4th of July food story

My girlfriend is great. She cooks me dinner all the time and is a complete hottie. She doesn't even complain when I work on this piece of crap Miata for hours while she cooks.

..but the other day I neglected to tell her to check the expiration dates when cooking at my house.

The result?

We both consumed bleu cheese dressing that had an expiration date of Aug of 2005.

That was a few days ago so evidently bleu cheese dressing has an incredible shelf life when refrigerated. That or I'm now a brain eater, walking dead, zombie.

Put away those machetes. I'm one of you...I swear....BRRAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS!

good for the blue cheese, I guesse

Xceler8x wrote: My girlfriend is great. She cooks me dinner all the time and is a complete hottie.

Pichers of sick people?

or of out of date labels?

Wait, I know, pichers of Zombies!

Isn't blue cheese just cheese with a certain kind of mold on it anyway? I guess it just becomes bluer cheese after the expiration date.

Pichers? Pichers of pichers?

Now you're talking!

I don't know if blue cheese can go bad. After all, you've rotted milk to the point of chunks with serious color changes. How much worse could it go beyond that?

And I'm not even sure if I'm joking or not.

I'd be much more worried about all the stuff in the dressing that's not bleu cheese.

The point is...no harm, no foul...you'd of done hurled by now if there was a problem.

Folks get way too worked up these days. I showed up late to a dinner party last night (the movie after the dinner phase) and someone said, "do you suppose the spinach artichoke dip is still good?"

Seiously? It's like 3 hours old...certainly even our society's over-anti-bacterialized digestive tracts can handle just a few short hours of not much bacterial growth! I know mine can...

Clem

therex wrote:

Xceler8x wrote: My girlfriend is great. She cooks me dinner all the time and is a complete hottie.

+1

When I was a bachelor, I always consumed food way past it's expiration date. Now my stomach is that much more resilient. My wife throws away stuff way too soon--she doesn't believe that eggs can last a couple months in the fridge. Or that brats can survive six NASCAR race trips and be refrozen again for future consumption.

I'm color deficient. Often Mrs. Jack (the work from home realtor) calls to tell me that when she went to make a sandwich she discovered the bread was moldy, so don't eat my sandwich. Unfortunately, I eat 30 minutes before she does. I have not gotten sick yet. Blue cheese is already moldy. How bad can it be, especially, if the bottle was still unopened.

I still use a perscription anti-bacterial cream which expired in the 90's and it works fine.

Jack

2005!?!? Suck it up, ya freakin pansy (joking...sort of) You sound like my wife! "Don't drink that expired bloody mary mix, don't take those expired antibiotics, don't crush up and snort that expired Ritalin, don't eat off the floor, that cheese has mold on it, have you been drinking out of that same glass for the last 3 weeks? YOU CAN'T EAT PIZZA THAT SAT IN THE OVEN OVERNIGHT!"

NAG NAG NAG! There's a berkeleying war going on ferchrissake!!! You don't throw away food!

PS: Send me the rest of that blue cheese dressing and I'll eat the rest of it...with pitchers.

Wait..when did you marry Colleen? I'm serious, she very well could have been the one to ask if the 3 hour old spinach dip was still good. She takes expiration dates WAY too seriously.

My gastrointestinal desires and fortitude know no satiety or boundaries.

Some dudes in Chicago just got busted for relabeling expired salad dressing with "new" expiration labels. So who knows what you really eat sometimes....

http://www.federalcrimesblog.com/2006_07_09_archive.html

wow, Poopshovel made me laugh til' i cried with that one. Genious sir.

You must live near my folks house. 2 years ago we got concerned for my folks health and removed all the WAY past "sell by" food from my Mom's pantry...we had 3 large cardboard boxes full of canned and bottled food. (My Mom has more bottles of Hellman's than a bad seafood restaurant.) When visiting in May (for Mother's Day) I discovered the refrigerator had nearly 8 bottles of various salad dressings...for 3 people, 2 of which were also years past the "sell by" date, and were still being used by someone. Sorry, nothing quite as bad as original post, tho.

integraguy wrote: ...for 3 people, 2 of which were also years past the "sell by" date,

Exactly how much are old people going for these days?

There are some Jamaican meat rolls that sat in the office lunch room overnight, not in the fridge. Think I should toss them in the microwave and eat them? There's AC in the lunch room so it's kinda like a fridge...

How bad can they be. Some of the pizza places here keep them in a case on the counter for days at a time unrefridgerated. The meat is already cooked so it should be fine.

That's nothing! runs to check fridge

Well I'll be damned. Only some mustard from 2006. I'm normally overflowing with expired things, because when my mother comes to visit, she sometimes buys me food and the accompanying condiments that I, as a busy, lazy college student, do not have time to eat. I should have had some stuff from 2005 in there, when I started this whole higher-learning experience.

Don't kid too much about not caring for your guts. I had to have a nice chunk cut out back in November thanks to the ol' c word. I had heredity working against me, but it's still a good idea to get yourselves checked out... chemo SUCKS.

Of course I can walk to my pantry right now and pull out, at a minimum, two dozen cans/jars of seriously past due crap. My wife won't throw anything away especially if it was a gift from my in-laws. As if they're going to show up one day wondering where the jalapeño waffle batter mix went.

No lie... 20oz of bruschetta burst open just sitting on the kitchen counter on their most recent visit. As I cleaned up the mess I noted the expiration date was barely legible and ended in 2004. The botulism growing inside had burst the seal on the plastic jar. GROSS.

Kramer wrote: When I was a bachelor, I always consumed food way past it's expiration date. Now my stomach is that much more resilient. My wife throws away stuff way too soon--she doesn't believe that eggs can last a couple months in the fridge. Or that brats can survive six NASCAR race trips and be refrozen again for future consumption.

I am reminded again of George Carlin who (at least I think it was him) once asked "Why does sour cream have an expiration date?"

We used to brand unclaimed leftovers as "Missy's (or Linda's) science experiments"

Semi-serious question: How long can frozen meat remain in the freezer? I know you're not supposed to thaw/refreeze, but my wife and I have the occasional disagreement. My side says almost forever.

There was also some good stuff on "Bread snobs" or something like that; people who wouldn't eat the heel.