't have the time for a project now and with a large increase in living expenses beyond our control on the horizon, it's going to take a bite out of the play money. I'm OK with taking a step back for a while, enjoying the bike and maybe even finish that long bow project I started a while ago.

What I want to do is actually have a build plan laid out, with a budget lined up, before I just jump on the first Craigslist find that strikes my fancy. Then trying to compromise build the car to fit all the different things I want to do on a shoestring budget.

Unless I win the lottery I don't see us having the money for an autox car, rallyx car, classic cruiser, hpde car and a budget supercar. And one car can not do all the things I want to do. Hell, it might take me five years to figure out what I would rather do. I mean I want to do it all but that's not going to happen.

If I drug another rusty, non running hulk home tomorrow she's not going to leave me. I'll get called all the names you can think of and she'd be mad for a while but she'd get over it and have something to bitch about to her friends for a while. That's about it.

Wow, what did you do to land yourself in this position?! There has to be more to this story.

No bans at my house and there never will be! But then again, I always was and always will be the buying/building/selling hack mechanic.

Just checkin' to see how you are holding up. 2 years in and 3 to go.

Bruce

nicksta43 wrote: It's actually being in the possession of anything that has wheels, powered or not, anything that floats powered or not and anything that fly's powered or not. You see I have this problem....

How do you do with horses?

So!! 3 years in! Is this still a thing? Should we work out some code to have a special...something ready to go?

Bruce

It seems this system has a single point of failure. Change the woman and the rest is clean slate.

Whoa, this being resurrected got by me somehow.

I lost the company vehicle with the layoff so only have the bike now. I haven't bought/traded/found on the side of the road any vehicles. It looks like maybe some time next summer...maybe. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard. I still don't know what I want. I still want all the things I mentioned in the first post.

I feel older. Not just physically but mentally. Almost like I have sort of given up. I've made a few upgrades to the motorcycle, made a rack/sissybar from scratch/ adapted some cheap horse saddle bags for use on the bike. Just enough to keep all my creativity from dying away. I also bought and rebuilt a very cheap bicycle https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/sprockets/introducing-the-junky-green-bicycle-build/104988/page1/ That's about it as far as projects go. I've just been patiently waiting. I feel like I put my life on hold and have just been sitting around listening for the beep so I can resume it.

In reply to Nick (LUCAS) Comstock:

I admire your fortitude, but you don't sound like you are coming to a healthier place in life.

What are you hoping for again out of this?

This doesn't sound like "patiently waiting". It sounds like "desperately lacking".

Is this positively benefiting your marriage? I really hope so. As a "forum friend", this has been kinda hard to watch.

You sounded happier on page 1 and 2.

SVreX wrote: In reply to Nick (LUCAS) Comstock: I admire your fortitude, but you don't sound like you are coming to a healthier place in life. What are you hoping for again out of this? This doesn't sound like "patiently waiting". It sounds like "desperately lacking". Is this positively benefiting your marriage? I really hope so. As a "forum friend", this has been kinda hard to watch. You sounded happier on page 1 and 2.

I agree with most of this. I am no way to judge character but....idk. i feel like somethings a bit....off.

I just re-read the whole thread and couldn't quite figure something out-What real, logically considered problem, in your combined married life, was your giving up cars fixing?

Why would one spouse want to tell the other they can't do something that brings them joy as long as it's not hurting them financially and isn't taking up to much time from the relationship?

But what do I know, it took me 3 times down the isle to get it right.

Life is such a precious thing. A person never knows how many years he or she will get to live and enjoy it. I can't imagine having to give up something that you enjoy like that. If it doesn't impact the day to day mechanics of paying the bills and keeping shoes on the kids' feet, what does it hurt to play with cars?

I made it very clear to my wife for two full years prior to marriage that I am a car guy and will be a car guy until I am physically no longer able to do so. I told her some deals I'd win on and some I'd lose on, but there would always be a string on never ending car adventures in our lives. In return, I'd never set foot in a bar, drink to excess, or spend extended amounts of time away from home.

I've gone a year without doing any sort of car-related projects. Sure, I've done a few oil changes, but that is it. I've been busy doing various house projects mostly. I'm nearing the end of a major office remodel and then I have a number of other house projects lined up to do. Even though it's been a year off of car projects for me, I really can't imagine being forced into a car ban. Mine sorta happened organically because there are only so many hours in the day and I've chosen to do other things with my time. I don't think I would handle an imposed ban very well. Hang in there Nick. By the way, what happens at the 5 year point? You go back to working on cars and she goes back to not liking it? Does she think that after a 5 year drought you will be cured and not go back to it?

I was hoping to see a project car six months in. Instead I have read a tale of automotive sadness that lasts literally years.

I had an ex that didn't get it either, as our relationship progressed I stepped further and further away from my passion for all things automotive.it was almost as if she was jealous of my love of cars.

We were engaged and instead of building my project car of 10 years so I could drive us off after our wedding she wanted to sell it, and buy fancier invitations or something.

We never got married. I'm soooooo glad I didn't sell my car.

To attempt to answer in line with your first post from 2013 I have been hankering for an 1988 c4 vette and managed to snag a running car for 1500 bucks.I might swap its 350 in my firebird and do an LS swap in the C4.

I say drag home that random project youve been lusting over and let her complain to her friends. Life is too short not to pursue our passions. You be you.

Past 2 months my main transportation has been my BMX bike. It's been sort of nice. I borrow my girlfriends Scion when she's home from work and not using it. I don't think she likes my current project car, but that's not for me to even think about.

I need to compose my thoughts on this subject. It's hard to wrap my head around the whole thing. I've been down recently, but I don't know how much of it is related to this of just life in general.

Nick (LUCAS) Comstock wrote: I need to compose my thoughts on this subject. It's hard to wrap my head around the whole thing. I've been down recently, but I don't know how much of it is related to this of just life in general.

I can recommend giving some time to reflect. It's important to sort things out and find out what's getting you down. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and spent the last 2 years of it trying to think if she's making me miserable or if I'm just a miserable person.

Just thought I would joggle your elbow. An opportunity will be opening up soon and will you be ready for it? Maybe stash a little money every week and check what is out there. It is more fun to jump into a passion with a bit of money and knowledge.

You may find that you want a weekender Miata or dive full tilt into a Bonneville campaign for the world record on a Cushman (73mph).

Just remember that you have the full backing of this bunch of unrepentant enablers to talk you into trying stuff that we don't have the balls to try ourselves.

Bruce

Wow......when I told the gf I was getting back into cars and buying a project to do the challenge with she was happy, in fact she actually found the car for me. And she's coming down to Gainesville with me.

5 years is insane plus.....all of this sounds an awful lot like a mixture of control and not getting you as a person imho. If I had a gf/wife tell me I couldn't do what I loved...she wouldn't be around anymore

Nick:

Almost sounds like you and the wife-unit are trying to deal with a manic personality that was manifested in serial car projects. How would you describe your past internal combustion history?

I also was hoping to read that you were now six months into a project after the ban was lifted.