Win something from my office!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen: it's office cleaning season!

Want something awesome from a GRMer's office? Then write a one-paragraph essay explaining why you deserve to have a free... something... mailed to you. We'll pick one winner every day at 5:00 pm Eastern time, until our offices are clean. Post your essays in this thread, any other means of submission will not count.

Good luck.

This is an awesome idea! I'm in on this as well. I've got a set of Powerflex Miata sway bar bushings that are doing nothing on my desk.

Why I deserve to have something free from GRM's offices, running an automotive education class for homeschoolers is reason enough and especially if they were recognized by a major publication with free swag it would motivate them even more than their love of cars. You could be influencing the next Ferdinand Porsche, Lee Iacocca, Harley Earl, or Ercole Spada.

What's the definition of "Paragraph" in this case? How many sentences/thoughts are required?

I deserve it because Kia. And Ginger. Since I have no soul you should have mercy on my... umm.... lack of soul?

In reply to Swank Force One:

No strict requirements, just make it convincing.

Tom Suddard wrote: In reply to Swank Force One: No strict requirements, just make it convincing.

I deserve things because of all the time i've put into this website. Just look at my post count!

I have no desire to have anything from your office. Unless your girlfriend

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.'s 318ti is in your office then I'll take that.

I deserve GRM swag because I'm delusional. Because I autocross, I think I'm a race driver. Because I'm a grad student, I think I'm going to cure HIV/AIDS. Because I have a camera, I think I'm a great photographer. Because I wrote this paragraph, I think I'm going to get an awesome care package from GRM!

That sum it up?

Also, if it's hilariously big, I have a commercial shipping address for my lab.

I'll play.

I believe I deserve a free... something... because your magazine infected me with a dangerous sickness. Before I contracted GRM Disease, I was content with going through my life as a regular car guy. I had a fun stable of cars: a pair of 1979 Pontiac Trans Am projects and a Subaru WRX daily driver. After attending the $2009 Challenge with some friends, my whole automotive outlook was turned upside down. Before that time, I had no idea that a Miata like the one we brought could go fast or that you could build a fun toy on an extreme budget. After returning home, my sickness in full swing, I found a car right on this forum (my 1987 Shelby CSX) and brought it home for the princely sum of $100. I sold one of the Trans Ams for this rusty heap, and I was somehow happy to do it. I then traded in my WRX on a "slow-car-fast" kind of ride: a 2012 Mazda 3. I also added a 2wd Dodge Dakota Sport to the mix because it was a cheap GRM-approved way to take garbage to the dump and do weekend errands. So now, I have 3 cars and one truck. 4 vehicles... 3 of them GRM friendly, and I am in a constant hunt for more cheap and weird vehicles and parts to such frequency that even SWMBO knows much of the GRM vernacular. Aside from the year of our wedding (2011, Challenge weekend was the wedding weekend) I have been to every $20xx Challenge since I first went in 2009, and I plan my entire year around it. Something is wrong with me. Send me something to ease my pain!

Sure, I'll play. I deserve to win something (miata parts) because I drank the kool-aid and drive a Miata. Miata is always the answer unless the question was what is the answer to life the universe and everything. In that case the answer is 42. So my Miata racing with the number 42 on it should be as close to perfect as anything can be.

Some guy just dumped a four hundred thousand kilometer Subaru on the local classifieds and the ad was basically entirely him bragging about how he overheated it, ran it low on oil, broke the axles, etc and it was still ticking. He then wanted an offer. I used to have a 97 Subaru in the exact same colour and trim. It was the best car I ever owned, and this one has wood panelling on the interior. Therefore, I sent him a remotely serious offer.

You should send me some free swag because I am not good with money, so any supplemental income will probably help as I dive into rescuing this turd of an econobox so I can rallycross it.

Dear GRM,

I do not want any refuse from your office whatsoever. Do not under any circumstances send me any cast-off, dust covered garbage that has cluttered your cubicles for years. No one, especially me, wants old marketing material from companies like CDW. Things like little Ferrari models with HP logos and/or bendable stick figurines from a Fahrvergnügen ad campaign that ended in 1995. Things that would normally just be shoved into an overflowing trash can for take-out by the cleaning service or given to a child to play with the day they arrived excepting for the few recipient-hoarders that place them on shelves to make themselves appear like useful members of a staff. Put them in the trash where they belong.

Thanks,

GPS

I deserve it because Miata.

