A thread about homeschooling

Most of us with kids are struggling right now trying to make decisions about school in the Fall. 
 

As some of you know, we homeschooled our 5 kids for 26 years, and served as president of a home school association with over 200 family members. 

I also come from a family with a long line of public school educators.  I see the advantages of both sides.

I'm not here to sell anyone on the idea of homeschooling.  It's absolutely not for everyone. I am here to you answer questions as best as I am able.

At the beginning of every year we ask ourselves the question "What's the best educational choice we can make for our kids this year?"  For many years the answer was homeschooling. 2 years ago the answer was different- we had moved into a good school district. The best educational opportunity we could give our one remaining daughter was to enroll her in public school.  
 

This year the answer is different again. The public school is a good school, but clearly incapable of dealing with the crisis at hand, and not good at online educating at all. Being a good school does not make them good at homeschooling. So, we are pulling our daughter out of school and are once again homeschoolers.

Enough about me. Any questions I can help you with?

Is there really a math problem in every pizza?

Haha!  Absolutely!!  At least a dozen. 

SVreX (Forum Supporter) said:

Haha!  Absolutely!!  At least a dozen. 

Okay good, because I use that example for everyone who asks me about homeschooling. As well as it being a lifestyle.

Just to clarify to everyone, Paul is the one who answered all my question about homeschooling years ago. We've been homeschooling for years now. So far, so good.

Maybe i am to old but can't understand how homeschool can as good as usual school, i've finished the university, and i cant imagine how i would enter there without school education

In reply to Huan :

4 of my kids have been to University at different schools.  All of them found their public school classmates less prepared than they were.

It's not about the knowledge base of the instructors, or the processes of the schools.  It's about developing a lifestyle of learning.  This translates well to college.  It's not what is usually taught in public schools.

In reply to Huan :

Don't take this personally... I'm just poking a little bit of fun.

Are you aware you have 10 or 11 different grammatical errors in your post?  Haha!!

( I thought that was really funny in an educational thread)

Thank you for posting this - will probably be asking questions on it in a couple years.

Yes, I'd love to talk about socialization if anyone wants to ask.

SVreX (Forum Supporter) said:

Yes, I'd love to talk about socialization if anyone wants to ask.

We're members of two different homeschool co-ops, plus (before COVID) we did 1-2 group field trips per week. Keeps us all pretty social.

I've got an ice-breaker that might answer some questions.

Paul: What is the difference between schooling at home (like what most public schools are doing now) and homeschooling?

Do you use any sort of general program, or do you "make it up", meaning design your own educational program? 

Do you have any resources that you have used specifically that you recommend, or don't, as far as the general direction?

Did you have structured breaks/days off (with the acknowledgement that learning never stops - as a public school educated kid, I learned how to do multiplication/division/fractions first when I was in 2nd grad from my dad teaching me how to calculate a tip) - so, I guess is it structured 212 school days, or less so?

Were your kids involved in sports (not really a question I'm interested in, as I suspect my kids will be in club sports instead of school sports)?

What does a typical day look like, if there is anything that could be called a typical day? For both the parent and student?

Did you every homeschool any kids that weren't your own?

In reply to slefain :

There are many more aspects.  I think homeschoolers have much more socialization opportunities than their public schooled cohort (but I am trying to hold back a little and answer questions).

Oh, one other question: are there any specific types of parent/person/student that you would say, Homeschooling is not a good solution for you?

slefain said:

What is the difference between schooling at home (like what most public schools are doing now) and homeschooling?

Authority.

Schooling at home is doing what someone tells you to do.  And right now that "someone" is really unskilled at schooling from home.

Homeschooling is designed for the the students individually.  Its a choice parents make in coordination with their kids to meet their individual needs and help them grow (within the context and guidelines of the laws of their states)

Edit:  

By the nature of what it is, public schooling needs for kids to fit into their program (whether it works for the kid or not).  They have to fit the mold.  The kids fit the school.

Homeschooling is designed around the kid.  We modified our school to fit the kid.  All 5 of them were different, and we taught them all differently.

mtn (Forum Supporter) said:

Do you use any sort of general program, or do you "make it up", meaning design your own educational program? 

There are LOTS of curricula and programs.  It is completely customizable family by family, and even per every student.  We used snippets of different curricula that met individual needs.  We never wrote stuff totally from scratch.

Do you have any resources that you have used specifically that you recommend, or don't, as far as the general direction?

First, learn the laws of your state.  Don't guess, or ask people.  Read them.  And pay attention.  Don't read into them.  For example, GA requires that all homeschooling parents have a HS diploma.  It DOES NOT require you ever prove this, or show it to anyone.

Once you've learned the laws, start building your network.  You will need an online network of like-minded home educators, AND a real life network.  These networks are your MOST important resource.

I know you were actually asking about curricula.  I'm not a fan of boxed curricula that tries to teach every subject.  They always fail at something.  Some are good at some subjects, some at others.  It's ok to try many things.  Just don't switch every day.  

