Bathroom Etiquette

Joe Gearin wrote: I stopped at a truck-stop, gas station once to relieve myself. Upon finishing, I went over to the sink to wash my hands. That's when I noticed the TOTALLY NUDE guy standing next to the other sink, washing his entire body.

My freshman year of college I was in a dorm with public bathrooms. One day I'm minding my own business at 11pm or so on a friday, taking a shower (stall showers), and I hear a pack of bros come in. These guys are yelling about pubes and dick length and E36 M3. When I get out of the shower I see 4-5 naked, drunk bros standing in a circle, in the middle of what must have been an actual dick measuring contest. Luckily bro rape did not occur and I escaped with only mental wounds.

poopshovel wrote: 2. berkeleyING_MEXICANS. PLUMINGO EN LOS ESTADODOS UNIDOS IS MUY berkeleyING BUENO, NUMBTARD! You don't leave your berkeleying E36 M3ty toilet paper on the floor OR in the trash, you nasty ass motherberkeleyers! I've fired people for that E36 M3.

I agree with your opinion, but this comment is really ignorant.

First off, Mexicans aren't the only ones that do it.

Secondly, Mexican's first name is NOT berkeleying. And their last name is not Numbtard.

Thirdly, plumbing systems are not the same worldwide. There are many places where toilet paper clogs systems, so trash cans are kept nearby. When this is what you've learned as the "right way", and you've done it "right" for several hundred thousand ass wipes your entire life, it just might be that you need a little education. Have you ever tried a little OJT? Are you man enough to nicely explain to a grown man how to properly wipe his ass in your country, or do you just want to cuss them out and treat them like ignorant children on the internet? Pathetic.

and Fourth, there are places in the world that YOU would be considered a "nasty ass motherberkeleyer" for not wiping your ass with corncob. Why the heck do you want to stick your hand up your butt with a thin little piece of tissue paper, then shake hands with someone as you come out?

I don't chew you out often, Poopy, but this looks like you started tipping the bottle a little too early this evening.

How about the guys who while using the urinal they rest their forearm, and or head against the wall above said urinal. Odd if you ask me.

Oh yeah, I really hate dropping a deuce in public because it just doesn't feel right, and I hate being interrupted by the sound effects. I like a good home game.

DrBoost wrote: First off, I’d really like you to conceal your frank and beans before you come out

So was the guy going commando under his work pants? If not you shouldn't have been able to see anything. Maybe he wanted to wash his hands first, maybe he wanted to make sure his shirt was tucked in properly, who knows. I would suggest paying less attention to other people while in the restroom.

I'm seeing a lot more of guys dropping their pants and drawers completely at the urinals as well. Which when you consider the condition of the floor there, is remarkably gross.

Used to only be occassionally, and of a specific ethnicity, but it's spread and become more universal recently.

Lot less use of toilet paper for wiping as well.

Fortunately I can say that while the ladie's bathrooms aren't always "tidy", we don't have to worry 'bout no beans and franks in there. Gals still don't always hit the target though, something I still can't quite wrap my head around. You're sitting right ON the motherberkleyer, WTH?

poopshovel wrote: How the berkeley do these dudes EVER GET LAID when they can't hit a berkeleying 16? 18"? target?

I'm a sharpshooter in the bathroom but I don't think it helps my game

My beefs with public restrooms:

A) If there is no urinal put the seat up before you pee.

B) Urinal etiquette, apparently this generation doesn't have it as I have dumbass kids stand next to me when there is a row of empty stalls.

C) If the door is locked its occupied. No need to yank on the handle every 15 seconds until I'm done. You'd make me wait if the roles were reversed.

In reply to Joe Gearin: Working days has exposed me to the world homeless hygiene where I get to see a similar show. When I catch the first train to Manhattan I generally try to make it to my post before I hit the head. Early mornings the men's room at Grand Central station looks like the locker room after some kind of Homeless Olympiad.

So a row of urinals.... one dude- of course he's all the way at the end. I like to go to the one right next to him and drop my pants to my ankles and sort of moan while I pee. If I'm feeling especially alpha, I'll look directly at him and strike up a conversation.

Mazdax605 wrote: .....I really hate dropping a deuce in public.....

As a traveling salesman I sometimes have to stop - once I HAD to go and quickly stopped at a McDonald's (usually the worst) near a crappy area of Cleveland, Ohio. After I got up I noticed some white toilet bowl cleaner had gotten on the end of my hootus and I freaked out and cleaned it off figuring it would be burning later in the day from the chemicals. My wife thought that was kinda funny when I told her.

I was in a Pizza Hut a couple weekends ago, and the urinal is right next to the sink - with no divider - which is right next to the door(and also had the stall directly on the other side...which meant that if you were taking a leak & someone tried to get out of the stall, there's no way they wouldn't hit you with the door.

So the order was bathroom door -> sink -> urinal -> stall door...talk about awkward.

What about the ZZ Top/Outlaws concert at Alpine Valley in SE Wisconsin when I was 21 years old and the line was really long for the urinals/stalls and there were only 3-4 guys lined up behind each sink to pee into? I drank a lot of beer and really had to go......I promise you NOBODY was washing their hands that day.

