Dear CL car sellers

While dipping into the shark pool that is the CL cars&trucks category in order to find some winter/fun wheels, I'm amazed (as usual) at some people's interpretation of common English words:

• No, a Mk1 MR2 that jumps out of 5th gear doesn't qualify for a "running good, needs no work" description. And if you want to keep it anyway, why not remove the CL ad?
• Really good condition doesn't usually mean rust spots and paint bubbles bigger than the palm of my hand - OK, so my hands aren't that big, but those were big enough for Stevie Wonder to see without the help of a guide dog
• "Needs nothing". Actually it does. A tow truck.
• "Recent cambelt" doesn't usually mean "we changed it 106k ago"
• "Needs a little TLC" ... and the services of an exterminator

I guess I should be looking for lawnmowers instead for a little while to calm down.

Hilarious!

"I NEED TO SALE IT" or "FOR SELL"......

"Must sell - moving overseas."

(followed later by)

"trades considered."

Variations include, "lost storage", "joined the Army", and my personal favorite: "I don't want to sell this car but I need the money to pay bills." Explain to me how a trade will solve that one?

I'm guilty of one myself. I posted my Nissan truck for parts, saying "Title in hand, no games here." I then proceeded to lose the title. I ended up selling the truck for $150 less than I was asking. I was only asking $500 to begin with.

At least I know when I make mistakes and I will lower the price accordingly. The guy that bought the truck originally wanted just the motor, then the motor and trans. He made a handshake offer of $300 for the motor and trans, and he'd pull it in my driveway. He ended up with the rest of the truck for $50.

BTW, I did offer to do a lost title on the truck, with me paying every cent of the fee. He said he'd rather the $50 off the price of the truck instead.

You've gotta decipher the code. Runs good = runs on odd # of cylinders (unless it's actually a 5 cyl - then it runs on 4. Runs good also means transmission is toast. Runs good (except for the electrical gremlin preventing it from starting at all) Runs and drives = it can move under its own power - don't count on stopping or turning. New paint = look for window screen/newspaper backing for bondo. Body is in great shape = car was dredged up from bottom of salt lake. I'm selling this for a friend = I flip cars and don't actually have any friends. Needs a little tlc = electrical fire, siezed engine, bent frame. Recent anything = the last guy who owned it before this one did it.

Never raced = hahahahahaha, ya riiiiight....

"serious inquiries only" The only way I know for sure Id like it before I come look at it is if I already had one, so I guess I will find someone else who really wants to sell it.

'No lowballers" mean "Im asking way too much and im going to be rude if you offer a price similar ot the other 20 of the same car for sale, so call someone else."

"rust free" either "I wont charge any extra for it" or "the rusty parts are gone already, its free of rust, but also of metal in some areas too"

It's spelled Volkswagen, not: Voltswagen, Voltzwagon, Volkswagon, etc.

I had a good one today. I posted our 85 GTI on craigslist with pictures, price, all the important info. Today I get an email, "interested in your VW, text me". So i text him.

"got any pics", email pictures. "anything wrong with it" reiterate problems. "how much?"

I mean, do people even look at the ads or do they just blindly click away?

One of my favourites is using "no lowballers" and "make an offer" in the same sentence, in an ad that mentions anything and everything but the price the seller actually wants for the car.

Another one was "KBB value $3.8k, I'm asking $4k because I just spent about half that amount in servicing costs".

Best one I've seen was for a project 633csi: "Don't call with questions about the car."

BoxheadTim wrote: One of my favourites is using "no lowballers".....

That's what selling/buying used cars is all about......how long can he sell and how high will that buyer offer........That is one comment that cracks me up.

I like the ones that say "For sale 1995 Honda Accord, asking $3,000, but i will take $2,500...."

I liked the one I saw: "1990 E30 325is need to get out of my driveway. $3000 obo, no lowballers, serious inquires only, no title, runs, no rust. Please call xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Randy, please call between 6pm and 8pm, please no questions, selling as is."

Let's see no questions about the car, $3000obo, but no lowballs. Yeah that ad was up for 2 days.

"Must sell baby on the way!"

But trades considered for a CRX, Jeep, ATV, or Crotch-Rocket..........

how about the "i'm a single mom i need a safe reliable car that passes e check for driving my child around in i can only spend up to $300" ones

there was a 97 STS here - no title no keys must get it out of here ASAP - its like who did you steal it from?

DukeOfUndersteer wrote: Never raced = hahahahahaha, ya riiiiight....

Yea and then they go into great detail about all the mods on the car.

just found this gem - 1997 caravan

"Engine and transmission work fine. Wheels and tires in good condition. Must be towed. Engine won't start."

I think one of the things I REALLY hate about ads for cars/trucks on CL, is the pictures in ads that look like they were taken in a coal mine. You know, the photos that had to be taken by a cell phone HOURS after the sun went down.

A good "runner-up" tho is the ad that tells you how the vehicle is rare/one of a kind....but no pix at all.

I prefer to not post pictures if it's a common car. I'd rather you come and look at it. I might post one or two pics, but I won't go into picture detail in an ad.

And I'm still getting "unlisted" calls from the last time I was dumb enough to post my phone number in an ad that had ANYTHING to do with the word Honda.

I really wish that sellers would post pictures of damage in the ad if they mention it.

Damn you! I read this thread, chuckled a bit. Figured I'd go to craigslist and find a good one to post. The first ad ( link) makes me want it.

The 2nd ad was better for this thread:

"1984 D-50 Pick up. Needs minor repairs.( carb needs cleaned out, and could use valve seals) Smokes a little at start up. Also could be carb smoke not sure. Dent in drivers door, otherwise ok. For sale or trade for fishing boat. Call Willie at 256-605-3537 anytime. More pics if you want them. "

Minor repairs?

I also like it when the seller doesn't get the name of the car right. Here is an example:"

"05' Subaru Integra Wagon WRX"

"Needs washed". "Needs tuned." "Needs painted."

Is it really that hard to type to be? I mean I just did it... Sheesh.

I look on CL almost everyday and usually shake my head at something or another, but my favorite type of ad is something like:

"Car for sale, must sell by the end of the week - I'm sellng this for my sister who doesn't have a phone or computer. It's a great car.She's had it for almost a year. It does need a tune up and maybe an oil change. Good tires..."

WHAT KIND OF CAR IS THIS???

Drives me nuts....