wife and autocrossing

Cool, I went to San Jose State, and my wife went to UCSC.I have been a resident of santa cruz for most of my life. I do have family up in Sacramento but I have never gone to an event up that way. I will drop you a PM if I manage to con my brother in law into an event (or if my resistance crumbles and I end up doing a track day)

PCA events are fun and pretty low key, I have run as a guest with the Loma Prieta Region and had a blast, too bad you need to have a Porsche to be a member...

Hmmm HDPE... at infineon.... or laguna... or T-Hill... must resist.. temptation... must.. hold... out.. for... miata... arggghhhh...

Actually, one of the cool things about all this is that it should make it easier to get a track car... Her instructor was mentioning that he might be putting his formula vee up for sale soon. Not exactly the miata I originally had in mind but I think I could live with it...

Salinas, I recommend the autocrosses put on by the Trinity Touring Club in Redding. I used to race with them when I still lived up there and they are great. Now they are selling used R-Compounds right at the track and have the tools to mount them for you right there. As a fun bonus, the guy that usually gets FTD drives a Bugeye Sprite with rx7 running gear.

Errrr. Guys,

One of the reasons why women, in this case wives or girl friends might be less than interested in car events like Auto-X, women in general have an emotional interest in what they do or get involved with. Yes, there are thrills and fun possible with driving a car to and past it's limits, but consider for a moment what kind of emotional attachment or relationship can a woman have with a car, or any car event like an Auto-X?

Then there is the Guy dominated event thing where women feel so intimidated and out of place in what is basically very male turf.

The situation could be quite different if there was a group of women out doing an Auto-X on their own without the feeling of male turf and competition thing.

It's takes a rather special wife or GF to support their dear hubby or BF at car events even if they are bored to tears. This is where a social group of other women at these events can make all the difference. And, this does not mean dragging your daughter along with your wife to an car event. The mother / daughter relationship adds a completely other aspect to the problem.

This is from my female point of view.....

Rupunzell said:It's takes a rather special wife or GF to support their dear hubby or BF at car events even if they are bored to tears.

I think you misunderstood the intent of my original post. If she is bored to tears I do not want her to come along or pretend to be interested. I am not interested in inflicting misery upon her.

The point is to have a fun activity that we can both enjoy. This is an activity I have long suspected that she would enjoy if she would get over her initial prejudice of it being a "boys" sport and give it a fair try.

when she did, she had a good time, much to her surprise I am sure.

And yes she is a very special woman.

Capt Slow wrote: I think you misunderstood the intent of my original post. If she is bored to tears I do not want her to come along or pretend to be interested. I am not interested in inflicting misery upon her.

WORD!!

Yeah, if she's bored than I'd rather her stay home. Car racing is fun. And she has had fun doing it. My hope is that she will become interested in autocross and other car related events because I am and I'd like to share that interest with her.

Rupunzell wrote: Then there is the Guy dominated event thing where women feel so intimidated and out of place in what is basically very male turf. The situation could be quite different if there was a group of women out doing an Auto-X on their own without the feeling of male turf and competition thing. This is from my female point of view.....

Noticed that with my G-F. She liked her first Track Day because it was run by a woman who took the time to talk to her. She liked the experience so much that she wants her next event to be one organized by the same lady. She liked drift because it was non-competitive. There were also more women at the drift event (hanging out or driving) than at most events.

When I met my wife (I suppose future wife would be more accurate, I was introduced to my wife at the altar), she had a Grand Cherokee that she called her "little car". Considering that her family is the sort that keeps an old F250 around as the errand-running truck, that was actually kinda accurate. She had a tendency to drive over curbs (the sidewalk kind, not the sort that's painted red and white) because she simply didn't pay attention.

Tomorrow she's driving her turbo Miata at a track day and she's my navigator on the Targa Newfoundland.

I'm not sure exactly how I got her to this point though. She hung around a few events and I gradually coaxed her into the driver's seat. A big stepping point came the first time she spun her car and we both started laughing.

I've never had any problems giving her instruction on track, nor has she ever had a problem taking it. Of course, it'll be the other way around when we're on the Targa :) Some couples can work together that way, I guess.

