Depression

PHeller wrote: For those of you that have dealt with this personally, was it clinically diagnosed? If so, did you take medications for it? If not medication, what lifestyle or attitude changes were necessary to help with it?

No.

No.

I split up with my g/f and felt great for 6 months.

Then we got back together... Things were good for awhile but now I'm more depressed than I can imagine. Coincidence?

Over a year of remodeling a house for someone at the expense of all other wants and desires without even an occassional "thank you" or any measureable appreciation - but lots of constant complaining about how slowly it's going - wears on one's psyche after awhile.

Could it be a chemical imbalance? Maybe. I also wonder if the various influences in our lives can induce emotional responses which may affect the production of those chemicals in the brain. The reality is we don't know enough about how the human brain works to say for sure.

PHeller wrote:

JThw8 wrote: But I've also had to change my attitude to keep going, I have little tolerance for anything which takes me to a negative state so if folks dont understand my history it just comes across as Im an ass, but hey, Im still an alive ass so Im ok with it ;)

e_pie wrote: It definitely takes a change in mindset to keep from slipping back in to it. Looking back now I can't believe I let myself get as bad as I did. The biggest thing I learned is that no matter how much I want to I can't isolate myself, that just makes things worse in the long run.

For those of you that have dealt with this personally, was it clinically diagnosed? If so, did you take medications for it? If not medication, what lifestyle or attitude changes were necessary to help with it?

< clinically diagnosed. I had no stressors or "triggers" for me. I was "lifeless", I had no desire for anything, wife activities included. I was tired, wanted to sleep all the time. Dark thoughts, not of suicide, but very dark. Always angry at any and everything. Nothing was ever "good" anymore. I couldn't see myself enjoying anything anymore.

The biggest one for me was the blind rage/dragging things out way past what was needed. It was like my brain would hold onto a moment, or an incident and would not let it go. Someone cutting me off in traffic may stay in my head for 50 miles and then cut them off as they head for an exit with me yelling/gesturing/screaming at them and then even after the moment was gone it would be at the forefront of my thoughts for hours. This is the thing the meds really helped me out with the most. I'm able to shrug things off easier, sometimes even laugh at them and go on.

I've started to post here and stopped about 50 different times. I could probably write a book with all of my thoughts on it, but I just can't articulate anything right now.

I'll just say that I am not depressed (well, not anything that isn't expected--stressed from trying to find full time work, elderly relatives in poor health, being homesick), but have dealt with depression very closely. It is absolute hell.

Bobzilla wrote: This is something I want to show/point out. You need to discuss this with your doctor. There are THOUSANDS of anti-depressants ot there. Citalopram was hardest for me because I couldn't (at all, nada, zip, zilch,sorry pal not today) find "happiness" in a sexual manner. I was on several before we got me to Lexapro (IIRC?) which seems to work best. My point is.... if you are taking an anit-d and you experience side effects, talk to your doc ASAP. They can adjust and change to find what fixes your imbalance best.

I did, we tried upping the dosage first and that didn't really help. Then I got off of it before we could try any other avenues since the circumstances behind the depression had changed. Oh and I had the same "happiness" issue as well, that was hell.

I'm a low dose of Citalopram and so far I'm doing ok. It's true they affect everyone differently and it's worth shopping around.

e_pie wrote:

Bobzilla wrote: This is something I want to show/point out. You need to discuss this with your doctor. There are THOUSANDS of anti-depressants ot there. Citalopram was hardest for me because I couldn't (at all, nada, zip, zilch,sorry pal not today) find "happiness" in a sexual manner. I was on several before we got me to Lexapro (IIRC?) which seems to work best. My point is.... if you are taking an anit-d and you experience side effects, talk to your doc ASAP. They can adjust and change to find what fixes your imbalance best.

I did, we tried upping the dosage first and that didn't really help. Then I got off of it before we could try any other avenues since the circumstances behind the depression had changed. Oh and I had the same "happiness" issue as well, that was hell.

That has been my biggest obstacle. It's funny, the med that makes the depression lessen actually makes it worse at times because of the side effect! I knew the meds were working because the wife and I could actually laugh about it where before it would have just made me spiral deeper.

Depression has many forms, sometimes it can be just being in a rut, or feeling down. In these cases I've seen nothing that works better then vigorous exercise. In other cases it is every bit as clinical as cancer, M.S. or heart disease. In these cases medications can be helpful, but they can also be harmful.

In truly clinical cases there may not be anything outward causing the depression, as it is a chemical (usually hereditary) condition. It can be extremely hard to live with, or to help a friend with this condition.

In any case, keep engaged with any loved one you think is suffering. Try to get them outdoors, encourage them to seek treatment, let them know you care. The feeling of loss you experience when you know you could have done more is a horrible thing.

Struggling for a good word to say. I'll say some prayers for you and your family.

PHeller wrote:

JThw8 wrote: But I've also had to change my attitude to keep going, I have little tolerance for anything which takes me to a negative state so if folks dont understand my history it just comes across as Im an ass, but hey, Im still an alive ass so Im ok with it ;)

e_pie wrote: It definitely takes a change in mindset to keep from slipping back in to it. Looking back now I can't believe I let myself get as bad as I did. The biggest thing I learned is that no matter how much I want to I can't isolate myself, that just makes things worse in the long run.

For those of you that have dealt with this personally, was it clinically diagnosed? If so, did you take medications for it? If not medication, what lifestyle or attitude changes were necessary to help with it?

