Civil Marriage - What's the Easy button?

What is the quickest, easiest, NOT TACKY method for getting married?

My partner and I have been together for 17 years. I refer to her as my wife because that's the most accurate and concise description, but we're not legally married. We're finally getting married mostly for legal protections and whatnot.

We don't want a ceremony or anything. Just legal recognition.

Walk-in or Drive-thru chapels seem the easiest, but we don't want to do something tacky. We'd rather stand in front of a government office window and get a stamped piece of paper than a guy dressed like Elvis in front of a bad mural with an arch of cheap fake flowers.

Court house. Go, get papers, judge says the i do's, you go get buffet or whatever. Thats how I did it the first time. 

IME the badly dressed Elvis tends to be the cheapest and easiest way.

My wife an I used a Justice of the Peace. $50 and bring a couple witnesses (2017 pricing in Flagstaff). Happened right after "regular business hours."

We also did a JP thing but had a small ceremony with some friends and some family. 18years so far.

Mndsm said:

Court house. Go, get papers, judge says the i do's, you go get buffet or whatever. Thats how I did it the first time. 

Unfortunately Ohio is a bit weird on that. The license and the wedding are separate. They do them JOP, but it's a 1-hour window in the afternoon for walk-ins or 2 months to schedule. 

In reply to Beer Baron :

Does Ohio support self uniting/Quaker style marriages?

We went to the courthouse, asked for the Quaker license, $50 I think and they sent us on our way, just had to sign and submit it within 90 days.

So at the pig roast we had at the house, just called everybody together, signed the papers, and mailed them in on our way to the honeymoon. 

Okay... wife said she'd prefer a drive-through over a walk-in. (Don't ask me.)

I found a third option: the outfit that does drive-through stuff will schedule to meet you at the courthouse where you get the license and let you take care of everything then and there.

How close to the border of another state are you?

In reply to Noddaz :

Hours. That doesn't solve the thing of: She'd like to be able to take care of this in an afternoon.

EDIT: Looks like Ohio is no longer a common law marriage state. 

In Ohio you need someone registered with the SOS as an ordained minister to sign the certificate.  Getting registered was easy.  I don't remember the exact steps as I did it 13-14 years ago to perform a wedding for a friend and I think it was 10 bucks?.  Ive done a total of 3 weddings in Ohio for friends and am still registered with the SOS.  If you want to grab a marriage license and meet me in Toledo I will sign ya off! :)

For reference, when I did JOP, license was "separate," but in the same building. Stop by the clerk's desk, get the license, head over to the JOP. All fairly quick. 

Based on the title, I thought this thread was going to be asking how to remain civil in a marriage, lol.  Sounds like after 17 years you've got that part sorted.  Happy to report that after 14 years myself, me and the misses are keeping the peace as well - recently more than ever and it's awesome.  Anyhoo, happy civil union!  

In reply to logdog (Forum Supporter) :

I'm sure we have a friend or friend-of-friend who is ordained and could do that. That would actually be my preference, but she said she would rather do a drive-through or judge.

Scotty Con Queso said:

Based on the title, I thought this thread was going to be asking how to remain civil in a marriage, lol.  Sounds like after 17 years you've got that part sorted.  Happy to report that after 14 years myself, me and the misses are keeping the peace as well - recently more than ever and it's awesome.  Anyhoo, happy civil union!  

Nah. We're doing great. Our relationship is the strongest it's ever been.

Beer Baron said:

In reply to logdog (Forum Supporter) :

I'm sure we have a friend or friend-of-friend who is ordained and could do that. That would actually be my preference, but she said she would rather do a drive-through or judge.

You are missing the obvious answer. 

Grab the friend, head to White Castle, do the ceremony in the drive through, cater the reception with Crave Cases! Win for everybody!

Wife unit and I renewed our vows in front of a voodoo priest at a donut shop in Portland.

Had we known how much fun that was going to be, we'd have skipped the E36 M3show that was our real wedding and gone there instead.

For our real wedding, we just used a Justice of the Peace and there were no issues with the ceremony.

Beer Baron said:

In reply to logdog (Forum Supporter) :

I'm sure we have a friend or friend-of-friend who is ordained and could do that. That would actually be my preference, but she said she would rather do a drive-through or judge.

I am ordained in the Church of Dude. If I was closer I'd do it.

Me and the Mrs got off work an hour early, went to the courthouse and got married in front of the judge. At the end he said "Good Luck" with the sound of that guy from the movie Taken. It must have worked because we are still together 32 years later

Positive update on situation:

Our best mutual friend applied and got ordained online as soon as we told him about the situation. We just have to wait for all of that to get entered in the state registry and then he can officiate whenever and however we want. We are going to probate court tomorrow morning to get the license, but don't need to do any other errands.

Wife is happier with this arrangement. Having a friend officiate will be more meaningful without adding any logistical complexity. She is using this as an excuse to buy herself a white dress (from an online retailer that can be worn more generally; not a "wedding dress") that she is excited about.

I am happier with this arrangement, too. Nicer and less for me to coordinate.

If something happens and the friend can't do it let me know.  My Dad is a retired pastor and am sure would do it for beer.

In SC, any notary can do the deed. My wife does 20-30 of them a year. Anywhere from a couple standing on the beach to 300-person weddings.

Most lawyer's offices can do it as well. We got married in a lawyer's office 38 years ago. The total cost was about $20. 

Check with Ohio law. 

Beer Baron said:

Okay... wife said she'd prefer a drive-through over a walk-in. (Don't ask me.)

I found a third option: the outfit that does drive-through stuff will schedule to meet you at the courthouse where you get the license and let you take care of everything then and there.

Why did you have to give me the vision of driving up to the speaker and saying "we'll have two cheeseburgers, one large Coke, a medium Sprite, a milkshake and a marriage."  "Pull forward to window number 3, congratulations!"

Nah, they'd definitely be ordering 2 Royales with cheese