Maniac0301 said:
About a decade ago I had my world rocked when I was given "the talk" that a black friend gave to his 10 year old son about working with law enforcement. It was not in response to current events things were relatively quiet in the early 2010s. it was just me and him talking as friends and parents. He explained the need and why he felt that it was best for his son to not stand up for his rights when being confronted, the risks were too great.
I was taught to stand up for my rights to respectfully ask questions and I am entitled to certain answers. This is not the lived experience of black America. This talk is not an uncommon thing it is incredibly widespread and it is a survival tactic. We should not consider ourselves a free country when a sizable portion of the US has to tell their middle schoolers how best not to get shot by law enforcement.
When the talk was explained to me I was incredibly incredulous and figured he just had heard a couple bad stories and was being overprotective like most parents do. As the years went on I learned more and more why it was needed and how common it is. I'm fairly open minded but even so I did not like my world being moved that much in one conversation and I rejected his and generations of his families lived experience. I was wrong to do so.
I'm always surprised when I hear people that didn't get a similar talk at some point from their parents, regardless of their skin color. I don't know for sure that the talk I got was the same as the talk that your friend gave his kids, but I'd imagine there are some similarities.
When I was a very white, clean cut, 15 year old honor student, my whiter than white mother sat me down and had a talk about interacting with police, specifically during a traffic stop. It went something like "If you ever get pulled over, (or have other interaction with the police) try to understand that the officer is likely on edge a little just interacting with you. They're trained to be suspicious and capable of deadly force, so don't do anything that might raise suspicion or set off alarms like sudden movements. Don't give them a reason to be suspicious or escalate the situation. Do what you can to lower their tension level with the following:
If possible, get to a spot that's safe for both you and the officer.
Have your license and papers ready by the time the officer approaches.
If it's dark, turn your dome light on.
Keep your hands on the wheel at all times.
Answer any questions politely and directly.
If you have to remove your hands from the wheel to reach for anything, explain what you're doing to the officer first and let him give you permission.
Try to speak clearly and calmly.
Do your best to remain calm and avoid escalation or confrontation."
Is this not a common type of discussion between parents and kids/teenagers? We lived in a safe, working class suburb and I feel like I still got "the Talk" or at least a version of it.