The 'I Win At Life' Thread

one more....

after spending a weekend stripping and refinishing some JDM Enkei wheels, getting new tires mounted, etc.....I stood one up while I rolled another one out to the car. The first wheel, on the very slight slope of my garage floor, rolled out, down the driveway, and promptly fell over on the spokes whlie at the same time drilling curb across the street at about 40mph, resulting in a professional shop charging me $100 to fix the major gashes in the spokes.

only felt better 2 days later as my neighbor left his Mustang in neutral in the garage, and it rolled down HIS driveway and t-boned the car parked on the opposite curb. That was a much larger fail.

oh crap, reminds me of one last one.

Years ago I pull into a Kinkos. Parked right in front of the front door on a slight uphill. Went inside. Came out 10 minutes late and car is gone. Look to my left. Car, with steering wheel still locked in hard right turn, had coasted back, turned and ended up halfway down the lot, while missing the M3 and the large pickup truck parked across the way by mere inches.

The worst part was that in a busy parking lot, nobody seems to have noticed that my car ened up right in the middle of it. Nobody came in to ask who the idiot was. Nobody was looking at the car. Nothign. I jsut got in and drove away, lol..

Just finished mounting my panasports, long wheel bolts and spacers on my E30. The thing looked stupid hot but a test drive revealed a slight rub from a too long lug bolt. After fixing the offending fastener with a little bit of grinder action I mounted the wheel back up and started spinning it by hand to check for interference. Got it spinning at a pretty good rate when my finger slipped between a spoke and the caliper. Broke the tip of my right ring finger clean off. It was only held on by a 1/8" of skin.

Docs just stitched it back on and other than a funny looking fingernail it seems just fine.

Finished my first head swap ever in my rally car many years ago. Had the entire team at my house waiting to put it on the trailer and head off 2 states over for an event. Turned the motor over and watched coolant and oil gush everywhere. I learned the most properly torqued head bolts won't hold the head down when the bolt are longer than the holes are deep. I also learned there are 2 different head bolts from the dealer.

Showing my little brother how easy it was to do a brake job. We finished up and feeling good about a job that had no issues, we go to bed in the pads. First quick stop I watch both of the front hub caps continue down the road in front of us. It was my first time working with pop in hib caps and I got it really wrong.

No offence to anyone but this thread can really cheer someone up.

I bought an 85 gti soon after I blew up the transmission and clutch... I had trouble getting it into first and second was almost completely stripped. I was starting on a hill and it would not go into first so I figured I'd just start in third so I gave it gas and let the clutch out a bit to quick and it was the one time I found first....that's all it took. On pushing it back with a friend I turned down the wrong hill and got it stuck at the bottom of the hill 5 min from the owners house. Felt bad and it was super cheap so I bought it, a friend towed it to a place where I fitted another trans and clutch disc as the pressure plate looked great and I was told was new. On the way back from the 20 min test drive the clutch seized up and wouldn't release. Started it in first with the starter motoring the car, got it half way to where I could work on it and hit a red light. Few days later got it push started by slamming gears, got it to our fsae garage parking lot where I couldn't figure it out. Forgot to pay parking, got it towed, went to pick it up with my dad and his truck and the fsae trailer, forgot the key, had it towed to my new place, they turned it away before I got there, finally got it delivered in a parking lot where I loaded it up and begged a friend for driveway space. Two weeks of pulling the trans 2 or 3 times spending every day after work till 10pm when the sun set(longest days of the year). Realized the pressure plate was bunk and it drove great. Many lessons learned.

Motor oil into the brake system of a buddy's GTI. He grabbed the wrong yellow bottle

Replacing rear shocks on new to me LS400. Read the tutorials online, but still fought that thing for HOURS trying to push the arm down enough to clear the bottom of the shock. It was late, I was burnt, took a angle grinder to the spring, took the whole assembly out and threw the wheel back on and left it slammed so I could sleep on it. Next day tried lifting the arm on the other side (like the tutorials said) and what do you know, clears the axle like butter and takes me less than no time.

Recently: Been getting a funny feeling while driving my IS300 DD, rear right tire would squeal and chirp on (really) low speed turns here an there. Kept driving it for who knows how many days whilst trying to brainstorm what the prob could be, trying to find time to look at it. The other day went to check my tire pressure, doh 15psi on my pretty damn new DWS Continentals. Fat screw lodged in there. Hopefully I didn't damage it driving so low on pressure.

Was replacing the e brakes in my Expedition and found that the trailing arms were rusted to the point that replacement with Swiss cheese would have been an upgrade. Had to make the parts. Just as I finished a GRM staff member pointed out where I can get them for a really good price.

