Kreb (Forum Supporter) said:
So my son is flush with money for the first time and instead of the small, fun sort of car or truck that I want him to buy, he's looking at used Hyundai Genesis - circa 2017, circa $17,000. I tell him that they are great cars, but....
-More expensive stuff to break
-Higher insurance rates
-It's a big car and we live in the city, so he's likely to scrape the thing up, being pretty new to driving
-His co-workers are likely to resent this sort of luxury in a guy low on the totem pole. Hell, I'm going to resent him given that he still lives with us!
Please help me out here.
The first two, I can see an argument, but his choice.
The second two are squarely all him. If he wants to spend money on a big car and smack it up, or if he wants to get criticized or scrutinized for his luxo car, that's a lesson he needs to learn. I make $35k/yr, I have a mortgage, pay my own insurance, and work for a non-profit arts organization, so I'm by no means rich. I'm shopping for a Jag XJR. Similar situation. The board (my employers) are all rich folks who drive big luxo Mercedes, Jags, and BMWs. I give zero berkeleys what they think. In fact, it's a bit of a coup. I'll be driving a car that looks like it's in their class, but I will have paid $7000 cash while they paid $130k.
I am not a parent, so please don't mistake this for parenting advice. I have no idea what to say there because I know you are just invested in the happiness and future of your child. I will say (having been a young adult before and a current student of clinical psychology) that for my personality, I learned next to nothing when I followed my parents' advice when they told me "this action will make that response." I always learned when I was able to connect my own choices to the result. I'm 46 and still UN learning old beliefs that I had blindly accepted from others.
Again... not advice, just a psychology student rambling a bit. I would give the same advice if this were a child, a co-worker, friend, uncle, or random stranger. You, personally, might be more sensitive to a dented car, or assumptions that coworkers place on your choice of vehicles. I think that is more something for your son. He will either A) find out the hard way that people scrutinize, B) not care if people scruntinize, C) realize that body work it expensive, D) figure out how to be a more conscious driver, etc.
Either way, I think as a parent/friend/whatever, you would be wise to impart your advice. At least that way, you can say "told you so" instead of THEM saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME??!!"