All purpose fill-in-the-blank rant

With all the intensity of the arguing we see online on so many different topics, there seems to be a distinct advantage to those who can type fast, think fast or have a lot of time, to dominate the discourse. As a public service to those those who want to participate, but are limited in intellectual gifts or motivation, I have composed an all purpose fill-in-the-blank-rant for flame wars. This is a first draft. Please feel free to comment, suggest improvments or use it.

"This whole situation is caused by (Insert one of your least favorite social groups here)! I am getting sick and tired of it. They cause eveything that annoys us and just want to make us unhappy. Our taxes subsidize (insert publically funded program or resource here) that we all use. They have no right to comment about anything except to agree with us.

This started with (insert your least favorite social change here) and has been perpetuated by (insert your least favorite public policy). It not going to end until (insert your worst case scenario). Until (insert a reason you think the world is going to hell in a handbasket) changes, it is only going to get worse. The solution to this problem is to bring back manditory (insert a social behaivor) and send all non-compliers back to ( insert a place you hate) where they came from."

For the truely lazy who prefer to do no thinking or typing, I might see if an auto-generate feature could be created to fill in the blanks with random issues, or people. For example, a thread on stealing toilet paper from public rest rooms might read like this.

"This whole situation is caused by (12 to 17 year males who ride skateboards). I am getting sick and tired of it. They cause everything that annoys us and just want to make us unhappy. Our taxes subsidize the (military aid to Belgium) that we all use. They have no right to comment about anything except to agree with us.

This started with (women getting the right to vote) and has been perpetuated by (tax subsidies to fabric companies). It not going to end until (nuclear winter). Until (SUV's available for anyone to purchase) changes, it is only going to get worse. The solution to this problem is to bring back manditory (breast feeding) and send all non-compliers back to (Canada) where they came from."

Discalimer: The preceding is an attempt at humor. Views expressed in no way reflect those of myself, Grassroots Motorsports ot any of is affiliates.

its like an argument mad-lib!

I could write up a Javascript app to auto-generate these things...but not until Monday :\

You are a pirate!

I can't stand (fill in your own rants). This whole situation is caused by (soccer moms who apply makeup while driving their SUV's on the freeway)! I am getting sick and tired of it. They cause eveything that annoys us and just want to make us unhappy. Our taxes subsidize (the national cowgirl museum) that we all use. They have no right to comment about anything except to agree with us.

This started with (deregulation of the logging industry) and has been perpetuated by (the IRS). It not going to end until (the large hardon collider blows up the world). Until (kids wearing flat brimmed caps with the tags still on them) changes, it is only going to get worse. The solution to this problem is to bring back manditory (arts classes in the high schools) and send all non-compliers back to (Venezuela) where they came from."

"the large hardon collider"???

Tim Baxter wrote: "the large hardon collider"???

The misspelling was intentional.

I couldn't love GRM the magazine or the website more, and believe me, I don't like to be the P.C police or anything or the guy who has a problem with everything thing, but I do have a problem with this...

I find it a bit offensive that you use terms like "Insert one of your least favorite social groups here," "insert your least favorite public policy," etc etc... for your little descriptions or whatever in the postings. I myself do not have special needs, nor am I a special ed teacher or counselor, but I feel sensitivity for people with special needs as I am a student taking special ed classes, and my Girlfriend is pursuing her masters in the field.

These terms although I'm pretty sure are not even real words, are obviously meant to resemble the words used to describe people with cognative-expressive impairments, and it appears that they are used on these boards in a joking sense which, as I view it, makes light of people who are afflicted with thought disabilities.

Salanis wrote:

Tim Baxter wrote: "the large hardon collider"???

The misspelling was intentional.

ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

What a stupid meme. I'm glad it's dying.

Basic In-Group / Out-Group banter.. Psych 102.

Some refuse to take the bait. Some swallow the hook.

Not that it isn't entertaining to read (sometimes).

I did a whole take on this using pirate refrences and then hit the wrong button. Dammit.

ford brake lines, need i say more?

Dear Mr. Suddard,

Thank you for the excellent magazine and some great online articles for the times between the paper issues. The forums on the website however are not my favorite. I would like to recommend they be more closely monitored, if not moderated.

They seem to have attracted an unusually high ratio of very passionate, articulate, yet seriously misguided readers.

To wit, a forum user posted an all purpose fill in the blank rant for lazy people. If you are too busy with this so called "real world" or just to lazy to put your own opinion to electrons, why should anyone know what your opinion is. The purpose of this blank rant escapes me yet seems to have been done in an effort to incite conflict among other forum users.

Most rationale people, even those whom have no qualm with well thought out ravings from lunatics who never see daylight realize that the only opinions that matter are the ones who just did exhaustive research on Wikipedia.

Instead, a number of your forum users have quite vehemently defended this Mad lib puzzle wanna be as great and a time saver. They've failed to grasp the simple truth that it is My opinion and mine alone that is correct, no matter what the subject.

Personally, I found the post to be a disgusting example of poor judgment. Posting it here to ruffle others feathers suggests a desire for attention. What of this is grassroots?

Your magazines have earned a great reputation for their high content:fluff ratio the website and forums should support. I strongly recommend establishing better boundaries for the use of the forums. Please do not be afraid to restrict or even disallow the use of the forums by those whom either cannot or will not behave themselves. A right to an opinion does not equal permission to pollute your forums with it.

Wally: that's sarcasm, right?

Foxtrapper:

Dat's called shenanigans!