Anyone here Elope and regret it?

Chuck and I got married at the courthouse for about $24. The fee was $25, but when we came up short a guy who was getting out on bail loaned us the extra $1. And it just doesn't get any better than that.

Small ceromony at home (or a friends / family members home of its better suited than yours). Do a pig roast. Works even better if you can rent a beach house for the weekend.

I picked up my wife after school one day and we got married in a lawyers office for $10.00 on the way out of town. She had turned 18 a few weeks before and we were both sick and tired of our families. We had been dating for 5 weeks.

We started out dirt broke poor and it was us against the world. Everything we owned fit in the back of my pick-up truck. That was 24 years and 4 kids ago and I wouldn't change a thing.

My wife wanted to do the court house thing, just like she had with her ex, mainly because she doesn't like being the center of attention and she wanted to hurry up and become Mrs. Romacr. Little did she know with her trying to "hurry up and get it over with" was making me feel bum rushed to the big day and was creating mass anxiety for me.

We worked past it and I wanted a small ceremony because I wanted something special to commemorate our life together. We compromised small wedding at a local park and it was everything I wanted and everything she didn't know she wanted.

I think the total cost of the wedding was $3000 or so with lots of family help. Do I get bonus GRM points? $2000 of that was paid by our uninsured friend that rear ended my car and paid us cash. I turned around and fixed the car for $50 in used parts and a sledgehammer. The rest went into the wedding.

I can see it now: Coming Soon "GRM $2010 Wedding Challenge."

All I know is that if I don't have some sort of party with an open bar to commemorate it, I'll be disowned by both sides of my extended family.

"The wedding is one day, the marriage is every day" Well said, Sire.

We had the added pressure that my Visa was running out, sorta put my wife on the spot, "Does he want me or want the green card"

We got all done at the courthouse, her family was there, mine in Oz.

10 years later I am still driving her crazy.

(I told her she wouldn't get bored)

i was lucky my wife had her big wedding with her first husband and figured out the big wedding sucks. Mainly because of the amount of money$20,000 . You will never see most of these people again anyways. Our wedding had 25 people total and cost around $2500 including the dress. We are still in contact with everyone of them 17yrs later and neither one of us would change it for anything.

First wife and I got married in Tiajuana (sp), we were both 17. Divorced by 20. When I married my present wife 28 years ago, it was in the County Courthouse by a Judge/Justice of the Peace with a couple friends as witnesses. We were kinda pressed for time. I brought her to the states on a fiance visa and we had 90 days to get married. All the churches wanted us to attend marriage class for a month. Plus it cost me alot just to get her here to the states. She doesn't have family and certainly none in the states. Best thing about her - no in-laws. That was the main downfall to my first marriage. My family was not to thrilled at me marrying a girl from another country and Asian (Korean) to boot. After they met her they warmed up and would probably take her in and disown me if we ever split. She takes better care of my family than I do.

When our oldest daughter got married year and a half ago, it was in church and kinda big. Cost me a few thousand, not sure exactly. The wife and daughter kept most of it from me and I didn't complain about not knowing. I do know it drastically cut into the car fund for a while though.

f86sabjf wrote: i was lucky my wife had her big wedding with her first husband and figured out the big wedding sucks.

Same here.

I watched my two sisters stress over big church weddings and receptions, getting people in and out of town, who can sit with who at the reception and not kill each other, etc etc... not my cup of tea. Me and the missus went to the courthouse and got it done in five minutes, seven years ago.

The only 'rough' patch was when my mother realized we were wearing rings, but even though she acted a little hurt at first I doubt it left permanent scars.

No regrets.

As soon as I hear a friend is engaged, I make a standing offer. Give me 8 hours warning and I'll pick 'em up at the airport in Vegas in the big green Cadillac, and we'll get Elvis to do the honors. They don't understand at the time, but I'm pretty sure a couple of them have been severely tempted.

EastCoastMojo wrote: Chuck and I got married at the courthouse for about $24. The fee was $25, but when we came up short a guy who was getting out on bail loaned us the extra $1. And it just doesn't get any better than that.

See, nobody wants to hear about how amazing a dream princess wedding was. But you tell a story about a guy getting out on bail loaning you a dollar so you could pay the courthouse, and everybody's interested! Awesome.

My wife and I got married in the back yard. Immediate family and a couple of friends who are so close as to make no difference. We didn't have to decide if we should invite Aunt Lucy's estranged husband's new wife or any crap like that. Food was a BBQ (you could smell the beef brisket smoking during the ceremony, yum). The most expensive thing was a professional photographer. Now, we have great pictures of our family having a fun time and we have "the wedding tree" in the yard.

Meanwhile, my sister-in-law had a giant wedding, including two services, ferrying of 100+ guests up a fire road to a resort, a formal "rehearsal dinner" for everyone invited to the wedding, problems with the catering, high levels of stress and I'd hate to think how many thousands of dollars thrown away. They're no happier for it. In fact, the stress of the wedding didn't really help them as a couple much.

I knew I'd found the right girl when she proved to be immune to the wedding industry...

cwh wrote: What bothers me most about the big expensive weddings is the fact that most of these young couples could really use this money to get started in life. Instead, it's all gone on one fancy afternoon.

That's definitely the truth. Look what I read about weddings in the UK:

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/weddings/Wedding+Debts+Outlive+Marriage+BY+5+Years-166.html

Some UK Tabloid said: Loved-up couples are waltzing up the aisle with a £20,000 ball and chain of debt strapped to their ankles, only to be marching straight to the divorce courts a meagre 11.5 years after they say I Do – leaving them paying off their nuptials long after the ink is dry on the decree absolute.....couples are left forking out for the big day for 16.5 years – 5 years longer than the marriage itself!