I'm going to say this because I think it's relevant, but this isn't what this thread is about, and again my condolences go out the everyone involved.
I have it, and it is a result of Multiple Sclerosis. It was clinically diagnosed, and nobody has tried harder than me to kick it and get off the meds, but EVERY time I do, I go back to being who I was before, and I can't do that anymore. I'll be on meds the rest of my life, and NOTHING I do will change that. The only thing that will is a cure for MS. Until you've felt that change when the med wears off, I don't think you can understand.
This is my point. I understand what you are saying about if you are stuck in a rut long enough, you come to believe that it's normal (at least I think that's what you are saying), but that's kind of the opposite of being in a dark place and trying to get out of it. I and many others can't "work through it". You have no idea how ridiculous that sounded to me. Almost offensive. You seem to understand the non-clinical depression, because that's the one you can work through and get off meds. Clinical depression because of a chemical imbalance in the brain is very different from that. It's not a disorder or syndrome or condition. It's a medical disease.

That was amazing Bob.

To the Suddards our thoughts are with you guys in this tough time.

bravenrace wrote:

PHeller wrote:

JThw8 wrote: But I've also had to change my attitude to keep going, I have little tolerance for anything which takes me to a negative state so if folks dont understand my history it just comes across as Im an ass, but hey, Im still an alive ass so Im ok with it ;)

e_pie wrote: It definitely takes a change in mindset to keep from slipping back in to it. Looking back now I can't believe I let myself get as bad as I did. The biggest thing I learned is that no matter how much I want to I can't isolate myself, that just makes things worse in the long run.

For those of you that have dealt with this personally, was it clinically diagnosed? If so, did you take medications for it? If not medication, what lifestyle or attitude changes were necessary to help with it?

I'm going to say this because I think it's relevant, but this isn't what this thread is about, and again my condolences go out the everyone involved. I have it, and it is a result of Multiple Sclerosis. It was clinically diagnosed, and nobody has tried harder than me to kick it and get off the meds, but EVERY time I do, I go back to being who I was before, and I can't do that anymore. I'll be on meds the rest of my life, and NOTHING I do will change that. The only thing that will is a cure for MS. Until you've felt that change when the med wears off, I don't think you can understand. This is my point. I understand what you are saying about if you are stuck in a rut long enough, you come to believe that it's normal (at least I think that's what you are saying), but that's kind of the opposite of being in a dark place and trying to get out of it. I and many others can't "work through it". You have no idea how ridiculous that sounded to me. Almost offensive. You seem to understand the non-clinical depression, because that's the one you can work through and get off meds. Clinical depression because of a chemical imbalance in the brain is very different from that. It's not a disorder or syndrome or condition. It's a medical disease.

I have to agree with everythingin this (well, besides the MS. I cannot imagine the added struggle). That feeling of coming off the meds is what I would imagine an OCD person feels like everytime they walk into a hoarders home. The feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and anxiety that comes in waves as the meds wear off is, without a doubt, the most intense feelings/non-feelings you can have. Imagine giving a E36 M3 and not giving a E36 M3 as much as possible at the same time.

I would love to be able to "work through it". I've stepped up my exercise, got into mountain biking alongwith exercise in the mornings and working on cars/house etc. But while they HELP, they do not CURE. A physical imbalance cannot be overcome with "happy thoughts, attitude adjustment and sunlight".

In reply to bravenrace:

Good luck with your MS and your depression. Nobody deserves that kind of double whammy.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Otto Maddox wrote: In reply to bravenrace: Good luck with your MS and your depression. Nobody deserves that kind of double whammy.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Bobzilla wrote: I would love to be able to "work through it". I've stepped up my exercise, got into mountain biking alongwith exercise in the mornings and working on cars/house etc. But while they HELP, they do not CURE. A physical imbalance cannot be overcome with "happy thoughts, attitude adjustment and sunlight".

Exactly. The fact is, I have nothing not to be happy about, but I still have depression. It doesn't just go away.

Mr. Rogers would say you have this neighborhood that may be a start.Could you be ,would you be,won't you be my neighbor?

bravenrace wrote: Exactly. The fact is, I have nothing not to be happy about, but I still have depression. It doesn't just go away.

And this is what I was really curious about, was those that when they sit down and think about things, they end up having a pretty good life, but for some reason they can never feel good about it.

I don't doubt that there are many that feel the same as you man, and I'm sure my cousin is the same way. She's been pretty unproductive her whole adult life because she just can't every seem to keep the same attitude, even with medications, for more than a few weeks. She's bipolar, but I imagine that depression can afflict in similar ways.

These types of discussion allow to really ask and answer hard questions. As much of a senseless debate as it can be sometimes, its these exchanges that really open some of our minds. I have a future family member (girlfriend's aunt) with MS, and she's struggled with depression, so there are definitely some links between that disease and clinical depression. I now have a better understanding what she struggles with through your reply.

TRoglodyte wrote: Mr. Rogers would say you have this neighborhood that may be a start.Could you be ,would you be,won't you be my neighbor?

Your's? No way!

Bobzilla wrote: <That feeling of coming off the meds is what I would imagine an OCD person feels like everytime they walk into a hoarders home. The feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and anxiety that comes in waves as the meds wear off is, without a doubt, the most intense feelings/non-feelings you can have. Imagine giving a E36 M3 and not giving a E36 M3 as much as possible at the same time.

I came off Effexor XR at my (soon to be ex) wife's pleading. It was a bad scene for almost a year. I should have told her to berkeley off (long ago actually). It was exactly as you describe it - just the thought of going through that again.....

I'll likely be on the E36 M3 for the rest of my life too. Beats the alternative.

I still have my moments (low dose, remember) and I'm a geeky weirdo loner for the most part, but it's a lot easier to survive medicated.