Facebook rant

Ok, just a little rant/opinions wanted. FB is a great tool, share information, catch up with friends, its all good.

But there are some limits. Once again today we find out about a death in the family by a FB post instead of a phone call. It seems no matter how often we tell our family members that this (to us) is an inappropriate way to convey such news they think that its so quick and convienient. My wife is on the verge of dropping all her family members from her contacts, I don't blame her.

So Im I off base here? Im the last guy in the world who likes to pick up a phone. I'd rather email, text, FB, whatever. But there are just certain things which still need a little more of a personal touch.

Or maybe Im just getting old.

Maybe I'm getting old, too, but I'd agree with you that a phone call would have been the preferred way to get that sort of information.

Your complaint isn't with Facebook. It's with a person.

IMHO that is very inappropriate, as an ex cop the only way to notify a person with any compassion is face to face

I share your....frustration? My family (most, if not all) is apparently on FB (I am not) and all family news is conveyed via FB. Move? Put it on FB and "everyone" will get it. Change 'phone numbers? FB. I have 4 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 nephews and 3 nieces...and I'm only sure where 2 sisters and 1 brother are and only have a phone number for 1 of the 2 sisters and the 1 brother. This year, I received a Christmas card in the middle of SEPTEMBER. It wasn't early, but nearly 9 months late. Why? If these folks don't want to communicate even by e-mail (I have only 1 or 2 e-mail addresses for all my relatives) or phone...why should I bother calling them when I move (2 years ago)?

On a related note, I used to get family photos of events I was unable to attend (I am the only relative WAAAY out of state). But now, all photos of family events are uploaded to websites and the family member that took the photos and uploaded them then informs everyone else, VIA FB, where to view the photos. At least in my case, the technology that should be bringing folks together....is making them seem more like strangers.

FB is a good tool. But its not universal. Something just require a personal touch & others are just to private to post.

Unfortunately I've gotten news like that as well via fb. My uncle posted that he was home and the new pacemaker is working well.

really?

integraguy wrote: At least in my case, the technology that should be bringing folks together....is making them seem more like strangers.

Well, ummm, no. It's bringing everybody else together. It's just that for some reason you've decided not to join in. So, really, in the end it is your decision not to be brought together.

I'm not saying it is a bad or stupid decision - I'm just saying that it is not the technology/venue that is creating the problem; it is your choice not to use it that is leaving you behind.

That being said, yes, it is tacky to post a death announcement via Facebook.

Duke, I disagree...obviously. Am I "closer" to someone when we are in a chatroom or when we are actually talking to each other on the 'phone so I can hear also hear how they really feel about something? Am I closer to someone when they send a mimeographed "holiday newsletter" (boy, I dated myself there) or when they take the time to write a PERSONAL message?

Sorry, but in my opinion, getting "family news" via a posting on FB is akin to reading it in a tabloid. Both versions have the potential to deliver "personal news" to millions....and is it then really personal?

Keith wrote: Your complaint isn't with Facebook. It's with a person.

Facebook IS people.

bravenrace wrote:

Keith wrote: Your complaint isn't with Facebook. It's with a person.

Facebook IS people.

So what are people who don't do FB?

FB isn't people, unless they are willing to have thier lives defined as such. Which I find shocking that they are.

I was a part of facebook when it first started and was just for colleges.

Then it started to become what it is now, and i left. I can't count how many "dead" phone numbers i have for my friends because they couldn't be bothered to even send a text (which i HATE anyways) saying "hey, this is ym new number."

I ran into a buddy last month that was a little miffed that i hadn't talked to him in months. I informed him that i no longer had his number.

"Well, i posted it on FB."

That's great. I don't care. I'm not on there. You have no right to be miffed in the slightest because i chose not to partake in a fake internet social life. (Says the hypocrite who refers to people on this forum as his friends.) But you get the point.

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote: That's great. I don't care. I'm not on there. You have no right to be miffed in the slightest because i chose not to partake in a fake internet social life. (Says the hypocrite who refers to people on this forum as his friends.) But you get the point.

uh, BIG difference, my friend.

I honestly think that there is nobody here that is expecting you to put any meaningful information or updates about yourself here. If you want to for whatever reason- you can. But there is zero expectation here that we know anything more than you want us think that you are a car person (the reason you are here).

IMHO, posting on boards is not even close to FB, so you are NOT a hypocrite.

Eric

Yeah, overall I dont mind FB. As others have said, without it there are family members I wouldnt hear from at all. But some things should be personal.

