Curtis... you just found out your wife is gay.... where are you gonna go?

Land a job as maintenance man on a college campus over the winter. RV to Daytona for the 24 hour and speed weeks, stay through Spring Break. Go from there.

fasted58 wrote: Land a job as maintenance man on a college campus over the winter. Hang out at the campus bar around christmas time and be that shoulder to cry on for the lonely girl who can't make it home for x-mas

FTFY

Closest thing to a sure thing ever..

xd wrote: So let me get this straight you were boning 2 chicks at the same time one being your wife. Now your wife is leaving. Hell why be sad you clearly have skills to talk your wife into letting you live with bone another chick while married. Hell don't be sad say bye bye wife and hone your skills maybe you could get 3 chicks next time or 4. You sir have no reason to be sad.

This childish fantasy can't even compare to the amount a satisfaction one will get from really loving and honoring one woman in a proper fashion. Seeking this sort of self serving gratification will always leave you unsatisfied....

The first post of this thread should be more than enough evidence of that...

Ian F wrote: Savannah, GA

This. Except your first destination should be a good divorce lawyer's office.

TRoglodyte wrote: Ithaca NY comes to mind. Park the RV hike around and take in the scenery.

It's a hell of a place April-October. If you are in nomad mode once it warms up about mid April I would definitely recommend it. Otherwise winter sucks big time.

ronholm wrote: This childish fantasy can't even compare to the amount a satisfaction one will get from really loving and honoring one woman in a proper fashion.

....until she cuts your heart out and stomps on it. Repeatedly. Over a period of years.

[sorry. my issue, not curtis's]

Hike the AT and think for a few months? Arcata Ca is a pretty open place with good seafood. Honolulu is too, but you can't take your RV .

Sorry to hear about it dude.

Did somebody say Appalachian Trail?

In reply to Curmudgeon:

You sir owe me a keyboard. . . .

fasted58 wrote: Land a job as maintenance man on a college campus over the winter. RV to Daytona for the 24 hour and speed weeks, stay through Spring Break. Go from there.

Seems like getting a job in maintenance would be a challenge. You've either got to be an electrician, HVAC Tech, stationary engineer, or know exactly who to talk to.

I've asked about that career a few times.

JoeyM wrote:

ronholm wrote: This childish fantasy can't even compare to the amount a satisfaction one will get from really loving and honoring one woman in a proper fashion.

....until she cuts your heart out and stomps on it. Repeatedly. Over a period of years. [sorry. my issue, not curtis's]

I fought the same thing for sometime... It sucks... but luckily my wife had a strong foundation she came back to.... But my God was it hard some days... hardest thing I have ever done just showing up some days... Still is...

That doesn't change anything though... If you spend your time chasing the wrong things... It is going to be really hard for the right ones to catch you.

And when you stick by what you know deep down to be right... The reward is so great it is worth a great deal of pain.

Curtis, check in buddy!

Curmudgeon wrote: Did somebody say Appalachian Trail?

And he still got re-elected.

Javelin wrote: Curtis, check in buddy!

+1.

ronholm wrote:

JoeyM wrote:

ronholm wrote: This childish fantasy can't even compare to the amount a satisfaction one will get from really loving and honoring one woman in a proper fashion.

....until she cuts your heart out and stomps on it. Repeatedly. Over a period of years. [sorry. my issue, not curtis's]

I fought the same thing for sometime... It sucks... but luckily my wife had a strong foundation she came back to.... But my God was it hard some days... hardest thing I have ever done just showing up some days... Still is... That doesn't change anything though... If you spend your time chasing the wrong things... It is going to be really hard for the right ones to catch you. And when you stick by what you know deep down to be right... The reward is so great it is worth a great deal of pain.

“the more you suffer, the more it means you really care…right, yeah, yeah”

My first wife switched teams. At the time, I thought she was just going through a phase but nope, all these years later, she’s still bouncing from girl to girl. Whatever, thanks for wasting seven years of my life, and for the record, cheating is cheating so choke on a pube you piece of trash.

16vCorey wrote: I have no advise to give, but I'm truly sorry to hear that. If you get on the road, stop by Evansville. I'll give you a place to sleep and shower if the RV becomes uncomfortable, and although the city of Evansville is a bit on the conservative side, we do have a pretty good counter-culture scene (a lot of good live music of any genre, art galleries/shows, micro brews, gay bars, etc.).