The age of the student also matters.  Don't buy ANY curricula for a young student.  Don't use curricula as a crutch just because the parents are scared of ruining their kid.  They don't need it.  Neither do you.  Discover with them.  And while they are learning about shapes and counting, you can learn about books and curricula that teach addition.

Did you have structured breaks/days off (with the acknowledgement that learning never stops - as a public school educated kid, I learned how to do multiplication/division/fractions first when I was in 2nd grad from my dad teaching me how to calculate a tip) - so, I guess is it structured 212 school days, or less so?

Sounds like your Dad started you as a homeschooler!

GA required we have 180 days per year of instruction.  They even made us take attendance (isn't THAT dumb?).  We taught 365 days per year, but always put 180 on the forms (why commit more to the government than they require?)

Were your kids involved in sports (not really a question I'm interested in, as I suspect my kids will be in club sports instead of school sports)?

All of my kids were involved in sports.  Lots of community youth league.

What does a typical day look like, if there is anything that could be called a typical day? For both the parent and student?

Different for every family.

When we started, we homeschooled with 2 other families.  The other Dads and I built a little classroom in someone's garage.  Desks, chalkboard, even the little cubbies to store your jacket.  That was all really silly- NONE of that is necessary.  But it was part of us learning together what education would look like.  Some families are night owls.  For us, we always tried to get our studies done in the morning before lunch.  When the kids got older, there was a lot of self-guided learning.  Mom needed a support system- her days always included online connecting with other homeschoolers, and in person connecting through a co-op.

Did you every homeschool any kids that weren't your own?

That's actually illegal in GA.  You can tutor other people's kids, but the primary teacher must be their parent (or legal guardian).  

There is a lot of gray area in that.  We had what we called "Friday School".  It was a co-op.  A dozen or so parents all shared the teaching responsibilities with each other in classroom-like settings.  There were also periods when homeschool parents we knew were sick (cancer, etc.).  We "taught" their kids (we tutored them in our home as part of our homeschool activities), but they were still the primary responsible party.

mtn (Forum Supporter) said:

Oh, one other question: are there any specific types of parent/person/student that you would say, Homeschooling is not a good solution for you?

I like that question.

Anyone who really doesn't like it shouldn't do it.  Please don't put your kids through the agony of watching your grumpy face and listening to you bitch every day.

Fear is not an excuse.  Every homeschooler is afraid.  We are afraid we will screw up our kids.  Afraid we will miss some requirement.  Afraid Family Services may knock at the door.  Afraid our kids will hate us.  But good stuff still happens.

I know people who are really educated, organized and detailed who do a great job.  Some of the same types of people don't do very well.

I also know chaotic disorganized disasters of people and home environments.  Some of them are some of the best and most creative homeschoolers I know.

It's really about the dynamic of your family and the people in it.

I was homeschooled for a couple years. 

I preferred it because I wanted more knowledge and less people in my schooling

Smwbo looked into this but time is our enemy. How do you make it work with both parents that work, one is way outside the home and can't actively participate in schooling, and with a child with a speech iep?

Just FYI, so you know where I'm coming from with all these questions- and our daughter is 4 months old, so this is all just for the back of my mind right now

• I came from one of the best districts, probably in the country, but definitely the State (Illinois).
• My parents had me in supplemental Math tutoring from 1st grade through 5th grade - not because I was struggling, but because both of my parents struggled with math and they didn't want the same for me.
• My older brother went to the Catholic high school because of social issues with his class in middle school, and the fact that the Catholic school catered better to his strengths; I went to the public school.
• I was a really, really E36 M3ty student. In middle school, I got straight A's because I was able to finish the homework on the bus. In High School, I graduated with 14 college credits, a 32 on my ACT, and a 2.6 GPA (♩♩ One of these things is not like the others ♩♩). I wasn't good at fitting into the boxes they wanted me to fit into. I hated homework, so I didn't do it. Didn't need to study much because I was perceptive and read a TON on my own, but that will only help you with tests. 
• In college, I was an alright student in a very difficult program (Actuarial to start, then Mathematics with sides of Business and Economics). 
• I have a lot of family that we now have to call "Doctor" who graduated from prestigious universities, who came out of exceptionally poor high school programs

 Ok, on to more questions:

• What percentage of your time did you dedicate to your employment, to your children's education (not a math lesson in the pizza, but the actual "classroom" time) , and to the rest of "life"
• What about for your wife?
• For the classroom time, was it 50/50 you and your wife doing the teaching? Or 33/33/33, you/her/both? Ballpark it, if it is possible
• Did you or your wife have a background in education at all?
• What was the hardest subject to teach/for your kids to learn?
• Is there anything that you're not confident in your knowledge of that you were still able to teach? What about something that you thought that you knew, that it turns out you didn't?
• What "rules" did you have for your kids?
• How did you grade? And where I'm going with this is, how did the GPA work for your kids getting into college?
  • Corollary to that, what colleges did your kids go to?
• How did you decide to start homeschooling? Or why? Did you start in public schools for kiddo #1 at all, or was your youngest in the good school district the first time?
• If I'm  biased about anything, it is that our math curriculum in this country is atrocious. I think kids should be learning calculus by middle school at the latest (controversial, sure). What did your math curriculum look like, generally?

