Cats Fighting

This is pretty cat-lady, but I need help. Miles (boyfriend) and his cat moved in this past summer, and our cats do NOT get along. Internet said give them time, keep them separated but let them see each other for chunks of time, yaddah yaddah. It's been months, and we keep Boots (my cat) in a separate room at night. She's a bit of an anxious kitty. They swap paws and growls under the door gap, so I tried a draft stopper rubber strip thing, but they ripped it off.

Advice? Either on getting them to love each other, or just better sealing off this door so they each have their separate space. Rehoming either cat isn't an option, we love them too much. And neither would do well in a new place. 

Re-hang the door slightly lower? 

It has a stone lip it needs to clear swinging open and closed.

While I am very much a dog person, I found myself in a similar position many years ago when my wife and I got married.  I had inherited a nice kitty from a previous relationship.  My wife had several cats, but one in particular, did not like my kitty.  They were mortal enemies right up until the end.  Both were females, if that means anything (Catfight!  Rawrrr!).   We were able to moderate for the most part.  Worst was when we went away on vacation and had the house-sitter try to keep them in separate parts of the house.

Best of luck.  I do not miss those days.  We are a happy house with one fantastic doggo now.

Are they only separated at night? Is that when most of the not-friendly interactions occur? Are they fed close or away from each other? How many litterboxes and where? Have they each claimed a space of the house where they chill? Do one or both of them need more exercise (toys, laser pointed workouts, etc.)?

Mine are also both females, it definitely makes a difference. We also have a boy and he gets along with both of them, haha. 

In reply to Katie Suddard :

Sometimes they just won't get along no matter what. May the best cat win situation. 

Watch a bunch of Cat Whisperer (Jackson Galaxy).  Seriously, there are a lot of good ideas in that show.

Common issue (from watching the show) is each cat needs their "own space".

As noted, some cats, like people, simply will never get along.  That is noted on the show a lot, but I have not seen one that that is the conclusion.

Good luck! Cats are shiny happy people.

Katie Suddard said:

It has a stone lip it needs to clear swinging open and closed.

Put a semi permanent “lip” on the sill plate for the door to close over. Sounds like y’all have it covered except at night. 

I think, other than making sure they have a happy place to poop (apparently you should always have one more litter box than you have cats) , this is something they are going to have to work out between themselves.

I have 2 female cats myself. Even now a year later they still keep to themselves and swat at each other. But they are comfortable enough to stay in the house together without issue.

But it took 8 months of keeping them in separate rooms unless they were watched. 

One thing that helped us was we bought 2 blankets just for the kitties. One for each spot they liked to sleep. Once a week we would swap the blankets. That got them used to each other's scent.

Trim a piece of wood for a sill plate for the doorway.

Hopefully noone is declawed, grew up with declawed cats, never again. It messes with them psychologically.

Females have tended to be much more problematic (experience across 10 cats through my life, no, not at once, have 3 now). You have the right things going. It takes time. Eventually you want them to see each other without access.  Start feeding each right by that door. Associates a positive experience (getting food) with the smell/sound of the other. You sound to be on the right track.  If one is overly anxious, consider talking to a vet regarding calming medications.

My daughter is home for the holiday and brought her cat, a female. 

One of our cats, a male, and her cat got into a huge fight last night.  Our other two cats were circling the fighting cats thinking about joining.

We had to lock the female into a separate room because they just could not let it go.     Cat fighting is real.

914Driver said:

Is everyone declawed? 

Don't declaw cats, seriously. That's like ripping out a human's fingernails because you can't be bothered to occasionally use a nail trimmer. Buy a bunch of scratching trees and if necessary, occasionally trim their claws.

As to Katie's problem, one of our cats goes a bit nuts from time to time and starts attacking her sister. Incidents of that have gone down since we started using Feliway diffusers, might be worth a try?

No one is declawed, I value my cats' health over my couch's health. 

I got some Feliway diffusers, they at least seem to have made Boots less anxious? We were feeding them on opposite sides of the door for a while, but we kept tripping over the dish (the door is in a hallway). 

I'll keep working at it. It's honestly good to hear that sometimes they just DON'T get along, and it's not that I'm just failing at it.

Nothing unites foes like a common enemy.   Maybe you need a dog.

Seriously - pheromones, separate but equal accommodations and good luck!

If all else fails, steel cage match...  

A little less stressed/anxious sounds about right based on our experience with Feliway diffusers.

One other tip that may or may not work that I picked up from an old Jackson Galaxy show was to brush down both of the cats with a piece of cloth like an old sock or something, and then leave said piece of fabric near the other cat's food bowl. That is supposed to help them get used to each other's scent.

Despite what a lot of people think, cats tend to be territorial and you just brought someone else into their existing territory, so there is going to be some stress or friction.

And yes, maybe checking out some episodes of 'my cat from hell' might give you some other ideas as to what could work. Just don't let the cats watch them, so they don't get any additional ideas .

How often are you engaging them in structured playtime? If you don't already own a cat wand toy definitely invest in one. Ideally you would play with them individually for 30 minutes to an hour, and although they may not be actively racing around the whole time, as long as they are stalking the prey they are still mentally engaged in the hunt and it counts as playtime. Eventually you may be able to play with them together but I would do separate play times to start. Evening play is best so you wear them out right before bedtime. Then when playtime is over, feed them. 

We brought a kitten in from outside this summer. It's been about 4 months now, he's been neutered, and yet he still wants to chase and climb all over our older female cat. I mean instantly. We have to keep them separated and if we aren't very careful when opening doors, he will run right past us and get all up in her business no matter what. (Is this where the phrase "chasing tail" came from?) We have to take turns keeping one in a room while the other roams, about 3-4 times a day.

So I don't have any great advice, lol. I guess be patient and don't give up? I'm still hopeful he'll chill out when he gets a bit older.

In reply to slowbird :

That sounds a little like a young kitten/cat being a kitten.  I think what Katie is referring to is an apparent passionate hatred of one cat for another.  The kind of hatred that causes one cat to relentlessly stalk another, day and night until opportunity knocks, at which time the nuclear option is deployed and the resulting maelstrom rends flesh and the attendant caterwauling causes corpses long buried to rise from the earth and cover the places where their ears used to be.

Did I mention I'm a dog person? 

Have you looked at something like this for the bottom of the door?

Door seal

Out cats took time, they still fight, but it’s way better. I think it took a year.

I wish you luck.  We have two cats that are siblings, and while they got along alright as kittens,  somewhere along the way, one of them decided he wanted to be an only cat.  It’s been over 10 years of having to keep them separate most of the day, and keeping a close eye on them when they both have access to most of the house.

The Feliway diffusers do seem to help the one cat a bit, but he has all sorts of issues.