A what would you do question

The girlfriend hates net and cars discussion got me thinking about a situation I'm in.

Anyway here is the situation, about 2 years ago I quit my job to go back to school and I moved across the state. Last fall my girlfriend left me basically because she was jealous of the girls in my classes. It was long distance at this point and was more then likely going to end anyway so no biggy. The truth is I've been doing so many classes I have not really even had the time to date or anything since I've been out here. Around here most of the people (adults included) figure the best pass time is to get drunk, I'm not much for bars and the like.

Anyway in the last term I have gotten to be very good friends with one of the girls in my class. We normally hang out for at least an hour a day outside of class. We have made it so we will be in the same labs next term. She is going to be talking to the prof so she can work in my research lab with me (I'm the only one working there). She texts me a few dozen times a day (I of course reply). We have planned an entire day to just "veg" during spring break, just going to kick back watch movies all day and I'll cook her dinner. We will be studying for our finals on Tuesday however she is convinced we will not get much studying done. Better yet she is into outdoors stuff (goes hunting, hiking and camping), was excited when I told her about my plans for the Cutlass and offered to help me on it. There is tons of flirting that happens back and forth.

Now we come to the problem, she has a boyfriend, its long distance at the moment he is working out side the state or something. She has been planning on moving to the other side of the state so they could live together but is now talking about staying for at least another year. Then there is me starting to hope something happens and they split so I could scoop her up.

At this point I'm thinking telling her I'm liking her as more than a friend would be the complete bone head move to make. However sometimes I think I should, even if it did risk the friendship. Neither of us has a ton of spare time outside of school and work, and as it is now we spend more time together than many people I know do with their significant other. Then there is that whole she already has a boy friend issue.

Oh yeah she is 10 years younger than me and is a dancer on the team at school. Tell me I'm an idiot.

You're an idiot if you don't tell her. chances are if she moves away you'll never see her again anyway. and ttiwop.

clearly the answer is not miata, so i'm going to have to suggest putting it in her butt.

go rent "chasing amy" and memorize Holden's outpouring to Finger-cuffs. quote it verbatim or tune it to your situation -- perhaps using her name instead of Finger-cuffs.

Sounds to me like she digs you, unless you made up everything she said.

You are an idiot for not telling her your feelings are getting more serious. If there's flirting back AND forth, she is likely feeling the same way about you.

Do it.

AngryCorvair wrote: clearly the answer is not miata, so i'm going to have to suggest putting it in her butt. go rent "chasing amy" and memorize Holden's outpouring to Finger-cuffs. quote it verbatim or tune it to your situation -- perhaps using her name instead of Finger-cuffs.

Nice

What do you have to lose? A friend? Maybe- but if she's really a friend it'll work out either way. If not, eh, whatever- wasn't meant to be.

wherethefmi2000 wrote: Sounds to me like she digs you, unless you made up everything she said.

Nope that is the spooky thing is there isn't even any exaggeration in that at all. Heck last Monday she was feeling lonely at work (works in the school library) and asked me to come up. So I went up and talked with her for about 3 hours until they shut down for the night.

In a very funny coincidence she just sent me a text lol.

is this the speech you are talking about? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XfJY5QR3Lc

I couldn't get more than about a minute into it. If I went that far off the deep end she would start laughing her ass off (cause she knows me to well) and more then likely consider it a joke lol

Slight update.

I was just talking to her about the car and mentioned her being my gopher for while I worked on it and she said "No". Apparently now she wants to actually help out and learn how to do the stuff right and get dirty .

I think I'm falling in love lol

rebelgtp wrote: Nope that is the spooky thing is there isn't even any exaggeration in that at all. Heck last Monday she was feeling lonely at work (works in the school library) and asked me to come up. So I went up and talked with her for about 3 hours until they shut down for the night.

Sorry, friend, but I fully believe you're square into intellectual whore territory.

Ask her out, deal with the consequences.

Tell her you dig her or we'll stick a Miata in YOUR butt!

Ask her out on an official date or I will personally come out there and kick you in the butt.

Looks like the general consensus is to dive on in. Looks like that is what I'll be doing however I am going to wait until after finals week (this week), neither of us need the added possible stress this week.

This could be interesting. I'll ask her on our day together during Spring break I think, I'll just have to think of a "date" thing to do for around here. Sometimes I really miss living in the city lol.

i think the advice from the other thread applies...

put it in her butt

hey, if your gonna be a bear...be a grizzly bear.

oh I'm not even gonna go into the slight similarities in situation that i didn't mention in my other post.

Oh lordy, what have I started.

Rebel, if worst comes to worst, if I recall you made a thread about all the hot girls you see around. Go get 'um, tiger!

Let's just say, I've missed quite a few grand opportunities and you'd be dumb not to take advantage of yours.

Part of the reason I got into the relationship I'm in (as great as it sounds) is because I was tired of missing the "good catch" and wasn't going to let anyone else stop me from an intimate relationship with a girl. Not my friends, family or even the girl's own twisted demands of my life.

You go missing all the right opportunities and you might choose the wrong one later.

Hell I have chosen many of the wrong ones in the past lol.

What's to lose?

I personally would hate being a 35 year old man with a bunch of married, hot, intellectual female friends who are getting banged by some other dude.

I'd much rather lose a hot intellectual friend because she cant handle my creepness at the possible benefit of getting the hot intellectual friend to bang.

In fact, most of the chances I've missed have since spoke with me about how I:

a) totally missed the signs that she liked me b) never made a move c) talked about my girlfriend too much

I can speak with some authority here. I used to be an opposite sex idiot, and probably still am, you, Sir are an idiot. Tell her how you feel, be prepared for a flaming spectacular crash, and It probably won't happen. There is a reason that she is calling and texting you and not that other guy, and the distance is probably not the reason.

I was in this situation more than once in my mid twenties, and never spoke my mind directly, and came away empty every time. I don't have any major regrets, life is what it is, and you have to learn from your mistakes, but if I could go back with wisom and experience that I have now, there is a lot that I would do differently.

You asked "what whould you do" and I am telling you: Go For It!

Steve Forbert once sang "you can't win if you do not play". simple and true. just my $.02

Oh yeah I'm the first person to admit I'm an idiot when it comes to women. Hell the way I met my girlfriend in high school was she fell in my lap. I mean that literally, I was sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch she tripped I caught her on my lap, we started dating withing a week.

I was getting the idea through my thick head that she might be interested in more. However it is nice to see others think the same thing.

P71 wrote: Tell her you dig her or we'll stick a Miata in YOUR butt!

Must be eternalized on paper, hint, hint.

rebelgtp wrote: We have planned an entire day to just "veg" during spring break, just going to kick back watch movies all day and I'll cook her dinner.

Who's idea was this movies and dinner event?
I don't know about you but I can see right through this and it usually ends in PIITB (the good agreed on type.)
As referenced earlier, the movies should be a Kevin Smith film festival.

I vote for Mall Rats and Chasing Amy..

Watch "Just Friends" with Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart.

Call her out in the following fashion: "In real life, am i your Ryan Reynolds? If so.... please leave so i can be alone with Amy Smart."

If she says no, then PIITB.

I was in a fairly similar situation - had a female "best friend", we hung out all the time. I went for it. Result - female "best friend" is now my girlfriend, and both of us couldn't be happier about it.

Cliffs Notes: Go for it.