I know these are coming rapid fire - no need to answer them, I'll be reading this thread for years to come I'm sure and they'll get answered.

I have four kids: 2, 4, 7, and 14.  Our first ever taste of homeschool came when schools suddenly closed this spring due to COVID.  Our experience was over the top frustrating from day one.  I work full time so digital learning fell on my wife.  My first grader is borderline ADD and will not accept instruction from her mother.  Every session was a constant carrot/stick battle that was usually accompanied by crying and acting out.  My 8th grader sought out every possible excuse and opportunity to get out doing her work.  Both didn't receive adequate supervision because the two littlest kids need constant attention.

Schools in our area open in about a week and there's no mask mandate and little in the way of safety precautions.  We live on the same street as my retired in-laws so my kids are over there frequently and my wife has health factors, so digital feels like our only option for now.  The digital options here are mostly self-directed course work, which doesn't fit the learning style of any of my kids.  We sincerely fear that my kids will quickly fall behind unless we get real help.

In reply to mtn (Forum Supporter) :

I'll get back to your questions.  Whew!  You're wearing me out!

nderwater said:

I have four kids: 2, 4, 7, and 14.  Our first ever taste of homeschool came when schools suddenly closed this spring due to COVID.  Our experience was over the top frustrating from day one.  I work full time so digital learning fell on my wife.  My first grader is borderline ADD and will not accept instruction from her mother.  Every session was a constant carrot/stick battle that was usually accompanied by crying and acting out.  My 8th grader sought out every possible excuse and opportunity to get out doing her work.  Both didn't receive adequate supervision because the two littlest kids need constant attention.

Schools in our are open in about a week and there's no mask mandate and little in the way of safety precautions.  We live on the same street as my retired in-laws and my wife has health factors, so digital feels like our only option for now.  The digital options here are mostly self-directed couse work, which doesn't fit the learning style of any of my kids.  We sincerely fear that my kids will quickly fall behind unless we get real help.

There is often a struggle when kids start homeschooling.  They don't know how to treat Mom as a teacher.  Only as Mom.  Plus, Mom really needs a break sometimes!

I am not pushing homeschooling for you, but I will say it gets better, and your experience can be MUCH better (if you decide to continue).

First off, Mom needs to know she is not a failure.  Your kid loves her, and wants to learn.  ADD kids learn their own way, and most of us who are not ADD can't begin to understand.

If you continue, I strongly recommend connecting with a homeschooling association.  There are lots of special needs kids who homeschool, and they are their own network inside of the homeschooling network.  I've been super impressed with their knowledge and ability.  DON'T try to do this alone.

And Dad, make sure you are fully present.  Date your wife.   Counsel her.  Be the bad guy when she needs it.  Make sure she has some time for girl's nights out, etc.  You may not be able to be their all day, but be available when necessary through FaceTime or something.  Make sure you give Mom a break every day as soon as you get home.  Let her use you as the bad guy... she should feel free to be able to say to the kids "Wait till your father gets home..."

And be part of the teaching.  Don't make her do all the work.  Pick a subject, and YOU teach that subject in the evenings.  There is no reason "school" can't be 3 hours in the morning plus one in the evening.

Your kids won't be harmed.  I promise.

I just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread. My wife and I are gearing up to homeschool our two children as we do not think they will do well with a virtual classroom. We currently don't have any questions, but are likely to have a few as things go along.

Ranger50 said:

Smwbo looked into this but time is our enemy. How do you make it work with both parents that work, one is way outside the home and can't actively participate in schooling, and with a child with a speech iep?

I never had to do that.  We were a single income family.  We gave up a lot of nice things like new cars, but we created time.

I have known a couple families that homeschooled with 2 incomes.  They humble me.  I am in awe.

Local homeschoolers are your best resource.  They will help and know the locally available resources.

I recognize you may not be the best candidate for homeschooling, and may not want to go there.  Circumstances may make you a reluctant homeschooler anyway.  If that happens, then I would suggest looking hard at your schedule and figure out how you can approach it creatively.  It's definitely not a 9-5 kind of schedule.  Maybe one of you could teach for an hour when you first get home, then the other teach for an hour, then do a few hours on Saturday morning?  Or some other variation....

Your kids need routine, but they don't need 9AM-3PM weekdays.  Get a whiteboard, and draw a schedule on it that works for you and that they can understand.

Thanks for starting the thread!  No specific questions, but watching with interest.

We're on the precipice of this depending on how the plans come out in a few days for our district in CT (they're due today, but we won't have time to read them until at least Sunday!). 

Our biggest concern is that we have 5 kids, with 2 two-year-old twins, so managing home schooling while my wife works remotely two days a week as a speech therapist is a large mountain of stress that we're staring down.  On the other hand, if we were in control of the curriculum, there wouldn't be the lack of direction that our school (understandably!) went through this spring.

And, of course, the matter of both privilege and social responsibility come into play.  We have the ability, no matter how inconvenient, of keeping our kids home.  Isn't it our responsibility to keep them out of the general population as much as possible, and leave the space for people who really do need it?