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BAMF
BAMF Reader
8/31/12 4:36 p.m.

It's an old proverb that I hope is true. My wife and I have been married 10 months now, and I'd love for this bit of folk wisdom to go into effect for us.

We've lived together 4 years now, and did so quite splendidly until tying the knot. Of course, in the last year my wife finished her masters degree, a teaching certification program, and started a new career.

Anyone have amusing or horror stories about their first year of marriage?

carguy123
carguy123 PowerDork
8/31/12 4:37 p.m.
BAMF wrote: Anyone have amusing or horror stories about their first year of marriage?

You mean other than all the places and ways you had sex?

DoctorBlade
DoctorBlade SuperDork
8/31/12 4:43 p.m.

The first apartment, the first kid, the 8000 diapers....

Anti-stance
Anti-stance Dork
8/31/12 4:54 p.m.
BAMF wrote: Anyone have amusing or horror stories about their first year of marriage?

Yep, ended in divorce and haven't talked to her since. Life is better.

JohnInKansas
JohnInKansas HalfDork
8/31/12 5:08 p.m.

Not for me. 14 months and counting. We knew each other 7 years, dated for 4 years, lived 4000 miles apart for 6 months and 20 feet apart for 6 months before we got married. We've had our share of disagreements, but neither of us has slept on the couch or in the other bedroom since we tied the knot.

So, no, just what carguy123 said.

JohnRW1621
JohnRW1621 PowerDork
8/31/12 5:12 p.m.

We almost failed before the 3 year mark but now have made it to 9 years.

singleslammer
singleslammer Reader
8/31/12 5:15 p.m.

Well my wife's mom passed at month 10, so that was rough. Not really hard on our relationship but hard on us. The first year is not always the hardest, but that is relationship dependent.

J308
J308 Reader
8/31/12 5:15 p.m.
DoctorBlade wrote: The first apartment, the first kid, the 8000 diapers....

This.

The first year was cake compared to some of the other years.

The only easy day was yesterday, amirite?

carguy123
carguy123 PowerDork
8/31/12 5:22 p.m.
J308 wrote:
DoctorBlade wrote: The first apartment, the first kid, the 8000 diapers....
This. The first year was cake compared to some of the other years. The only easy day is tomorrow, amirite?

FIXED IT.

Just had my 43rd anniversary last week.

Cole_Trickle
Cole_Trickle HalfDork
8/31/12 5:26 p.m.

1st year was pretty easy. So have the other 2 since. All is well here.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker MegaDork
8/31/12 5:48 p.m.

17yrs so far... I'm still waiting for it to get easier. The secret is to travel a lot for work and when you can't, hide in the garage. Oh, also, never make eye contact.

Type Q
Type Q Dork
8/31/12 5:49 p.m.

My wife and I have been married for 19 years. The first year was a little tough but ended well. It was not hardest time period we ever had. Getting the call a couple of years ago that my was in an Emergency Room and waiting to be transferred to the ICU, that was tough.

ProDarwin
ProDarwin SuperDork
8/31/12 5:50 p.m.

Sometimes you have to wonder if the sex or companionship is worth it. Being single is really easy. Jesus I am lazy.

carguy123
carguy123 PowerDork
8/31/12 6:09 p.m.

When we got married it just wasn't done to live on your own as a single. You went to high school and then got married PERIOD. Maybe you went to college, but very few were single after their freshman years.

We knew nothing about anything when we got married. I knew how to cook a steak and a baked potato. She knew how to cook Swedish meatballs. There were any number of times that on the spur of the moment we tried to impersonate a great chef - WE FAILED MISERABLY!!

Those old jokes about eating the cooking with a smile no matter how bad it was are true. But on the bright side we determined that we really, really like to eat so we became great cooks.

We didn't know how to balance a check book. We had no idea what anything cost. We had no will power so there were days &/or weeks we got by on a dollar or less a day. There were many times we went home to eat with the parents because there was literally no food in the apartment.

I remember one time I went over to the laundry room at the apartment and when I came back I thought it would be neat to scare my wife. So I rang the doorbell and ran upstairs. It took a long time for her to answer but when she did I threw down the clothes basket and yelled. She literally turned into a basket case and fell on the floor sobbing.

When I got downstairs and apologized I found out that there'd been a scratching at the window so she thought I was outside trying to scare her (where'd she get such a far fetched idea?) So she'd removed her top and then went to the windows and threw back the drapes.

It was a window peeper.

