Funeral

I'm about to head to Miami for a funeral for the most evil man I have ever known. Unfortunately, he was the father of my wife's 3 grandchildren. Had 4 wives, beat all of them. Physically and verbally abused all of his 8 children. Two hours after his passing, his sister was at his house taking whatever she wanted, including his car. This is not where I want to spend time, but it's for the grands. We are expecting 911 calls at the funeral home. Arrgghh. Film at 11:00.

Just remember that you can't spell Funeral without Fun.

Wow man, if you were anywhere not on the opposite end of the country, i'd do what I could to spring you from that hell. Good luck.

...is your friend.

FWIW, I've found that kids aren't real big on funerals. I know I wasn't. So maybe play that card with the wife...or fake an injury. But seriously, I'm not a big fan of bringing kids to funerals.

Sounds like a crazy situation. Beer always helps me when Im in a similar snare. keep your cool and continue to tell yourself how much better the world is without him, and how now hes in a place where he will be appreciated for the guy he was (hell that is).

Datsun1500 wrote: Just go to the casket and say "I win" to him and walk away. You're breathing, he's not.

better yet, do this entire quote with a crooked mouth............

"So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

pete240z wrote:

Datsun1500 wrote: Just go to the casket and say "I win" to him and walk away. You're breathing, he's not.

better yet, do this entire quote with a crooked mouth............ "So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Gotta be Bill Murray's character in "Caddyshack" ?

You are correct sir!

Sometimes ya gotta be places where ya don't wanna be.

Do it for the kids.

some one just had to say it.. didn't they.?

cwh wrote: I'm about to head to Miami for a funeral for the most evil man I have ever known. Unfortunately, he was the father of my wife's 3 grandchildren. Had 4 wives, beat all of them. Physically and verbally abused all of his 8 children. Two hours after his passing, his sister was at his house taking whatever she wanted, including his car. This is not where I want to spend time, but it's for the grands. We are expecting 911 calls at the funeral home. Arrgghh. Film at 11:00.

What sent him to his "Great Reward" ? (sounds like it was long overdue... )

Just try and get through it. It seems like the worse they are in life, the worse their funerals are.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Just remember that you can't spell Funeral without Fun.

:) 'round here we put th fun in funeral and the bitch in obituary!

Joey

While still married to wife #4, he had a huge fight with the current GF. Major heart attack and a stroke. DOA at the hospital. Funeral was devoid of any major drama. I never went into the viewing area. I have said for years that I would piss on his grave, but he cheated me out of even that pleasure by being cremated. 52YO.

sounds like the world is better off now

cwh wrote: While still married to wife #4, he had a huge fight with the current GF. Major heart attack and a stroke. DOA at the hospital. Funeral was devoid of any major drama. I never went into the viewing area. I have said for years that I would piss on his grave, but he cheated me out of even that pleasure by being cremated. 52YO.

Jar opening gives you something to aim for. Then you can piss right on him! Seriously though sometimes we gotta do stuff we don't really like. And I'm sure someone was happy you were there.

cwh wrote: While still married to wife #4, he had a huge fight with the current GF. Major heart attack and a stroke. DOA at the hospital. Funeral was devoid of any major drama. I never went into the viewing area. I have said for years that I would piss on his grave, but he cheated me out of even that pleasure by being cremated. 52YO.

Kharma occasionally works.

Now focus on the good stuff about the wife, grands, etc.

cwh wrote: I have said for years that I would piss on his grave, but he cheated me out of even that pleasure by being cremated. 52YO.

So maybe he did win in some small way.

I'm Irish Catholic with a funeral home in the family. Funerals are for the living.

Go. Be polite, be mature.

That's what will be remembered.

Dan

cwh wrote: I'm about to head to Miami for a funeral for the most evil man I have ever known. Unfortunately, he was the father of my wife's 3 grandchildren. Had 4 wives, beat all of them. Physically and verbally abused all of his 8 children. Two hours after his passing, his sister was at his house taking whatever she wanted, including his car. This is not where I want to spend time, but it's for the grands. We are expecting 911 calls at the funeral home. Arrgghh. Film at 11:00.

I'm such a spiteful person that I just wouldn't be able to give this guy the respect of attending his funeral.

Sounds like a real clusterberkeley is going to ensue.

gamby wrote: I'm such a spiteful person that I just wouldn't be able to give this guy the respect of attending his funeral.

You aren't going to the funeral for the person who is dead. They're dead. They don't care. You're going for everybody else involved.

I only went to take the wife who wanted to be there because of her grandchildren. Two of them were at our house when the news came down. Youngest, 15yo girl, went insane for a while, but later calmed down. The other two took it well. They had not lived with him for 5 years. Considering that they are 17 and 20 now, that says something. I would have considered it the epitome of hipocrasy to go in and say nice about him.