I spent three summers there. I was at USI doing Lincoln Amphitheatre. Great town. I lived in Burdette Park.

RX Reven' wrote: “the more you suffer, the more it means you really care…right, yeah, yeah”

QFT. Tired of that E36 M3, will never do it again.

I have to say... one of the best parts of this thread is the chuckles I'm getting from the naysayers. I have been in this relationship very successfully for 20 years, so its not the "boning 2 chicks" that was the downfall.

I will admit to being less than vigilant when it came to the emotional state of me and the wife before we involved an abused third, but polyamory had nothing to do with the problems. In fact, polyamory is part of the reason why we lasted 20 years.

The rest of you.... thank you for the support. She is very scared to lose me which is not like her. She's one of those people that is pretty resolute; once she makes a decision she tends to block out other emotions, but she is reaching out to me pretty hard. The main thing is that she loves this girl BAD. We just need to figure out if its infatuation and confusion - or truth. If its truth, I'll let her go. seriously.

The main reason why we're here is because I was too giving and she was too taking. The good news is that I'm learning how to be myself and stand up for myself and my needs. It has been the hardest realization so far.... realizing that I have nothing but her - and at the same time realizing that all I should need is ME.

I LOVE this thread: The majority of it is a bunch of gun loving right wingers giving decent non-judgemental advice on good LGBT communities and being supportive of someone they care about who has lived actively for years in that community. Being a right wing non religious person this thread gives me hope.

Thank you guys. Thank you Curtis, Want to help build a CitiCar in Gainesville?

Curmudgeon wrote: Did somebody say Appalachian Trail?

Ithaca is close enough to jump on the trail and head south for Christmas. Should hit Southern soil about Feast time and see some awesome colors

curtis73 wrote: The main reason why we're here is because I was too giving and she was too taking. The good news is that I'm learning how to be myself and stand up for myself and my needs. It has been the hardest realization so far.... realizing that I have nothing but her - and at the same time realizing that all I *should* need is ME.

Take a look at the book "No More Mr Nice Guy"

Their forum is here: No More Mr Nice Guy Forum

Seriously, it sounds like you may relate to this.

Scott_H wrote: Take a look at the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" Their forum is here: No More Mr Nice Guy Forum Seriously, it sounds like you may relate to this.

Oooh... looking with interest. I don't need to be a "bad" guy, but I do need to stand up for myself.

On the legal/divorce thing.... would it help if she and I signed a mutual "won't get a lawyer unless we both agree" contract?

She and I have a very deep history of love and mutual respect. This level of emotional stress could drive us to extreme measures but I don't picture that yet.

I don't want to be overly offensive, but what should I be doing to protect myself without screwing her?

Here at U of M, getting a permanent job is a full time job. Even if you already work here. The depth of politics is mind boggling, and nothing happens very quickly.

If you aren't opposed to being a temporary employee summers are when we are looking for people. But you would be cutting grass, laboring or something like that. Then there is the nepotism to deal with.

Already working here, the best I can do for anyone is hand deliver a resume to a department head and hope that he keeps it in mind during the interview process. As far as I know most hiring is done here by committee.

PHeller wrote:

fasted58 wrote: Land a job as maintenance man on a college campus over the winter. RV to Daytona for the 24 hour and speed weeks, stay through Spring Break. Go from there.

Seems like getting a job in maintenance would be a challenge. You've either got to be an electrician, HVAC Tech, stationary engineer, or know exactly who to talk to. I've asked about that career a few times.

Hey Curtis,

I feel for you. Its not a very fun situation. It will take some time.

I do like the lawyer idea. Just talk to one even if you don't end up using him. There may be something "you" don't see, or realize, in your state of mind. It is a good time to have someone thinking for "your" best interest.

Say, Come and stay at my house in Atlanta! We can do all the dumb stuff, take in a few MMA fights, plant a garden, raise an litter of pitbull puppys, Pink Pony shows, or Coronet Club, buy Craigslist wrecks during the day and drink beer and wrench on them at night. This town is guaranteed to have your next great adventure. Let me know if I can send you a plane ticket. T