Drunken Self Control

How long/serious was your relationship prior to you moving?

Have a talk with your gf. Do you have the slightest inkling that she's strayed? Sex with German girls is really fun until they start talking in German. Then it either gets more fun or weird. German isn't a pretty language.

Being tempted doesn't make you a bad guy – it makes you human. It's how you handle temptation that decides what kind of guy you're gonna be.

I would say that what you are doing - moving to Germany sans girlfriend was a decision that had the consequence (possibly unforseen) of ending your existing relationship at least as it was defined the day before you got on the airplane.

Swiped from the "Thinking of Scott" thread. Eat dessert first.

How much longer till you get back? I'd say hang in there. You sound too close to blow it now. Try to find a distraction of some sort. (Gym? Video games?).

Granted, my view is slanted here. I very, very, rarely have a girlfriend and wouldn't want to mess it up somehow.

I'm away from my wife for four days at a time because of her job. That sucks enough for me.

Wear a calculator watch to repel the opportunities

N Sperlo wrote: I'm away from my wife for four days at a time because of her job. That sucks enough for me.

Thats a case of "heart grows fonder" (not flounder)

Long terms apart could be a difference of life goals.

My girlfriend and I went for 12 months of being really into one another, but were smart enough to realize that if we met someone who was going to be a better match that we shouldn't stand in eachothers way. We both met (and dated) some others, but they didn't stick. When the time was right I made the move and cemented my position.

What are your plans in 6 months? Move in? Get engaged? Or will you just begin to start your relationship?

Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc

Angrycorvair might have some advice. I'm not touching this one, lest I be called a DB.

Zomby Woof wrote: Angrycorvair might have some advice. I'm not touching this one, lest I be called a DB.

Never going to get old, never.

Zomby Woof wrote: Angrycorvair might have some advice. I'm not touching this one, lest I be called a DB.

IIRC AC was (is) married.

I'd just spank the monkey and get some sleep.

You know, uh, one very simple solution is to maybe think about not drinking so much?

I know, silly.

fast_eddie_72 wrote: You know, uh, one very simple solution is to maybe think about not drinking so much? I know, silly.

I'm sure the fact that he hasn't gotten laid in awhile doesn't help.

He's in Germany to learn how to make Beer.

So yes, silly.

Would your girlfriend be upset if you suddenly picked up the hobby of "studio photographer"?

To answer lots of questions:

She and I have been together for over six years. My training program ends in June. She will be coming out to visit in July for two weeks. I'll stay a couple weeks after that. Then go back to California to spend another two weeks or so with her before I leave again for an internship in Minnesota. That will last another three months (maybe a bit longer), unless I get a permanent job offer before then.

Plan is to probably get engaged at some point during that time (maybe while touring Europe), and relocate together to wherever I can get a good brewing job. I'm hoping that will be California, or possibly North Carolina where companies like Sierra Nevada, New Belgium, and Mendocino Brewing are planning to construct new breweries. Fortunately she is a computer programmer and works remotely from home, so has some flexibility to relocate, although she pretty much can't get promoted any higher unless she relocates to Des Moines. We have discussed that it will probably hold more weight for her to tell her company, "I need to move to [city] to be with my fiancee," than "I need to move to be with my boyfriend."

As for hobbies, my biggest hobby here is dancing (tango, swing, blues). Which is kind of part of the problem since I'm really good and that gets me a lot of very favorable attention from a lot of women. I'm not going to give that up since it's tons of fun, I've lost about 2 inches off my waist, and it's really nice to have some form of physical intimacy that's not cheating.

Fortunately we try to schedule our special Skype times for either right before or right after I go out dancing. Really helps keep her on my mind when temptation is otherwise at its highest, and is a great excuse to duck out from a gal who wants to "go get drinks" after dancing.

Otherwise, video games, beer, and tons of studying does pretty well to keep me occupied.

rotard wrote: Have a talk with your gf. Do you have the slightest inkling that she's strayed? Sex with German girls is really fun until they start talking in German. Then it either gets more fun or weird. German isn't a pretty language.

We have talked (have been talking). She definitely has not strayed.

I could have an interesting choice of languages here. I've got German, Russian, Polish, Italian, Spanish, and Israeli women to pick from. Turned down an offer from a Turkish Netherlander too. A woman fluent in three or four languages could be quite interesting.

In reply to jrw1621:

Oh yes. Most definitely.

Here is my advice. I have been married 6 years now and have three (soon to be four) kids, so I may be coming from the "have a lot invested" club.

You've been with your gf for a while. Obviously you two are reasonably fond of one another. I understand, girls are cute, and certain ones know how to be REALLY cute. I would counter that those are probably the ones who you would not want to get seriously involved with anyway, unless you're just talking about a quick romp in the hay, and then just deal with it, it's only an hour of fun, surely you can handle that temptation. At the other end, there's the quote: "I don't care how cute she is, someone is sick of her E36 M3". The grass is always greener and whatnot.

Consider a trip home, maybe bring your gf over for a short time if she can. You'll be fine.

After six years, if you haven't E36 M3 it's time to get off the pot.

In reply to tuna55:

I know. I will be fine. An hour of fun is not worth the potential of sabotaging the rest of my life.

Biggest thing was stress from the second battery of exams (which I finished yesterday, and precipitated the heavy drinking with a bunch of friends). Stress from that just provided to make self control harder and desire for distraction greater for a little while.

Osterkraut wrote: After six years, if you haven't E36 M3 it's time to get off the pot.

His ass cheeks have obviously already fused to the industrial seat, trapping the paper he lined it with.

Computer Programmer...which is an in demand field. Programming language doesn't change a whole lot North America to Europe. She works from home already.

You guys have been together for 6 years, that meant there was some serious planning for this excursion in Germany. Did she just recently get her job? If not, how long has she been there? Do they value her? If not, could she apply for jobs in Germany?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. If she got a job in Tansania I'd go with her in a heartbeat. Anywhere for that matter, so long as she was able to afford my job search.

Why isn't she in Germany with you?

In reply to Salanis:

Nobody will notice you in that stall...

jrw1621 wrote: Buffing the Banana Holding Your Sausage Hostage Jackin' the Beanstalk Rounding up the Tadpoles Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ Spank the Frank Applying the hand brake Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior Auditioning the finger puppets Beef-stroke-it-off Boxing the bald champ Charming the snake Checking for testicular cancer Choking Kojak Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie Straddle your paddle Taking matters into your own hands Teasing the weasel Thumping the pump Tickling the pickle etc etc

Osterkraut wrote: After six years, if you haven't E36 M3 it's time to get off the pot.

We've mostly been waiting for me to get things more settled and on track career-wise. Finishing up this program should finally solve tht.