I do okay coaching my girlfriend driving. I think the trick is to constantly check with her that I'm not at the point where I'm bugging her. I usually limit my advice to calling out for her to be more aggressive on the throttle and brake later, and reminding her to use the whole track.

I can only speak in generalities never having met your wife or yourself. Relationships are not like fixing a car with a known broken part, they are much more complex than that.

Indeed, car stuff and events can be a source of sharing, fun and enjoyment for any couple, but like any relationship ask the question what will your dear wife get from these car events? Hubby might find running a car at a car event like an Auto_X is great fun then he projects this source of great fun towards his loving wife which might not see of feel the same about running a car at the Auto-X and he wonders why she is just not interested.

Consider how you feel when she takes you shopping for clothes? Which might be something she really enjoys doing (I do) and how you feel about going clothes shopping with her? Ever time I shop for clothes, is not uncommon to find a guy trailing along bored stiff unless she is shopping for undies.

It is not possible for me to give a blanket recommendation as to how you might help get your wife more interested or more motivated to attend car events with you. What is important is to understand the relationship and all involved with this. Her choices might not be logical from your point of view. Regardless, respect her decisions, views and feeling on this topic and you can both benefit in the long run :)

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Capt Slow wrote:

Rupunzell said:It's takes a rather special wife or GF to support their dear hubby or BF at car events even if they are bored to tears.

I think you misunderstood the intent of my original post. If she is bored to tears I do not want her to come along or pretend to be interested. I am not interested in inflicting misery upon her. The point is to have a fun activity that we can both enjoy. This is an activity I have long suspected that she would enjoy if she would get over her initial prejudice of it being a "boys" sport and give it a fair try. when she did, she had a good time, much to her surprise I am sure. And yes she is a very special woman.

We went autoXing yesterday, but my Wife didn't drive. She was kicking herself for not bringing her car after my first run. Woo Hoo!!!

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones - not only does my wife come with me to the track, she gets involved and enjoys it.

According to her, it works on many levels. The first one is that she knows how important this stuff is to me, so she enjoys watching me have fun. The second is that the group we started with was a low key group with a lot of nice people who took her under their wing and showed her what fun this stuff really is. We share this stuff - I freely acknowedge that without her help and support I wouldn't be able to turn a wheel, much less win three championships. Actually, WE won those championships.

She helps me run Tech, has run Grid by herself and even rides the wrecker with me at Summit (on a hot track at night). She also takes my lap times and tire pressures for every session. She helps me in the shop. She loads the rig up before we go away for the weekend. I won't go, heck CAN'T go to the track without her - she's that big a part of the team.

It's just part of appreciating each other. Before I met her gardening was right up there with having a root canal for me. But it's important to her, and that's all the reason I need to dig enthusiastically in the yard. Okay, that and I really like the peppers we've been getting out of the vegetable garden this year.

If you keep taking your sister's friend autocrossing, something tells me your wife will start tagging along as well.

In reply to Capt Slow:

I'd like nothing more than to get my wife into autocrossing. I took her on a fun run once in my CRX on a wet track. She was scared to death. When she got out she said - "I'll never do that again! I thought the car was going to roll over". That was a slow wet run. I told her nobody ever rolls a car while autocrossing. Then about two months later my buddy did. That didn't help my cause. OTOH, she pretty much lets me do anything I want, car-wise, so plusses and minuses I guess.

I was reading this and thought "Didn't I read something very similar a long time ago?" then looked at the recent August date and thought I was going crazy.

THEN, I saw the year.

I have been married for 14yrs. I have spent 30+ days a year at some kind of track instructing, driving, racing or just spectating. My kids have been camping there - my oldest races a kart occasionally for fun.

My wife has never been to a single event. Not one. My friends whom I only see at the race track call her the Snuffleupagus and doubt her existence. I don't know what to make of it but after 14yrs... I'm not asking anymore.

sachilles wrote:

Capt Slow wrote: Also since I was working when she was driving, I could not ride with her and tell her how to drive. This I think was a good thing...

This is a universal truth.

If I ever get my girlfriend out to an event where she is driving, I'm going to try real hard to find someone who needs a co-driver. I will make my best attempt to NOT be in the same car as her. Hopefully I could also get her a female mentor, shouldn't be too hard with the group I run with.

