Anyone know the magic words...

BTW: I did this myself. I had my best friend at the time say I was making a huge mistake. I had both of my parents say I was making a big mistake.

I did it anyhow, but I learned that lesson well.

People will do what they want.....I learned if they're a close friend, its best to just ask what they see in them....pending the answer, don't take it further. People see it as prying into their lives, so don't be surprised if you tell them its a bad idea you'll lose a friend.

I've always noticed how some people actually like the abuse.....and only talk E36 M3 about it once divorced/separated.

Edit: That Brain vs. Penis .gif from the gif's thread is necessary here btw.....

Mental wrote: Totally shooting in the dark here. Tell him you are going through a rough patch and need a buddy. Take him out constantly and get him drunk and then to strip clubs. Maybe she'll get so pissed she will go apeE36M3 and scare him off.

Unfortunately he now lives an 1 hour 15 away. (she is in the same town as me). Several of us guys are going to visit for what was supposed to be a guy's weekend but she is turning up on Saturday and his exact words where, "dude there isn't any reasoning with her. I tried really hard but I can't physically stop her from driving here if she does."

93EXCivic wrote:

Mental wrote: Totally shooting in the dark here. Tell him you are going through a rough patch and need a buddy. Take him out constantly and get him drunk and then to strip clubs. Maybe she'll get so pissed she will go apeE36M3 and scare him off.

Unfortunately he now lives an 1 hour 15 away. (she is in the same town as me). Several of us guys are going to visit for what was supposed to be a guy's weekend but she is turning up on Saturday and his exact words where, "dude there isn't any reasoning with her. I tried really hard but I can't physically stop her from driving here if she does."

Yeah, but YOU can physically stop her. Let the air out of her tires.

Oh yeah, and buy tickets for everyone to go to a hockey game, or a basketball game, but not one for her. Guys weekend, and she ain't a guy. Too bad so sad.

93EXCivic wrote: To talk a friend out of getting engaged to a psycho?

four words: Devil's Threesome. With Pictures.

So long as he doesn’t have kids, he’ll pop out the other side of this in a few years a little worse for wear but with fantastic smecking memories he’ll cherish for the rest of his life.

Sounds like my first wife. Even almost made the same mistake again. Had a girlfriend before my wife that was wacky. Saw it and got away quickly when I wisened up.

Yeah, he's screwed. He'll eventually wise up but maybe not till it's too late. Hope there won't be any kids involved when that happens.

If 'there's no reasoning with her', that's a HUGE red flag. Since he acknowledges that, it says he must have SOME idea what she's like. If he chooses to forge ahead anyway, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. If you warn him, it's mostly to salve your own conscience, as in: you tried.

At least it's not one of those deals where it starts unraveling after the two are entangled with mortgages, kids etc (remarked the voice of experience).

How about, "If you marry that crazy *itch, you're a berkeleying idiot. You will regret it the rest of your life."

I've always had good luck with the direct approach.

Besides, if it doesn't work, you won't have to watch him crash and burn because he'll probably never talk to you again.

Seriously, try just telling him exactly what you think of the situation. Make one clear, concise, statement and let it go, whatever he decides. You might be a little more diplomatic than the above.

poopshovel wrote: Here are the two things I've learned in life: 1: I don't know anywhere near as much as I think I do. 2: People are going to do whatever the berkeley they want. You're buddy is berkeleyed. Sorry. Save money for a kickass divorce party, and hope they don't have kids.

When does your book come out?

There's also guys who like crazy, just like there's guys into clingy and needy, etc. Maybe he's one of them. If that's the case, there's not much way you'll be able to convince him.

My first wife was a liar and a cheater. I'm very glad she and I weren't married long enough to buy a house or have kids together. I haven't seen her in 7 years.

In the years since divorcing her, some people have said things here and there alluding to their knowledge of her being "not quite right".

I'm not upset that I wasn't told before hand, because I probably wouldn't have listened anyway.

I'm remarried to a great woman now, so it all worked out.

I do have a friend though who is engaged to a woman who seems very nice, but my wife and I get the feeling she's controlling. For whatever reason, he has both my phone number and my wife's number listed under one contact. We think it's so if my wife texts to try to schedule a dinner or something with them, he can just say he doesn't know which one of us it was. Then again, WTF do I know?

I've seen this from a few different view points.

Friend 1 was dating a girl for a couple years that I couldn't stand. She would belittle and insult people she just met, pout and argue to get her way. "What do you see in her?" I asked. Never got a straight answer. When they finally ended it he asked why didn't anyone point out what a _itch she was. Many eyes rolled as we all had!

moral: You can tell'em, but they don't listen.

Friend 2 got married after a short engagement. I straight up asked him if he was sure about it, they had only dated a year or so. He didn't say anything about it until 3 years later after they divorced. "Yeah, you were right. Wish I had thought about it more." She took him to the cleaners big time. Lost the house and everything.

moral: You know he won't listen to you about stopping the marriage, so PUSH THE PRENUP!

Good luck.

I had a girl friend(BatSh*Crazy1) back in high school that was a totally berkeleyed up situation. My sister hated her and let me know it. I ignored my sister and continued on(and off) with BSC1 until things finally blew up completely.

5(painfully single)years later I ended up meeting BSC2. She was well on her way to showing me how crazy girls are great in bed. The crazy was really starting to show through, and there where 2 other young women I had a real shot with at the time, so I decided to go after the least crazy one(who is now Mrs. neon). I'm just glad I wised up before thing got real.

just out of curiosity ... does Mrs. Neon realize that she is considered the "least crazy one" ?

I’m sick of trying to give my friends relationship advice. I’ll I can do now is just ignore them and be happy it’s not my life. Someday maybe they will figure it out but I doubt it will be because of anything I’ve said for years. The funny thing is that after they fight I’ll hear a few days later that “things are better then ever!”.

wbjones wrote: just out of curiosity ... does Mrs. Neon realize that she is considered the "least crazy one" ?

Yes.

I knew my first marriage was pretty much over when I pulled a fork out of my arm.

We all have to have a pratice physco marriage. I am glad no one tried to talk me out of it. It makes the real one, that so much better.

Didn't pull a fork out of my arm, but I got stiffarmed across the chest HARD once. I am not a small guy, she's about 5'5" and that hit reminded me of the old saying about 'retard strong'. I did not know how much self control I had until that moment.

Also found a 10" old carving knife under her pillow. It wasn't one I recognized, I have no idea where it came from.