I've had it out with my sister on this topic multiple times. My grandfather passed away this summer and I was at a friends working on the roll cage for the Wartburg. My wife saw it posted on FB and had to scramble to call me before I saw it there first (why she thought Id be checking FB while working on a car is a different question but I appreciate her effort)

As I said, Im as guilty as the next person, I dont like to make phone calls. But the de-personalization of society is a bit disturbing.

Another case in point. We have been fostering my wifes cousin's dog since November while he looked for a new apartment. Our deal was he had till the end of the year. Monday she gets a group text saying "as of Feb 18th my new address will be....." She replied "I guess this is your way of asking if we'll watch your dog for 2 more months?"

Bah...people....this is why I like my dog.

I also was on it for a brief period but canceled, closed and deleted it after a bit because - honestly - I don't really care to be that easy to index. The most notable differences....

Ex-girlfriends don't drop by looking to rekindle something that was better in memory than reality now that their 2nd husband isn't that exciting anymore.

Old buds who I lost touch with on purpose don't stalk me when I ignore them any-longer.

No embarrassing photos from my awkward youth are floating around search engines where my boss can find them because my idiot friends cannot link them to anything.

No hot Polynesian chicks with 4999 all-male friends randomly ask to befriend me.

I don't have 6 million spam emails to delete each day.

My friends and family actually have to engage me to communicate.

I'm not really missing it (probably because the ex-girlfriends didn't hold up all that well over time ;) )

At the very core...Sorry for your loss of the family member.

I too am not on the book of all the faces. People keep trying to suck me in and I keep resisting. I expect that by this summer I will get sucked in.

alfadriver wrote:

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote: That's great. I don't care. I'm not on there. You have no right to be miffed in the slightest because i chose not to partake in a fake internet social life. (Says the hypocrite who refers to people on this forum as his friends.) But you get the point.

uh, BIG difference, my friend. I honestly think that there is nobody here that is expecting you to put any meaningful information or updates about yourself here. If you want to for whatever reason- you can. But there is zero expectation here that we know anything more than you want us think that you are a car person (the reason you are here). IMHO, posting on boards is not even close to FB, so you are NOT a hypocrite. Eric

True, there's more "interaction" here than the "I just got a smoothie and it was good i think i'll listen to Lady Gaga then go out to dinner and then i don't know what it'll be awesome and cool and you should all holla at my digits hit me up!"

VOMIT.

I guess the forums are more about the knowledge and conversation than the individual. Valid point, glad i'm not a hypocrite.

This pretty much sums up my feelings

As with any new technology, I think everybody's still trying to get a handle on how to best use FB appropriately. Well, some of us are trying more than others.

I've only been on for a few years, and although it's a really useful tool for many things (small business and band promotion come to mind, not to mention organizing actual social events in meatspace, which can certainly be like herding cats sometimes), it's highly inappropriate for others. Death notices and breakups come quickly to mind.

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of misgivings about FB and many of its practices, and there have been days with my finger hovering over the Delete Account button. But at this point it's so ubiquitous among my social circles that I almost feel like I need to take the bad with the good in order to stay in the loop.

I like Facebook. I can keep in touch with the people I like at my convenience. And I can ignore the time wasters. Facebook has been a time saver for me.

I am on the book of many faces. It makes it easier for me to keep up with people who I would likely not keep up with otherwise.

Sorry for your loss.

I agree that some things should be handled "privately" by family. This kind of stuff used to be filtered down by Grandparent's>Parents>you/sibling's. Now, it pretty much bypasses the chain of respect.

I didn't make my FB to interact with my extended family, more for networking and personal interests.

It drives my wife nuts when I inform her of some family news from her side and she didn't know.She refuses to use Facebook, but I treat that as the same as saying I'm not going to use a phone, or email. I've learned to tell my sons not to post some thing I've told them until people have been phoned, especially their grandparents who have no internet,or cell phones. FB has it's uses, but distributing sensitive news isn't one of them.

alfadriver wrote:

bravenrace wrote:

Keith wrote: Your complaint isn't with Facebook. It's with a person.

Facebook IS people.

So what are people who don't do FB? FB isn't people, unless they are willing to have thier lives defined as such. Which I find shocking that they are.

Psst, I didn't mean that literally. But facebook would be nothing without people. Get it? Now if I did mean it literally, it would mean that people who don't do FB would still be people. That should be obvious.

I know my sister is on FB, and possibly my brother. We don't have anything in common, really, so we haven't "Friended" each other. My mom couldn't be bothered with it.