Dear (Add Recipient Here)

Dear Hyundai Sonata driver on my way home this evening,

You made yourself look like a total douchebag this evening.

You proceeded to drive 5 mph under the 45 posted limit on a two lane road. When we both turned onto a 4 lane road, I passed your slow ass.

Then you decided you didn't like that and you sped by me at probably 80mph, long enough to get to the section that turns back into 2 lanes and slow back down to 5 mph under the 55 mph limit. After you finally got tired of me tailgating you for 2 miles, you floored it again for a whole 50 yards just to slam on your brakes to make your turn.

You sir a douchebag.

Sincerely,

The guy who flipped you the bird in the -5 degree windchill.

Lol, I think I met up with this guy's wife the other day. She was driving a Pacifica on I-94.

You need a P.A. Talk to them as they douche. Tell them how you feel. Really.

Welcome to Washington! I have no idea if that's where you live but you've described WA drivers to a "T"

I love it when people do that.

I have actually driven my crappy car or my smallish pickup truck like they are not even there. If I hit them... Oh well (That is what I think).

Everytime I have behaved in this manner, they somehow get out of the way without any contact being made.

(I have issues)

When somebody does something idiotic like this AND I get teh chance to give them the finger.... I dont. I just give them a big smiley face and two big thumbs up. It PISSES most people off.

Just sayin..

Dear hair dresser guy in the leather cape with russian ballet sleeves and huge crucifix around your neck:

Ozzy's fashion sense was never his strong suit. Go change.

Dear guy in the white panel van,
Sorry I tried to merge in front of you on the four Lane with three closed due to the accident I didn't see in time to merge half a mile back. I saw your response was to honk to let me know that was your spot. Then you blocked the left lane for the next mile, so I flipped the birdy on the pass. You then followed my with your brights flashing. I'm sorry. I can't read morse code, thats why I I slowed down so my wife could show you her ability to communicate via sign language. Oh you want me to pull over so we can talk? In the area with the 3rd highest homicide rate in the United States? Sorry. I'm packing and that would be the wrong decision for me, but thanks for the offer.

P. S. If you repaired your sway bar, it wouldn't be so hard to keep up with an escort.

wvumtnbkr wrote: When somebody does something idiotic like this AND I get teh chance to give them the finger.... I dont. I just give them a big smiley face and two big thumbs up. It PISSES most people off. Just sayin..

You are so right. They are expecting the finger from you.. and you smile and wave or something friendly. It pisses them off and they do not know what to do it about it

A buddy of mine used to joke about keeping a big sign in the car that said "you're a hero!" with a bunch of hearts and smiley faces that he could hold up in appropriate instances. I dare someone to actually do it.

Ah yes, the old "Smile: They'll wonder what you're up to." trick. A favorite of mine too.

Dear Luxo-SUV,

This isn't a WRC rally stage, and that Lexus isn't a rally car. This is a heavily rutted and abused back road, complete with garbage trucks and other heavy loads. Why you feel the need to pass three and four cars at a time at 90 is beyond me.

I find almost knocking the mirror off of the D-Bags car as I go by seems to get the message across quiet well.

Play nice

wvumtnbkr wrote: I love it when people do that. I have actually driven my crappy car or my smallish pickup truck like they are not even there. If I hit them... Oh well (That is what I think). Everytime I have behaved in this manner, they somehow get out of the way without any contact being made. (I have issues) When somebody does something idiotic like this AND I get teh chance to give them the finger.... I dont. I just give them a big smiley face and two big thumbs up. It PISSES most people off. Just sayin..

When i'm driving my crappy car, i don't slow down when people cut me off or enter traffic too close to me.

Or, my personal favorite: You're sticking your nose out of the shopping mall into traffic? You think i'm going to move? The look of panic as i get close never ceases to amuse.

I blow kisses to people who irritate me in traffic, but now I want to make a Hero sign.

Dear Raleigh area driver:

I don't know where you came from, but you're in Raleigh now. I know it is difficult to understand, and I had a little bit of trouble adjusting when I moved here in 1996. What you really need to know is that nobody, and I mean nobody (not even the police) are going to use their turn signals here except people like you (and me) from other places who still haven't forgotten your're supposed to do that.

Just get used to it, because if you get mad every time it happens, you're going to give yourself a stroke within a week from the 24/7 anger you're going to feel and I laugh at you when your apoplectic road rage video clip is shown on WRAL.

Jay wrote: A buddy of mine used to joke about keeping a big sign in the car that said "you're a hero!" with a bunch of hearts and smiley faces that he could hold up in appropriate instances. I dare someone to actually do it.

