Funny CL personals post

I don't know if this is legit or not, but it's funny regardless!

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST. I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. It was not cold, but I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you left your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I didn't want your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explained your situation. I bought myself and four other people in the gas station a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the driver side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I got in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number). I'd like to apologize for not killing you, and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I hope you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. - Alex P.S. Remember this motto...an armed society is a polite society

If it's fake, it's still great!

Hmmm...might be real, I can see that happening.

Funny, but if it were real this guy would himself be prosecuted for armed robbery for taking the original perp's wallet and phone.

I knew a SEAL. Retired. He had a Claymore on his desk. A real one, and not the sword. The story went (told to me by our common boss at the time) that he was driving his truck along "a road along the Texas coast region" and stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker pulls a knife on him and demands his money. Now, pulling a knife on a SEAL isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. He leaned over toward the hitchhiker while reaching into his boot and pulling a gun out, pointed it at the hitchhiker and said "No, now you give me your money." He took the shiny happy person's money and knife and left him on the side of the road.

I've seen a variation of that that didn't have the threatening calls to the DA and FBI, and at the end offered to buy the guy a box of detergent, with the understanding that he'd buy the guy a new pair of pants, but he figured the guy would've washed 'em by now, so he was offering to at least pay for cleaning 'em.