Fact-checkin some names while proofing a future issue, and came across maybe the silliest marketese I've seen in a while.
The following nugget comes from the web description of the Bridgestone Potenza RE960AS Pole Position tire:
"3D Shape Improves handling response"
Well, 2 d would just suck, wouldn't it?
If you want flat handling there is no arguing the merits of 2D.
Is that Diseny 3D? or just the plan old fassioned 3D?
That sounds like just the kind of marketing speak that people I graduated with would spew...and yet, I am the one without a job in a firm...go figure...
(the people that came up with the googly-eyed money stack as a spokesperson for Geico make me ashamed of the fact that I graduated with a marketing degree.)
rant off.
I agree Maroon.. the money with the eyes is stupid.. should have never strayed from the Gecko.
In reply to mad_machine:
or the cavemen.. the cavemen rule.
novaderrik said: In reply to mad_machine: or the cavemen.. the cavemen rule.
Really? You must be the least common denominator that Geico was looking to market to...
In any dimension, the RE960AS is a pretty sweet tire.
MCarp22 wrote: In any dimension, the RE960AS is a pretty sweet tire.
Even in the 4th dimension?
Square, cube, tesseract, caveman, Miata.
In that order. 
Edit: Oh yeah.. a shotgun full of bacon.
mad_machine wrote: I agree Maroon.. the money with the eyes is stupid.. should have never strayed from the Gecko.
But you must admit, the song is catchy as hell! I'm humming it right now.
The 3D shape forges robust strategic partnerships with the equally 3D road surface, resulting in a synergy that combines best of breed technology with legacy pavement. This results in improved handling response. In these challenging market conditions, needs-based, uniform, cross-group customer loyalty will ensure long term success.
I've been thinking about trying those 960s on the Volvo, but... I dunno, I still like to think that having season-specific tires is preferable to having a tire that tries to do it all. You know, to cross-promote solution-oriented results, and stuff.
I love how they market crap like that... the conditioner I put on my hair says its made with "real satin." I suppose they were trying to jump on board the "silk proteins" the others were offering. The only problem is, Satin is made most commonly from Nylon or Polyester.
and those "silk proteins" they market? Silk proteins are hard, crystalline, and very much NOT something you want in your hair.
curtis73 wrote: ... the conditioner I put on my hair says its made with "real satin."
When I was a kid, my parents bought some conditioner from our neighbor, who was a beautician. I happened to be reading the ingredients one day and noticed it listed "human extracts". 
And of course, it was your typical white & creamy conditioner.
I never used it again. I also never bothered to tell my parents & they kept using it. Several months later, I noticed the manufacturer no longer listed it as an ingredient.
People who don't think about what they write are a large part of what keeps editors in business. Having said that, some people are farther down the Magic Path of Incoherence than others, such as the local business here that gleefully advertised its "Patio Door Blow-Out Sale!!" But my all-time favourite is the local mayor who decided to spend less on election signs one year by having his fellow local small-business owners express their support for him on their own signs. This led to the perfect moment when I was driving by and saw:
"Vote Bob Attersley!
Six Months No Interest!"
...and you can't put it more clearly than that.
petegossett wrote:curtis73 wrote: ... the conditioner I put on my hair says its made with "real satin."When I was a kid, my parents bought some conditioner from our neighbor, who was a beautician. I happened to be reading the ingredients one day and noticed it listed "human extracts".
It's PEEEEEPLE!
Those are the tires I run on Serenity. I feel a little ashamed now.
But MCarp22 is right, they are a pretty nice tire. Lugnut, I hear you about season-specific and agree, but in my situation genuine "Summer" tires are a no go with "at or near freezing conditions" occuring outside of legal studded snow tire season, Nov 1- Apr 30. Back to the tire, they are great in the rain as well.
In reply to Stealthtercel:
My Father-In-Law wanted to put a sign outside his drycleaners saying "Drop pants here for professional service"
His wife never approved the idea.
Shawn
We've got the heritage for the blind running billboards asking people to donate their cars - seems like a bad idea giving cars to blind people. 
Then again it does provide mobility solutions to the visually impaired.
oldtin wrote: We've got the heritage for the blind running billboards asking people to donate their cars - seems like a bad idea giving cars to blind people.
they've already got somewhere to park
I cant remember the jargon exactly, but theres a valvoline comercial out right now where they make fun of " the leading manufacturers " marketing of essentially "ZOMGharmonically activatorized engine damage reducifiers" or the like.
Its pretty funny
And for the record, I like the eyes that are always watching me...but I do sit in front of the tv for hours without nearly a single thought in my head breathing from my mouth while I drink beer from white cans with x's for a label 
4cylndrfury said: And for the record, I like the eyes that are always watching me...but I do sit in front of the tv for hours without nearly a single thought in my head breathing from my mouth while I drink beer from white cans with x's for a label
you would probably like Fox's new reality series too...its called "Oww, my balls!"
maroon92 wrote:4cylndrfury said: And for the record, I like the eyes that are always watching me...but I do sit in front of the tv for hours without nearly a single thought in my head breathing from my mouth while I drink beer from white cans with x's for a labelyou would probably like Fox's new reality series too...its called "Oww, my balls!"
I believe you're referring to the Violence Channel (rather than Fox News).
Clem
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