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alex
alex UltraDork
4/19/12 2:03 p.m.

I've been in a relationship for coming up on 15 years, and never lost sleep about all the 'missed opportunities.' (That sounds a little holier-than-thou, which isn't my intent. I'm no saint, by any stretch of the definition.) It's not worth throwing away the relationship for a night of fun.

And if you're beginning to question the efficacy of the relationship, cheating is the wrong way to force your (or her) hand.

PHeller
PHeller SuperDork
4/19/12 2:08 p.m.

If your 15 years into a relationship of course you'll not regret miss opportunities, but if 6 months from now he's no longer in a relationship and also not in Germany...he may be a little pissed.

HiTempguy
HiTempguy SuperDork
4/19/12 4:10 p.m.
PHeller wrote: If your 15 years into a relationship of course you'll not regret miss opportunities, but if 6 months from now he's no longer in a relationship and also not in Germany...he may be a little pissed.

Really? Why's that?

There's a lot of thinking with the little head talk in this thread.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker UltimaDork
4/19/12 5:10 p.m.
HiTempguy wrote: There's a lot of thinking with the little head talk in this thread.

That is good because the big head is how a single guy got into this mess. The little head, some dancing, some full steins, and a couple Fräuleins will get him all sorted out. People who do not have young women lining up for them are giving him bad advice.

Salanis
Salanis PowerDork
4/19/12 5:22 p.m.
alex wrote: I've been in a relationship for coming up on 15 years, and never lost sleep about all the 'missed opportunities.' (That sounds a little holier-than-thou, which isn't my intent. I'm no saint, by any stretch of the definition.) It's not worth throwing away the relationship for a night of fun. And if you're beginning to question the efficacy of the relationship, cheating is the wrong way to force your (or her) hand.

Like I've been saying. I'm not going to cheat. Never was. Sometimes it just takes more willpower to stick to that than other times. This past week was stressful and so one of those times. It just really helped to get some outside validation to just hang in there, be strong, and things will get better.

I did question the efficacy of the relationship about a month ago. It led to the two of us having some really good talks. Even though we know it's going to work out and that we're committed to making it work, we still need to have more conversations to figure out exactly how we're going to make it work.

Salanis
Salanis PowerDork
4/19/12 5:32 p.m.
PHeller wrote: Why couldn't she work remotely from Germany?

I'm not certain. But I can imagine it causing problems with the company over legal things like exempt/non-exempt status, overtime, taxes, etc. all depend upon where the employee is living. I can imagine moving to a foreign country causing problems in that respect. Unless she is able to remain officially a resident of California and just be considered to be taking an extended working vacation or something.

Lesley
Lesley UberDork
4/19/12 5:47 p.m.
Salanis wrote:
alex wrote:
Like I've been saying. I'm not going to cheat. Never was. Sometimes it just takes more willpower to stick to that than other times. This past week was stressful and so one of those times. It just really helped to get some outside validation to just hang in there, be strong, and things will get better.

Then quit getting drunk with very available young women. I think you already know that.

Capt Slow
Capt Slow Dork
4/19/12 6:02 p.m.

I have been married for 11 years now. I have never strayed from my wife, the secret is recognizing situations in which you would have strong temptations, and going out of your way to avoid them. Small mistakes can easily snowball into big ones.

Salanis
Salanis PowerDork
4/20/12 4:30 a.m.
Lesley wrote: Then quit getting drunk with very available young women. I think you already know that.

Yep. Know and will do.

I should probably clarify that I was not getting drunk with very available young women. I was getting drunk with classmates and then my flatmates (one is young and female, but not particularly available... and messing around with a flatmate is a line I would never cross ). I was more drunkenly whining about temptation in general. The thread title probably didn't convey that well, because, you know, I was rather drunk.

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
4/20/12 11:15 a.m.

roll the dice, brother. tell the stateside girlie that the emotional strain is affecting your learning, and break up with her. bang the stuffing out of these hot euro-betties, then come home and try to rekindle the old flame. if it works, you da man! and if not, you still da man for banging all those hot euro-betties.

*ninja-edit after reading the whole thread: ZW, sorry i was late. spent all day yesterday packing up my office for a move, then spent all evening driving to milwaukee for the chumpcar race at road america this weekend. it's nice to know people are thinking of me, even a 90+% DB like you.

MG Bryan
MG Bryan SuperDork
4/20/12 11:19 a.m.
AngryCorvair wrote: roll the dice, brother. tell the stateside girlie that the emotional strain is affecting your learning, and break up with her. bang the stuffing out of these hot euro-betties, then come home and try to rekindle the old flame. if it works, you da man! and if not, you still da man for banging all those hot euro-betties.

I'm sure there's even a way to use the internet to turn this into a for-profit venture.

jhaas
jhaas Reader
4/21/12 12:55 a.m.
AngryCorvair wrote: roll the dice, brother. tell the stateside girlie that the emotional strain is affecting your learning, and break up with her. bang the stuffing out of these hot euro-betties, then come home and try to rekindle the old flame. if it works, you da man! and if not, you still da man for banging all those hot euro-betties.

DITTO

wlkelley3
wlkelley3 Dork
4/21/12 9:07 p.m.

Well, at least you haven't woke up with vague recollection of the night before or wonder where you are and who's the girl beside you.
No one has stated the old saying of "what happens in Vegas stays stays in Vegas"?
jk...................maybe.

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon MegaDork
4/21/12 9:22 p.m.

Didn't happen when I was hooked up with anyone, but yes there were a couple of mornings where my first thought was 'that's not my ceiling' followed by 'who is this?'.

Zomby Woof
Zomby Woof UltraDork
4/21/12 9:44 p.m.

In reply to AngryCorvair:

I knew you'd come through. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Wally
Wally GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
4/21/12 11:36 p.m.
wlkelley3 wrote: Well, at least you haven't woke up with vague recollection of the night before or wonder where you are and who's the girl beside you. No one has stated the old saying of "what happens in Vegas stays stays in Vegas"? jk...................maybe.

Because I believe the saying in Germany is "What happens in Germany has been filed in our records forever". They seem to have a real love of documentation on the History channel

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