But I don't see Molly coming to drive for at least another 1-2 years. And thats being generous.

My wife gets motion sickness... any chance that she'll try it?

Holy undead thread batman!!!

RE: paanta, Which friend, I now have two of her buddies infected with the autocross bug (wife knows me too well to get jealous)

I like nothing better than bringing newbs to autocrosses. At this last autocross LMSCC autocross I had three people driving my miata, including my older brother (his first event), I just love seeing people bench race for the first time after their runs.

I have been bugging my wife to give it another go, since I want her to get some "emergency maneuvering practice" in on her focus, an on my miata, but she has made it pretty clear that although she finds the driving fun, she doesn't like working the course, so its not worth it to her to spend a day at the autocross.

As I am ramping up on the lemons car I have been doing more track time. After our last test day, I have been thinking that maybe I could get her into HPDEs since there is no work requirements...

paanta wrote: If you keep taking your sister's friend autocrossing, something tells me your wife will start tagging along as well.

Especially if she's cute and/or hot.

EDIT: I see from the above post your wife is not the jealous type.

scardeal wrote: My wife gets motion sickness... any chance that she'll try it?

She might.... There is a good chance she only gets sick when she's riding along. When she drives she might be okay.

I have taken a few people who get "car sick" for rides at autocrosses. I think between the large "Oh E36 M3" factor and the short run times, car sickness isn't typically an issue...

thankfully for me, my girlfriend is very open to at least trying the stuff I'm interested in, just so she can know something about the stuff that I love. I took her karting at VIR a few months back, and she REALLY impressed me. when I first started karting, after my first 30 minute session, I was at a 55.something on a 5/8 mile track, the fast guys were in the 46.something range. prior to that session, I had some simracing experience, so I knew more or less what to do when it comes to driving fast. in Kelly's first karting session, which was 15 minutes long (they changed the rates up and added a tirewall around the outside of T5/T6 (depending on whether you count the S-turns as 1 or 2 turns), making the track feel a bit narrower there even though that was the widest part of the track), she was down in the 51.something range. this was a girl who had no interest in racing, no interest in performance driving, who enjoys the sensation of speed but is sort of indifferent about feeling G-forces from acceleration or cornering. it took her 15 minutes in the kart to manage to go 4 seconds a lap FASTER than me, and my first best time took me twice as long to get. next session (I believe the next day), I told her that she needed to find the limit and go past it, just so she would know where the limit was. well, she spun her kart in T5/T6 (noticably off-camber hairpin with a downhill braking zone. it's a pain to get right), and when I went by her, she gave me a thumbs up and was probably grinning ear to ear (full face helmet, couldn't tell for sure). haven't gotten her out to an autocross yet, but I might have the opportunity to this september. should be interesting

any recommendations how to overcome that stupid "i'll be bad and get embarrassed" thing? my gf says that exactly and ive yet to find a rebuttal that works for it...

It took about six months to get my wife to an autocross. What a mistake that was. Now instead of just running up to an autocross for the day with my eldest son the entire family goes. Instead of two driver and eight runs on a car I end up four drivers and 16 runs plus fun runs, sometimes on one car. The tire bill has gone through the roof, and now they are blowing up stuff. When we leave the house for an autocross it is a major undertaking. Van, trailer, Abomination, used to be a RX-7 now a Camaro. Sometimes I have to check the air in 24 tires just to get out of the yard. Not to mention all the oil changes and brake bleeds and plug changes. Anything over two hours from the house used to require two trucks and trailers. You would think we are fielding a pro race team. After the Toyman family shows up the parking lot is half full. We get there early and help set up and leave late after helping pack it all up. What a long weekend.

I love every minuet of it. I get just as much enjoyment out of everyone else having fun as I do driving. There is a fair chance that a kart is in my future just so the younger boys can play too. What's another four tires to buy and air up. One more oil change can't hurt too bad.

I can't think of a better event to get the whole family involved in. What ever it takes, just do it.

I have got my gf to drive stick finally. And she only stalled it once because she didn't remember to release the parking brake. I like the TSD idea to get her involved more in cars.