Brilliant. I'll be helping a 3rd grader make Valentines this evening. There will be hearts left over.

I used to have a sign that looks like the Olympic score cards that had a 3.1 on one side and a 7.5 on the other. After witnessing a stupid maneuver in traffic I would vote on it, along with a big smile and a thumbs up.

N Sperlo wrote: Dear guy in the white panel van, Sorry I tried to merge in front of you on the four Lane with three closed due to the accident I didn't see in time to merge half a mile back. I saw your response was to honk to let me know that was *your* spot. Then you blocked the left lane for the next mile, so I flipped the birdy on the pass. You then followed my with your brights flashing. I'm sorry. I can't read morse code, thats why I I slowed down so my wife could show you her ability to communicate via sign language. Oh you want me to pull over so we can talk? In the area with the 3rd highest homicide rate in the United States? Sorry. I'm packing and that would be the wrong decision for me, but thanks for the offer. P. S. If you repaired your sway bar, it wouldn't be so hard to keep up with an escort.

Problem is at least around here people run up to the last possible moment and merge because God forbid if they have to be behind those 5-10 cars and it takes them .05 seconds longer to get home. It irritates the crap out of me and I smile and wave as I refuse to let them over. I understand the guy overreacted but he may have thought you did what you did on purpose. I see idiots do stuff all the time because they think it will get them home faster but I laugh when I end up next to them at the next light.

In reply to moparman76_69:

Oh, I do the same thing, but this wasn't that type of situation. I hit my blinker and slowed down enough to where I could have actually gotten in line further up, but wanted to not be THAT guy. Plus its hard to see the accident before emergency crews get there and its hazy.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: After you finally got tired of me tailgating you for 2 miles, you floored it again for a whole 50 yards just to slam on your brakes to make your turn.

This kinda makes you look like a jackass as well. Why tailgate?

ProDarwin wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: After you finally got tired of me tailgating you for 2 miles, you floored it again for a whole 50 yards just to slam on your brakes to make your turn.

This kinda makes you look like a jackass as well. Why tailgate?

Better gas mileage?

moparman76_69 wrote:

N Sperlo wrote: Dear guy in the white panel van, Sorry I tried to merge in front of you on the four Lane with three closed due to the accident I didn't see in time to merge half a mile back. I saw your response was to honk to let me know that was *your* spot. Then you blocked the left lane for the next mile, so I flipped the birdy on the pass. You then followed my with your brights flashing. I'm sorry. I can't read morse code, thats why I I slowed down so my wife could show you her ability to communicate via sign language. Oh you want me to pull over so we can talk? In the area with the 3rd highest homicide rate in the United States? Sorry. I'm packing and that would be the wrong decision for me, but thanks for the offer. P. S. If you repaired your sway bar, it wouldn't be so hard to keep up with an escort.

Problem is at least around here people run up to the last possible moment and merge because God forbid if they have to be behind those 5-10 cars and it takes them .05 seconds longer to get home. It irritates the crap out of me and I smile and wave as I refuse to let them over. I understand the guy overreacted but he may have thought you did what you did on purpose. I see idiots do stuff all the time because they think it will get them home faster but I laugh when I end up next to them at the next light.

It's actually better for the flow of traffic if the "zipper effect" is used at lane restrictions like that.

Unfortunately, most people don't understand this.

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote: It's actually better for the flow of traffic if the "zipper effect" is used at lane restrictions like that. Unfortunately, most people don't understand this.

Right! But since I am in a BMW, I am a jackass for not contributing to the 2 mile long line of stand still traffic in one lane. We could knock that down to 1 mile of back up, if we could all just use the zipper effect. But no! That is MY driving spot! You can't come over. :sigh:

Dear 3 series BMW driver,

you looked like a total douche trying to get the guy driving his f355 to race you. there's no way your base model 328i could have kept up anyways, we can only hope you get yourself killed doing something stupid like this before you reproduce.

kthanks, mgmt

You guys need to check this website out: http://dearblankpleaseblank.com/ (may or may not be safe for work, depending on what people have written)

Dear idiots most places I drive around town:

If I have slowed to a crawl, I'm holding up traffic, and I'm flashing my lights repeatedly, I'M TRYING TO LET YOU PULL OUT onto this busy road. Once that concept finally dawns on you, for the love of humanity, LOOK THE OTHER WAY to make sure it's still safe, after the extended length of time it took you to understand.

In reply to RossD:

Dear Saturn,
I liked it so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely, God

lmao