Asking a Woman Her Size

...Ring size that is.

So... how the heck do you do that without being obvious? Have my grandmother's ring, which she knows she will be getting when we get engaged. It's almost certainly too small for her and will need to be resized. I figure her coming out to visit me in Europe and travel around for a few weeks will be a great opportunity.

Any suggestions on how to go about finding out her ring size without completely letting the cat out of the bag? I don't have the option of swiping a ring from her and taking it to a jeweler, since we're currently on different continents. Since she already knows about the ring, I suppose I could just pose the question as a "Hey, I've finally got possession of the ring. When it comes time to resize it, what size should it be?"

Alternately, do I even care? We could get engaged while in Europe, and just wait until we return to the U.S. for her to get the ring (which also saves the potential concern of bringing it through customs).

Thinking about engagement will not be a surprise for her. After surviving the long-distance (and working out several of each other's concerns in the process), it's not so much a question of "if" but "when" that I'll be keeping a surprise from her.

Steal another ring from her. Duh.

Find a cheap ring in the mall that will "catch your eye." have her try one one. Because its a cheap little gift. And tahdaaaaah. You know her size. How you do that from Germany? No clue. Call her mom and ask.

PHeller wrote: Steal another ring from her. Duh.

On another continent at the moment.

PHeller wrote: Steal another ring from her. Duh.

Her rings are on a different continent than he is. Duh

Are you good enough friends with any of her friend's to ask them to help you find out?

N Sperlo wrote: Find a cheap ring in the mall that will "catch your eye." have her try one one. Because its a cheap little gift. And tahdaaaaah. You know her size. How you do that from Germany? No clue. Call her mom and ask.

This is what I did. We went to a festival and they had one of those booths with all the silver rings and we were looking at them and just had her try on a few she liked and got the size real easy. Plus an inexpensive ring to remember a great day we had.

Pay a stranger to steal a ring from her. Duh.

Do you have contact info for any of her relatives/friends?

Other than that, present her with the ring in its current size, but do some research so you'll know where you can take it to get it resized ASAP. Maybe have a stand in she simple band w/ a small stone she can wear for the few days the resize takes.

Or ask her parents. They'll want to know your plans anywho.

Mom's are really good at knowing their daughters ring size.

PHeller wrote: Pay a stranger to steal a ring from her. Duh.

Hahaha! Good :D one!

PHeller wrote: Mom's are really good at knowing their daughters ring size.

And sex life. She probably already knows more about your anatomy than you do.

The sister figured it out for me

J

I didn't. We had discussed it ahead of time. In fact, I think I called her from the store to ask what size (didn't tell her where I was). If she knows its coming, just ask her what size.

She knew I was going to propose over the Christmas holiday trip in Ireland and Italy, but didn't know when or where or how. The when/where/how was the surprise, as was the ring choice.

Proposing in Italy made for a nice story when people ask us how we got engaged. Besides, it gives you an excuse to go back to Europe in 10 years.

N Sperlo wrote: And sex life. She probably already knows more about your anatomy than you do.

I hope that doesn't come up in a conversation about ring size.

"Hi Mrs. Fiance's Mom, I was wondering if you'd know what your daughters ring size was?"

"Oh I don't know about her ring size but I know about yours giggle giggle nudge nudge"

I'll look into enlisting the help of some friends. The ones whose contact info I have, don't see her often enough that they're likely to be of use. The one who sees her often enough I don't have contact info for.

Not sure how much I want to bring her mother into this. She's kind of a busy-body (not necessarily in a bad way, just slightly tiring). Both of our mothers are kind of the last people we would want to tell just so that we can rally our own plans before giving either of them the opportunity to start making them for us.

Resizing right after giving it could be a problem. I'd probably be giving it to her while zipping around Belgium. I suppose I could do something like buy a chain for her to wear it as a necklace.

Just ask her with it at current size. It's less about the immediate fit and more about the act. Even if you can get a test ring while she is there, getting that one sized in time before you leave may be difficult.

JMHO

-Rob

Chain idea is brilliant.

JohnInKansas wrote: I didn't. We had discussed it ahead of time. In fact, I think I called her from the store to ask what size (didn't tell her where I was). If she knows its coming, just ask her what size.

Leaning towards this. We're not especially romantic flight-of-fancy type of people. Important thing is that it was my grandmother's ring. I just figure if I ask now, it will be pretty obvious that I'm thinking the trip to Europe will be the time to ask the question.

Also, it's a set with a central ring and a wedding band/protector that goes around it. Not sure what the custom is for presenting that. I presume the band comes later.

Proposing in Italy made for a nice story when people ask us how we got engaged. Besides, it gives you an excuse to go back to Europe in 10 years.

So, if I give her a ring at the Ring, does that mean she has to take a trip to Nurburg with me every 10 years?

In reply to Salanis:

That's an EXCELLENT idea. I highly approve.

Now that I think of it, Monaco isn't all that far from where we got engaged... couple hours by car or train...

It really all depends on how much of a surprise you want it to be. If you really want to surprise her and don't want to get anyone else involved, buy a cheap fake for now. Guestimate the size, you'll probably get it fairly close. Surprise her and propose to her with that. Then just tell her that you didn't want to ruin the surprise by poking around for the ring size so you just guessed, and that her "real" ring will be resized to fit perfect.

If you don't want it to be a total surprise, then just ask her. She'll obviously know why you're asking, but if you don't tell her exactly when you're asking, you still have some element of surprise.

I'm leaning towards just giving her the ring and letting her wear it on her pinky or a chain until it can be resized.

Salanis wrote: So, if I give her a ring at the Ring, does that mean she has to take a trip to Nurburg with me every 10 years?

This idea is full of win.

Salanis wrote: I'm leaning towards just giving her the ring and letting her wear it on her pinky or a chain until it can be resized.

This. Plus, remember that as soon as the ring goes on, so does the weight. But the sex stops. enjoy!

I'm sort of a DIY guy. When I proposed and she said yes, I pulled out a wax ring blank http://www.gesswein.com/p-3670-matt-wax-ring-blanks.aspx
and a mandril
http://shorinternational.com/MattLine.php
out of my pocket and sized it to fit her finger.

[She knew that I wanted to cast her wedding ring.]