Back in about 1998, my 16v GTI's transmission was shifting a little rough. I was inexperienced with cars so I queried the 16v GTI listserv about it. Someone suggested it might be low on oil. I opened the trans fluid fill hole looking for a dipstick. Dipstick was absent. I reported back to the list, asking why there was no dipstick under the plastic cap. How the heck do I know how much to put in there?

Someone told me there was no dipstick, just fill it 'till it starts to leak back out. Ooookay. So I dumped in a ton of Redline MTL (I heard it was the best) until I saw it leaking onto the ground. Success! Went back inside to get changed so I could go test drive it.

On the way out the door, I opened my email to report back to the list. A slightly more experienced VW owner had already emailed me asking WHAT plastic cap I was talking about? The transmission fill hole plug isn't plastic. There's only one plastic cap on the transmission...

OH. berkeley. ME.

The "fill hole" was actually the timing check hole. I'd poured 1.5 liters of oil directly on my 2 month old clutch.

Sigh.

Some of the stories reminded me of another. My DD was low on washer fluid, so I went to the Target across the street from my apartment complex to get a refill bottle. It was winter, so I figured I'd get the super-duper orange stuff with the de-icer in it. I went back and forth between two bottles of the orange stuff, picked one, and filled up the reservoir.

After filling up the reservoir, I took a closer look at the bottle. Sure enough, it was commercial de-icer for sidewalks, which was meant to be diluted something like 40:1. Some idiot put the two next to each other on the same shelf in Target, and I was a fool for picking it up. So, I ran out to the auto parts store, picked up some fuel line hose, and siphoned all the junk out. Now I always read the bottle carefully before adding fluids!

What a mess that would have been, I'm sure it would have eaten right through the clearcoat had I ever used it. That stuff is nasty!

My niece had abused her 2003 Honda for a couple of years and it finally died due to never changing or even checking the oil and a bearing in on the cam seized and broke the cam.

Evaluation says not worth fixing and the "Tote the Note" guy who actually owns it due to no payments in about a year comes to get it and just hands us the title and says it is not worth his time to tow it for scrap.

Craigslist ad for parts or whole car are wildly unsuccessful and we haul it to scrap.

ONE day later, a nephew arrives with his trusty, you guessed it, 2003 Honda needing a radiator, exhaust manifold, drivers window motor and front bumper.

Guess which car at the scrap yard just happen to have ALL the parts we needed? Cost $80 more than we got for scrap!

Bruce

z31maniac wrote: I got all excited about getting Sport brakes for the (new to me) 1990 Miata I plan on turning into an HPDE car. Then realized the 14" stock wheels that have fresh tires on them, that would be on for the commute to the track, won't fit over the brakes.

Many 15s won't fit, either. Specifically, the 15s that i actually LIKE. So.. i won't be rocking 15s on my Mazdaspeed Miata.

Is this winning at life? Or just "White People Problems?"

Was just shining up the triumph daytona to sell it this summer. Got it all spiffed up, looking great. Took it around the block to make sure everything was working. When I got back, promptly dropped it on the right side. Snapped the brake lever, cracked the lower fairing and broke a chunk off the upper fairing. Replacement parts list for over $700, not to mention knocking off some resale value. Good news was the brake lever interchanges with a cheap yamaha one ($18.95 instead of the $109.00 triumph part) and I bought a Harbor Freight plastic welding kit.

I built a functioning, locking, somewhat stock and professional looking hatch completely out of Lexan for our first Challenge car. While cleaning up the car the day before we left for Gainesville, I noticed a little pea-sized boogeresque thing that wouldn't come off. I soaked a towel in Goof-off, and threw 20 hours or so of labor and $50 in materials in the garbage.

I bought my first motorcycle used from a private seller and no owner's manual. I knew NOTHING about bikes except that I wanted one. (You can imagine how happy my parents were) Anyway, I was tinkering with it while learning how to ride and one day it wouldn't start. It would kick over for a second and then stall. I took a flash light to check if it had gas and sure enough it did. After a week of messing with the carbs, ignition, and who-knows-what else my buddy asked me if I had switched to "reserve" on the fuel petcock. How was I to know there are two fuel pickups on a motorcycle??!!

Got away lucky with my ooops

old engine in my Corolla All-Trac was slapping around a bit. I spent time nd money rebuilding a stronger, better lump. I checked the oil pump carefully and then THOUGHT I had properly inserted the "E" clip in to hold the pressure relief valve. 9+hours later on start up... very little oil pressure....

pulled the pan and found all the parts to the pressure relief valve in the oil pan. I re-assembled and.....

Lucky part was I had use assembly lube on the engine, so the 1 min of run time w/o oil hadn't hurt the engine

Of course I never make this sort of mistake myself.....

But I do know of a couple of real boners made by friends.