Miata is always the answer

what about a ONE THOUSAND WORD essay? I call this one:

My Office NEEDS more stuff

I also would like to point out that as a homeschooling with four children and a SWMBO who travels for work, GRM is a major part of my adult interaction over the last couple of months. Ive been told that over the last couple of months I seem alot more stable.

I'd like to inform you on the matters of my entitlement to your aforementioned office-born miscellanea. Consider for a moment, that I am an astute young white man with a good job, great house, fine friends and a refined palette for wood-aged liquors of which I avail myself often. Now consider that the woman I love drives a Prius.

I await your correspondence and following here-so-far undescribed office gift. Adieu

If you don't send it to me, the puppy's done for...

Karacticus wrote: If you don't send it to me, the puppy's done for...

FTFY

Dear GRM:

I would appreciate an opportunity to own a surplus item from your inventory. Like the magazine's originators, I am a grassroots autocrosser. In addition to my own budget-driven campaign, I chair the autocross program for a local independent sports car club with a long history of auto sprints, gymkhanas, and road rallies dating back to the early '50s. Although numbers had been stagnant, over the last 2 years our outreach program has resulted in a 50% increase in competitor turnout. Many of these drivers are novices, and we strive to run a beginner-friendly program. Most autocross runs in my SSM Miata "tour bus" include a passenger who may be experiencing their first time at a driving competition. Therefore, any item that will improve the effectiveness of either my personal campaign or the Club's program will have a direct positive benefit in bringing new drivers into our world. Thank you for your consideration!

I never knew my real parents. My mother died during childbirth, and my father was never part of my life growing up. He was busy climbing the corporate ladder, expanding his empire or whatever. I apparently have a sister, but she went to live with another family when we were born. I grew up on my Uncle's farm. It was a hot and a lot of hard work, but it was an honest life and I was happy. Then, one day I was picking up an AMC Rebel and a Renault Alliance from some traveling scrap-car dealers and I got the surprise of my life! Trapped one of the cars was a message from GRM. The tip-in card was addressed to a Mr. Ken OBD-II and somehow I knew we were fated to meet. Like he somehow knew my father and my sister and had a hand in me coming to live with my uncle...weird right? Anyway, GRM was offering a lifetime subscription so I figured what the heck. I hacked together parts from both cars that I had bought, and will soon depart with the Rebel/Alliance on a quest. (I know, perhaps I could have picked Enterprise but I am not a fan of rentals) I think I am ready, but it just feels like I am missing something. Like I should have something hanging on my belt you know? I'm hoping GRM has something light that I can carry with me.

pinchvalve wrote: I never knew my real parents. My mother died during childbirth, and my father was never part of my life growing up. He was busy climbing the corporate ladder, expanding his empire or whatever. I apparently have a sister, but she went to live with another family when we were born. I grew up on my Uncle's farm. It was a hot and a lot of hard work, but it was an honest life and I was happy. Then, one day I was picking up an AMC Rebel and a Renault Alliance from some traveling scrap-car dealers and I got the surprise of my life! Trapped one of the cars was a message from GRM. The tip-in card was addressed to a Mr. Ken OBD-II and somehow I knew we were fated to meet. Like he somehow knew my father and my sister and had a hand in me coming to live with my uncle...weird right? Anyway, GRM was offering a lifetime subscription so I figured what the heck. I hacked together parts from both cars that I had bought, and will soon depart with the Rebel/Alliance on a quest. (I know, perhaps I could have picked Enterprise but I am not a fan of rentals) I think I am ready, but it just feels like I am missing something. Like I should have something hanging on my belt you know? I'm hoping GRM has something light that I can carry with me.

this. well done sir.

I'd like to enter in the form of Bill Murray

Also... I was born a poor black child...

Dear GRM,

You are my first source for knowledge and advice , whether it be car related or not. Many a time i will just google "GRM should I buy a miata?", "GRM when should i buy a miata?" , "GRM should i move across the country?" , "GRM teach me cast iron cookware" , "grm teach me engagement rings". This community has been a wealth of knowledge I wasn't looking for and many times too obscure to be of use to me. But I love this place all the same. I also easily spend half my time lurking on here when I should be working. So wouldnt it make you all warm and fuzzy to know that while your sitting at your soon to be less cluttered desk, I'll be procrastinating at my desk with some piece of swag from your desk.

In fact, that's just sounds super creepy. Can i just have some stickers to slap on my workstation?

In reply to pinchvalve:

You're instantly out of the running thanks to that Kia Rondo spamming awhile back......

Sincerely the GRM Poster's Union