So when I rang the doorbell...............

SillyImportRacer
SillyImportRacer HalfDork
8/31/12 6:24 p.m.

With the correct woman, it's all fairly easy. With the wrong one....not so much. My 1st wife & I argued daily, or at least it seemed like it. My 2nd wife & I stopped talking for some reason. I still don't know why. My last wife & I have had 2 arguments in 5 years. We communicate well.

"Happy wife, happy life" - Ralphy May

Conquest351
Conquest351 Dork
8/31/12 6:26 p.m.

The wife and I have been married for 4 years as of this past August 8th. She was married before and I was engaged before, but that's neither here nor there. She learned a lot from that first marriage which has helped us in ours. I'm not really financially responsible, I know that and she knows that. I have one bill to pay and I'm constantly late. She handles the money because she's awesome at it. I know that, I don't have a problem with it. Be sure to find your strengths and weaknesses in each other and try to complement each other.

By far the hardest strain on our marriage was when we had our daughter. She has a daughter who was 12 when we got married and is now 16, we we're kinda starting over. The wife got post partum depression pretty bad. THAT was a nightmare. Do yourself a favor, if you guys get preggo and you notice a drastic change in her behavior, call your Dr. immediately!! They're there to help and will guide you through it. Kourtlyn is 2 now and the wife is finally getting out of that crap.

Our first year was lots of fun though.

iceracer
iceracer UltraDork
8/31/12 6:36 p.m.

Main thing is, you both have to want it to suceed.

mndsm
mndsm PowerDork
8/31/12 7:04 p.m.

First year was fine, for me. It's gotten harder since the birth of our kid, TBQH. THAT year (he just turned 1) has been a mess.

f86sabjf
f86sabjf Reader
8/31/12 7:35 p.m.

6mths into our marriage we split up for a month or so . We will celebrate 19yrs this Sept 4th . Learn how to communicate and the rest will take care of itself. Theres no room for selfishness in a marriage . Luckily we learned that at the 6mth mark.

turbojunker
turbojunker HalfDork
8/31/12 7:39 p.m.

Our 10th anniversary was yesterday. The marriage is easy, it's our kids that make it rough.

Duke
Duke PowerDork
8/31/12 7:45 p.m.
mndsm wrote: First year was fine, for me. It's gotten harder since the birth of our kid, TBQH. THAT year (he just turned 1) has been a mess.

Stick it out. Absolutely nothing will be harder on your marriage than the first 5 years of a child's life (especially your first!) BUT it does get better. When you are both beat down from the eternal, unending job of being a young child's parent, it is spectacularly easy to lose sight of each other.

But as they get a little older and do not require constant care and attention, if you make the effort to reconnect with each other, it will happen. We went through a very uninspiring stretch of time for a few years after our second daughter was born (the first was 3-1/2 then).

That period ended about 10 years ago and things have been steadily getting better and better. We're heading towards our 22nd anniversary and we've never been happier together.

bastomatic
bastomatic Dork
8/31/12 7:57 p.m.

No real stories to tell here either about the first year of marriage. It was fun for sure.

I can tell you lots about living with a colicky child but I won't. Have to avoid reliving the nights due to PTSD

Toyman01
Toyman01 GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/31/12 7:58 p.m.

The first year wasn't too bad. We eloped our senior year in HS much to the dismay of our families and packed up and left town. We were on our own, so it was us against the world. Neither one of us talked to any family for almost 9 months. That's probably the best thing that could have happened. Seeing as how we only dated for a little over a month, everyone said there was no way we would stay married. We are coming up on 27 years. So in your face world.

The tough years were 3, 11 and 21. We've been separated twice, at 11 and at 21 years. Since the last time, it's agreed that marriage counseling happens if either one of us feels the need for it. Every problem we have ever had, has been communication related. If you can't get past that, get some help, it's worth it.

dj06482
dj06482 GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
8/31/12 8:12 p.m.

Marriage is work, period. I heard a great quote once that marriage isn't about meeting someone half way - it's about each person giving 100% to meet the other person where they are.

Communication is a big key, and finding time for each other once you have kids is really important.

Good luck, and hang in there!

z31maniac
z31maniac PowerDork
8/31/12 9:04 p.m.

No, but the first year we lived together (she is a few years younger and still in her last year of college when we moved in together) was a HUGE adjustment.

Nearly didn't make it, had a few rough spots since, but pretty good since. Together almost 6 years and married over 2 years.

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