The wedding doesn't cost much. It's the reception.

I wouldn't give up the big ceremony for anything. It's a life passage I only intend to do once, and it's important to share it with lots of people.

Having said that, I see no reason the reception has to be exotic. Its just a party among family. What's wrong with an afternoon wedding (at a church or other fancy place) with an outdoor family picnic in a local park afterward? Fancy dinners are really nice, but the celebration with the people you love is the important part.

I own a coffee shop. We do coffee bar catering at weddings. We bring a complete commercial espresso setup and do fancy coffees, lattes, chocolates, as well as cold drinks like smoothies and frappes. We put on a great show, for less than 25% of the cost of an open bar. It's elegant and fun. Works in an informal setting. I see no reason why a fabulous reception couldn't consist of a great buffet style light appetizer food bar with a DJ and a coffee bar and beautiful cupcakes served in a pavillion at the local park. It could be memorable and great fun for only a couple thousand dollars.

And you wouldn't have any explaining to do when Uncle Ralph barfed on your mother-in-law.

SVreX wrote: And you wouldn't have any explaining to do when Uncle Ralph barfed on your mother-in-law.

Spoilsport

mtn wrote: All I know is that if I don't have some sort of party with an open bar to commemorate it, I'll be disowned by both sides of my extended family.

You say that, like it's a bad thing.

Woody wrote: Nothing's more affordable than staying single.

WOW Woody, I guess someone had to say it. Thanks. I know you are right and it makes me sad.

Dr. Hess wrote: My friend, who was best man at our wedding, didn't have the proverbial pot to pee in. His spouse-to-be (or future ex-spouse-to-be) thought she was Ms. Debutante of Atlanta. They had a huge wedding in that rich part of Atlanta with the mayor there, horse drawn carriage, the whole thing. Her family paid for the $10K (1985 dollars, ~30-40K today) wedding.

Ostentation is the mother of all berkeleying idiots.

When my wife and I got married, it was important that we have a religious ceremony performed by a particular minister we knew, and we wanted to have our families present. But it was equally important that we keep expenses down to a couple thousand and pay cash for everything. I think the bill was somewhere around $1,500 or $2,000 for everything, including clothes, rehearsal dinner, reception (even with drinks, though we only had a small guest list and no big drinkers), and everything. And we never find ourselves thinking, "Gee, I wish we'd spent more money on our wedding."

One useful tip is that a lot of grocery store bakeries will make wedding cakes for about 1/4 the price of a fancy bakery would charge for an equivalent cake. We spent around $100 on a chocolate wedding cake with real buttercream icing and somewhat unique decorations - you can get even cheaper options if you want. We also had the rehearsal dinner in a boxcar that had been converted to a private dining room, which was better than it may sound. Personally I'd pass up a cash bar; if I didn't feel like paying for alcoholic drinks, I'd go with coffee or punch.

One of the most memorable weddings I've ever been to was a backyard wedding. The house was on a lake and had a small dock at the back, and instead of marching down the aisle, the bride arrived in a canoe paddled by two of her friends.

Once the day's over, whatever you've picked, you're just as married no matter what you did. It's nice if your family and friends can enjoy the occasion too. But you don't need to spend a barrel of money to do that. If you throw a fun wedding, nobody's going to really care if the wedding cake came from some high dollar joint or Sam's Club, whether there was a well stocked open bar or a punch bowl, or how much the bride spent on her dress. Anybody who makes a big deal about things like that isn't worth inviting.

Chris_V wrote: . Rented the schooner Nighthawk in Baltimore's Inner Harbor, and were maried by the captain of the ship with about 25 of our frinds and family with us, partying on the boat. Much fun was had by all.

My buddy's got a sticker on his "yacht":

"All marriages performed by the Captain of this vessel are valid only for the duration of the voyage."

We got married with 100 guests, church, reception, tuxes. I looked at our wedding album once since 1978. I would do it differently but it wasn't my call really.

My son is getting married and she is having a biggie at a vinyard on Long Island. 125 or so people, $50k budget (Daddy's tab). Ian is trying to get her to downsize a bit and take the cash difference and put it toward a house.

She's been planning this since she was four years old, not gonna happen. Smile and nod.

However it happens you are no less married, no more or less commited. If I had a choice and could do it over again, it's a BBQ or clamsteam and a half on a beach.

Congrats and I hope you end up as happy as I am.

Dan

In reply to snipes:

$50 for a marriage certificate and $50 for the ceremony at the courthouse. My closest friends and family were there and I had $15-20K to spend on a house instead. Much better investment

cwh wrote: Wifey and I got hitched at the Hillsborough County Courthouse. That's Tampa. 15 friends and family were there, and it seemed like half the courthouse staff joined in. It was great, a lot of fun was had by all. The whole group went to a seafood house afterwards, and more fun was had. Not one bit of regret about doing it that way. And oh yes, Mrs. CWH had checked the costs of doing the traditional thing. I guess it was sufficient, 19 years and counting.

Wifey and I got hitched at the 54B District Courthouse. That's East Lansing. 15 friends and family were there, and it seemed like half the courthouse staff joined in. It was great, a lot of fun was had by all. The whole group went to the MSU Rose Garden afterwards, and more fun was had. We abruptly left and drove to Niagara Falls, On, Ca. Not one bit of regret about doing it that way. And oh yes, Mrs. Mofo had checked the costs of doing the traditional thing. I guess it was sufficient, 7 years and counting.

Great minds think alike.

High compliment, Sire. I thank you.

Hey Dan,

You know how they rate yacht sizes don't you? "Sleeps 6, berkeleys 12."

The last captain I sailed with told me that one.

No, we still owe him that dollar. I forgot to mention that he was also our witness.

Paul I really dig the coffee bar idea...