Honda Civic owner fitting Konis to his car. Made the mistake of using the strut to hold the alloy top collar while he drilled it. Yup - drilled right through into the pressurized shock body. Did you know that a Koni will put out a pretty good stream of fluid when you drill it?

Friend rebuilding a Triumph GT-6 engine. Had the block on a stand and had fitted the crank he'd bought from the engine shop, and was trying to figure out why after he fitted the first piston, the assembly would no longer rotate. Absolutely hilarious from my point of view, standing on the head surface side while he toiled in the crankcase as he had obviously been given a longer stroke TR-6 crank and the piston popped out of the top, releasing a ring and locking the engine.

Final one (and a favourite) a fellow racer in a Porsche 914 had a brainstorm - hard to watch gauges when you are busy trying to stay on the track. Created demon tweak - hooked an oil pressure switch to his ignition so that if he ever had his oil pressure go away, it would cut the ignition and save his engine. Clearly forgot that with an improperly baffled pan or low oil level, the pressure would lag in every hard corner. Only took one corner until his demon tweak killed his engine right when he was all hung out at maximum in the middle of the corner. Result, Porsche buggering off backward into the bushes with mad scientist wracking his brains trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

My 240z, has brand new willwood brakes, coil overs with camber plates, CCW 17x12 and 17x11's with nearly new 710's, a fresh ballanced custom shortblock and has been sitting as a pile of parts for 3 years because I haven't found the time to deal with all the rust

Oh yeah... forgot the big one.

LOL I'M BUILDING AN ESCORT.

The first car I owned was a RWD coupe, had a LSD, and was sporting a V6 with tons of potential. I had that before I really was into automotive performance, and eventually blew up the transmission due to my my noob-itude. The car I owned when I became interested in Auto-sport was a sub 2 liter FWD econobox.

Selective memory has allowed me to forget most of my bone headed automotive screw ups.

I refuse to remind myself so as to protect my fragile sanity.

On a certain Galant VR-4, I had money, no lift and no clutch. So it went on a $200 flatbed ride to my friend's shop. New clutch, paid retail. Put it on the rack to check work a month later?? The ham fisted Hillary Clinton who worked on it broke the boots on my new axles and ball joints. Berkeley!!

Good news, they're lifetime axles. Bad news, I have to do them again. Ask me why I hate Nissan XTerras?? Because one massaged my back bumper a month later. Most Spectacular Failure for 2012?? Year's new. And I drive a Mitsubishi.

pulled Stag out of garage figured new gas and tuneup , could not get it to fire , all afternoon tinker train ................. figured jumped time . Chevy 350 . Spent all morning pulling radiator , pulley , fans . It has not jumped time must be in ignition somewhere . Well needed all new hoses and radiator fluid and busted knuckles

Had a 1970 Chevelle SS 396 daily driver back in the 80s when I was a poor college kid. Anyway, the thing leaked every fluid, so for "safety", I would carry a dry chemical extinguisher in the car where it lived on the passenger side floorboard. One cold morning, while the car was warming up, I needed to get out but the stupid driver's door handle was broken, so I had to get out on the passenger side. As I was getting back in on the passenger side, I closed the door and proceeded to climb into the driver's seat. My foot hit the fire extinguisher handle shooting the contents into the carpet (fortunately) and into the air. It's amazing how quickly all of the oxygen disappeared from inside of the car. Somehow I rolled down the driver's side window and crawled out of the car gasping for breath.

After spending most of the day getting the XR all prep'd for the auto-x, I frag'd the driveshaft that night while hooning it around in a parking lot.

In my formative years, I went to remove the non-functional A/C from the car to make room for a big FMIC. I cut into the first hardline and a lot of red goo came out. Then I had no power steering.

Changing out the clutch on my 96 Toyota Tacoma 4x4...by myself. Wrestled the trans and transfer case down, had flywheel machined, put it all back together after countless hours of manhandling and wrenching. Hopped into the truck to push the clutch pedal in, and it would not move an inch...rock solid. After checking everything I could think of, dropped the transfer case and the trans back out, checked the pressure plate, disk, throw out bearing, clutch fork, slave cylinder, etc. All looked good. Thought perhaps I had put the clutch fork in a bind somehow when installing. Put it back together again over another few nights of work. Hopped into the truck, UGHHH!!!, clutch pedal would not move. Long story short, the clutch kit I ordered had the wrong pressure plate in the right box. It bolted up great though. Had I taken 10 seconds to look at the pressure plate beside the old one before installing the first time, it would have been obvious. The brightside, the last time I put it all back together (3rd iteration) took only a third of the time compared to the first. By that time I could field strip and reassemble it blindfolded.

Double check those parts before installing.