We are all flawed. I would try not to worry about all the ways you may not be able to give the young man what he needs. Give him what you can and what feels right to you. You will both be better off for it.
We are all flawed. I would try not to worry about all the ways you may not be able to give the young man what he needs. Give him what you can and what feels right to you. You will both be better off for it.
If you don't think you can be a mentor, just be a friend. I'm still just a kid (graduated from college for the first time this year), but growing up I would lurk on the GRM forums, go to cruise nights and car meets whenever I could and just tried to meet people who knew more about life and my hobby than I did. I wouldn't say any of them were really my mentors, but a lot of them were friends who saw a kid with a dream and a good attitude and knew we could talk about the same stuff. It sounds like the kid you ran into just needs someone in his life to hang out with while doing car stuff and talking about life. I know there's a big age gap, but is he really that much different than anyone on this forum?
In reply to Cooter :
Nothing personal taken.
You filled in a few details there that change a few things. The main message I guess I would try to say (or amend my previous statement to) is that "perfection is the enemy of good enough". If you obsess about being a perfect father figure / role model / etc, it may hinder your efforts if you choose to take that road. I recently became a father, its kind of the mantra I have to repeat to myself all the time to keep myself from locking up in analysis paralysis, "am I doing this right or well enough?". A lot of what you are typing is easy to read that you are feeling a touch overwhelmed by it (please forgive if I'm wrong). Additionally, I've been on the other side of that coin growing up having lost my dad. It sounds like you have a better handle on this than you may feel like you do. I guess I am just trying to say, go easy, you got this.
You are a great person, even for the amount of consideration you are giving this. We all have our mileage from our journeys, time will tell, but I hope it turns out to help you with yours too.
Just the fact that you are taking it seriously in my book makes you a great person!!!
j_tso said:That's right.
It was 180SX in Japan because it came with a 1.8L engine.
240SX in America because of the 2.4L engine.
200SX in the UK because it got the 1.8L engine. oh dammit
So did OP's neighbor import the 180SX from Japan? Seems like the elephant in the room. If I had a neighbor who knew how to import cars from Japan, I think I'd want him to be my mentor.
In reply to b13990 :
Good chance he found it in the US already. I'm sure quite a few have been imported by this point.
Also it was 180sx orginally because of the CA18. 200SX from the 2 liter SR20. Now of course most markets still called them 180s after the SR20 so I'm probably wrong.
In reply to Daylan C :
OK, thanks for walking me through this. I'm not much of a Nissan expert. Probably not much of an expert at anything.
In reply to b13990 :
It's just one of the useless facts i picked up from Gran Turismo.
b13990 said:j_tso said:That's right.
It was 180SX in Japan because it came with a 1.8L engine.
240SX in America because of the 2.4L engine.
200SX in the UK because it got the 1.8L engine. oh dammit
So did OP's neighbor import the 180SX from Japan? Seems like the elephant in the room. If I had a neighbor who knew how to import cars from Japan, I think I'd want him to be my mentor.
lot of places importing them.
Daylan C said:In reply to b13990 :
It's just one of the useless facts i picked up from Gran Turismo.
Gran Turismo 2 is the reason I know about and want to own a Sileighty.
MrChaos said:b13990 said:j_tso said:That's right.
It was 180SX in Japan because it came with a 1.8L engine.
240SX in America because of the 2.4L engine.
200SX in the UK because it got the 1.8L engine. oh dammit
So did OP's neighbor import the 180SX from Japan? Seems like the elephant in the room. If I had a neighbor who knew how to import cars from Japan, I think I'd want him to be my mentor.
lot of places importing them.
He used a broker.
Daylan C said:In reply to b13990 :
Also it was 180sx orginally because of the CA18. 200SX from the 2 liter SR20. Now of course most markets still called them 180s after the SR20 so I'm probably wrong.
I think it was backward from that if i remember right, the 180sx had the sr20 and the 200sx had the ca18, i know it makes total sense that it should be the other way around but for whatever reason it was backward.
In reply to edizzle89 :
I'm actually not sure there was system at all because I know for a fact CA18 powered 180SXs exist in some countries but I don't think I've seen a 200sx with either engine outside of the UK.
and I'm sorry, Cooter, it seems I've derailed this thread a bit with nothing meaningful to add.
I had a deep thoughtful response typed up a couple times but couldn't bring myself to post either one. I will say that I agree with most of the others here.
Man, you are in quite the situation. Life has a weird way of pairing people up when you least expect it.
I hear where you are coming from on the "crush conversation" comment; I've been on the other end of that before!
My situation as a kid wasn't nearly as bad as others, and my dad was interested in cars, but by the time I came around, his "cool car" days were over and done (until last week, but that's detailed in another thread). My mom worked with a lady that became a close family friend, and her husband restored old cars. He was younger and "more hip" than my dad, listened to Heavy Metal, and wrenched on Studebakers, AMC's, and the occasional GM or Mopar muscle car. As a young kid, this dude was my idol. He was living the dream! I hung around his backyard shop every chance I could and absorbed knowledge like a sponge, trying to stay out of the way. He even helped me with my 1st motor swap: replacing the grenaded 5hp Tecumseh with a larger 6.5hp Snow King from an old snowblower on my go-kart. He was like the older brother I always wanted.
By the time I started driving, he and his wife had packed up and moved away to be closer to his ailing dad across the country. This sucked, but I had already set down the path of becoming my own gearhead. I learned everything I needed to know to be dangerous from him.
Years later through social media, we made contact again. He had changed. He hated the way I turned out. You see, he HATES anything that's not made in the "old days" and hated that I was having fun driving and modding a modern car with a computer. Even my older, carbed stuff was "too new" and wasn't good enough. He let that disdain for modernity seep into every fiber of his being, letting anger govern him. The young, hip guy I knew was dead, replaced with an old, angry husk of a man, pointing the blame and "downfall" of modern society at people like me. I drew the line, and decided to limit my contact to just talking about old stuff until I had to cut him out altogether. It hurt, but it was necessary.
In your case, I see the reverse. Even though this kid is looking for some sort of validation, you need to set a limit of how deep you are willing to go in this "relationship" and draw the line when it comes time. For now, just stick to the cars, and try to teach each other something about them. 
Glad you're looking into it, I could see where it would be a bit uncomfortable though.
Hit up Speedhunters if you want a crash course in JDM cool 180/240sx cool.
I could probably also give you access to my digital back catalog of Superstreet when if you want to go full JDMyo! They're more a culture mag than a technical mag but they have some okay stuff sometimes.
DSport has been pretty impressive over the last 4 years morphing from a teenage boys JDM fantasy to a pretty cool tech magazine. It's become kind of a This Old House for 90's and 2000's Japanese cars. When I picked it up last they were documenting a 1000 HP B18 build.
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