Wife's side. Dad alive + 2 children. I married the responsible one and the other flaked and is headed to Florida with the leach she met in a casino. This has been a 8+ year nightmare.
Does anyone have suggestions on changing the will? Trust fund with responsible sister overseeing? We're beyond hurting feelings as she has burned Most all family members and were concerned about putting $150,000 into her gambling and druggie life.
All you can do is have the wife talk to her father. What happens next is up to Dad. It cost me 300 to have a will for me + mrs 84FSP done recently along with power of attorney so it isn't terribly expensive to remedy. It's also doable to setup an annuity for the other daughter that would make it marginally harder to be dumb with Dads money.
Responsible daughter knows dad will make the change. He's had it.
I spared you the "dad waving his shotgun around when leech guy got in his face one Saturday morning during an argument" story.
If I was the responsible party, there is no way I would want to be saddled with a druggie that wanted money every week or so from her trust fund.
If I was Dad, I would cut her off and supply scholarships for her children with the money.
Attempting to control her inheritance just creates legal problems for you.
Good points. Thank you.
Not really related, but I have always said that gambling is the most dangerous addiction because all the other ones will kill you.
I'm all about taking the money and 'earmarking' it. For education, healthcare, starting a business, etc - doesn't matter who (sister, or her children, or anyone else in need). I would want to make it clear to the sister that the money is not being 100% taken from her, that way she still has a chance to get it if she decides to. It might be nice to do that same thing to 'both halves' of the money - then it truly is fair for all, and will help you gauge if what you are doing is fair because you are also doing it to yourself (and educating your children might have been what you were doing with the money anyway).
Not that logic is likely to have much effect at this point, but you never know. Maybe the money sits for 5 years and then logic comes around.
First of all, make sure that your wife has POA because of geographic proximity and no other reason. It should end all reasonable questioning about why your wife is POA and SIL is not. This can be the advice of the lawyer (have FIL suggest it to the lawyer).
Secondly, make sure that all of these are your FIL's decisions--meaning that whatever happens with the estate/will, he knows to say through and through that it was his idea, his decision, his gifts.
I'd want it to be setup something like this:
Have dad put it into a trust fund that has monthly, equal distributions to all grandchildren. If grandchildren are under 22, the even distribution goes into savings bonds for them.
Assuming she doesn't have a kid, hopefully your SIL wouldn't go adopt or have a kid just to get the inheritance, and assuming you guys don't need the money, it is an easy way for you to say "we got screwed too--we didn't get anything". Paint dad as the bad guy, paint yourselves as getting nothing (because you don't care about getting anything), and set your kids off on the right foot. Having heard you talk about your kids, I'd assume they're not entitled and would know how to responsibly handle the money.
your FIL needs to set up a trust as it can't be contested in court if he is of sound mind. I would then look at having a trust set up for the SIL with a third party trustee. Your FIL can then stipulate how and when money can be released. it will not be cheap, but you do not want to be in the middle of it.
http://www.investopedia.com/articles/pf/12/set-up-a-trust-fund.asp
The beast you are looking for is an living irrevocable trust (do some google diving on this term).
From what I know trustees would be a bank(or lawyer) and one family member. money only given when certain things are met (IE; a disbursement can be made when college degree earned, tuition can be paid for, international travel if educational, etc)Trust interest would pay for money management and other things.
It can be a complicated can of worms and the irresponsible sister could make the trustees lives hell, but that is hard to totally avoid.
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