Here's what I want. Something that doesn't suck to drive and can tow at least 4000lbs. Can be had certified used or used with extended warranty, 2012 or newer (depending on warranty), with less than 30k miles for around $25k(including warranty). Decent mileage would be nice but not a priority anything over 20mpg would be acceptable if the vehicle is good enough. Needs back seats for kids but they don't have to be outstanding.
So far my list includes:
BMW X1 xdrive 28i
2012 Jaguar XF with the 5.0 liter V8
Toyota Xrunner?
How often do you tow? Could the need be filled by spending 20k on a nice DD and 5k on a beater truck? Maybe a BMW 128 and the best GM full size truck/SUV you can find for 5k?
I was tempted to tell you the X1 sounds like a winner, when I realized you asked for a suburban warrior. I'm not sure that I know what that implies.
Tough enough to park next to the buggy corrals, with a cooling system that supports idling an hour each day in the carpool lane?
Urban warrior suggests something efficient, easy to park, and tough enough to avoid door dings. It should not be too gaudy or precious to park on a side street. It should have enough power to pass on heavily packed downtown freeways, and enough sidewall and suspension travel to not mind manhole covers, and potholes.
For urban warrior, the X1 sounds great.
I guess urban warrior. I work in Orlando but live about 40 minutes away. I spend equal time sitting on i-4 in traffic and doing 80mph on the turnpike. Towing duties would be occasional maybe a couple times a year basically towing my MR2 to rallycross events. The X1 is rated at 4400lbs (in Europe) towing with the proper equipment as long as the trailer has its own brakes.
Ah, my first thought was Buick Encore, but it turns out that it isn't rated for towing at all. Since I was already looking, the Buick Enclave does fit, but I don't know that it meets the "doesn't suck to drive" criteria. US towing capacity is 4500, and there is one within a hundred miles of me, that is a 2012 with 24,500 miles with an asking price around $26,500.
If you're basing this on European towing capacities, like you've done for the X1, that will open up quite a few options. European rated towing capacity are almost always significantly higher than the American rated towing capacity. For example, even though the RAV4 V6 with Tow-Prep-Package is rated for 3500 pounds here, I believe it too was rated closer to the 4500 pound range across the pond. A word of caution though, some OEM hitches (like for the RAV4 V6 TPP) are also significantly more robustly installed than aftermarket hitches, so that would also probably be the way to go if loading up towards the European tow ratings.
Toyota FJ? 6 speed manual.. 
I don't think any of those are rated to tow 4000lbs.