In reply to Joe Gearin: I was just there this weekend, man that was annoying. But the bathrooms at luggage claim were attendant free.

stuart in mn wrote:

DrBoost wrote: First off, I’d really like you to conceal your frank and beans before you come out

So was the guy going commando under his work pants? If not you shouldn't have been able to see anything. Maybe he wanted to wash his hands first, maybe he wanted to make sure his shirt was tucked in properly, who knows. I would suggest paying less attention to other people while in the restroom.

I wasnt paying attention that close. But you have to admit, if a dude is walkig toward you with his pants undone, you're senses will be hightened.

I'm a sharpshooter in the bathroom but I don't think it helps my game

Best the is! Best there was! Best there ever will be!!!!!

Joe Gearin wrote: One other peeve----- Bathroom attendants. I tip waiters, bartenders, cabbies, rental car shuttle drivers, etc. I won't tip a bathroom attendant. I don't need help in there.....I've got it covered. I also don't want to make chit-chat as I leave a stall. Go away, I can handle this on my own! (Charlotte airport, I'm looking at you)

Washroom attendants are usually there to keep people from doing drugs in the washroom the tip jar is usually a way to entice someone to actually take the job.. I am surprised there was one in a airport..

Enyar wrote: Hmmmm I have another question. Pretend the office restroom is nothing like the previously mentioned restrooms and is surprisingly clean. Is it ok to brush your teeth in there? I have a backup toothbrush and tooth paste in my desk and on certain occasions, like a dawn patrol surf session before coming in the office or extreme onions during lunch... I'll brush my teeth in there. Is that weird? I've never been caught in the act and I'll go back later if someone is in there.

My opinion: Yes. I see it probably once a month where I work. I should do it, but don't.

z31maniac wrote:

fritzsch wrote: I don't understand how in a purely office environment full of engineers, there was consistently either a deuce floating in one of the stalls or pee on the seats. Seriously?

Same here, same here. Or people are too lazy to press the button when it doesn't automatically flush, leave toilet paper on the floor..........

In my building (built in the 20's), the bathroom on my end of the building is a "personal" bathroom, in that it is just one person at a time. I used to wonder why the hell nobody could hit the toilet, and why they would be peeing in the toilet anyways when there is a urinal right there! Come to find out there is always splash back on the seat from the flush. And the flush doesn't always actually flush. Now I am extremely wasteful, and clean the seat with tp before putting down more tp to sit on.

Overall though, it is usually clean unless the automatic soap dispenser goes bonkers and sprays soap all over the floor.

I think there's two other dudes that work in my office of 2000.

There's 12 men's bathrooms in the building that I'm aware of, probably more.

I can go into ANY of them at ANY time of day to drop the kids off at the pool, and I can guarantee that each and every time, one of the other two dudes will walk in 45 seconds behind me, run into the other stall, fall down onto the throne, and immediately be raped, beaten, and then ripped in half by a scary satanic demon.

At least, that's all I can assume is happening by the noises and smells that occur.

EVERY.

GODDAMN.

TIME.

As somebody with an intestinal problem.. I have probably used most of the public restrooms between boston and dc. Two of my biggest issues are the cell phone talkers and people leaving a duece in the bowl.

The latter really astounds me.. how do people manage to do that in an age of automatic flushing toilets?

And a question I have always wondered about. Why do some guys seriously fart when peeing? I have never let one rip when at the urinal, yet it seems everytime I am standing at one, there is somebody out to peel the wallpaper while taking a leak. I just do not understand it, are they really putting that much pressure behind it?

On a related note.. while I can poop anywhere.. I am very shy when taking a leak. I have a hard enough time going when there is somebody else in the room with me.. do -not- take the urinal right next to me when there are another 5 or 10 availible!

I'm with SilverFleet, let me pee in peace, please. We can chat afterward.

Kenny_McCormic wrote:

Joe Gearin wrote: I stopped at a truck-stop, gas station once to relieve myself. Upon finishing, I went over to the sink to wash my hands. That's when I noticed the TOTALLY NUDE guy standing next to the other sink, washing his entire body.

My freshman year of college I was in a dorm with public bathrooms. One day I'm minding my own business at 11pm or so on a friday, taking a shower (stall showers), and I hear a pack of bros come in. These guys are yelling about pubes and dick length and E36 M3. When I get out of the shower I see 4-5 naked, drunk bros standing in a circle, in the middle of what must have been an actual dick measuring contest. Luckily bro rape did not occur and I escaped with only mental wounds.

Thats the worst beginning to a "Dear Penthouse" letter ever!

I work in a plant full of 50+ year old men. The bathroom is called the "E36 M3house".

People have died in there and/or been taken out by ambulance. That's all I got.

mad_machine wrote: As somebody with an intestinal problem.. I have probably used most of the public restrooms between boston and dc. Two of my biggest issues are the cell phone talkers and people leaving a duece in the bowl.

The one that astounds me are the people who leave one outside the bowl. There seems to be a surprisingly large segment of the population that feels dropping a steaming pile in the vicinity of the toilet is good enough.

Javelin wrote: I've hardly ever seen that, but the guys that walk up to a urinal, flush, and then do their business and walk away is a berkeleying epidemic. You flush at the *end* you berking idiots!

I don't subscribe to the theory, but I think many people believe that peeing into the running water will reduce splash-back (just aim!)

The floors below our office were taken over by a VA medical clinic... there are now "pee mats" (they look like they have puppy pads in them) on the floor by all the urinals. They are, of course, not changed daily... the yellow stains are a bit disconcerting.