Getting help

I thought I may have been able to help with a connection for you, but no dice.  A very close friend of mine's dad practiced psychology in the city for many years, but he moved to Virginia Beach.  That would be a long trip for an office visit...

We are thinking of you!

In reply to paranoid_android (Forum Supporter) :

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A wise person once told me, life isn't about not getting knocked down, it's about how you get up off of the mat. 

Again I commend you for having the strength to reach out for a hand to help you up off of the mat. You're in my thoughts man. 

The BetterHelp app may be the way to go during these quarantined times. They match you with a counselor based on your needs and preferences, and you can message them any time and schedule video chats once a week.

Not quite as in-depth as seeing someone in an office, but it can help.

This is extremely relevant. There are some serious issues I need to punch. I just have to wait until my (inexplicably) dropped insurance kicks back in. No way I can afford out of pocket. Until then,  just stuff it down like usual.

I have nothing useful to add other than to say, there are a lot of people in this world and on this forum that love you like a brother. Always remember that.

     Well said. 

bluej said:

You'll be starting a new relationship. Sometimes that takes time to find the right fit. The good news is that if it's not feeling like the right fit, you're not going to hurt the feelings of any of the (usually wonderful) people trying to help. Start now to get the wheels turning, and I bet just making the first few steps to start will feel really good (like starting this thread). Thanks for trusting us to bring your question here 

I echo this.  Big step.  You're among friends.

Big generalizations here, but a counselor/thearapist is where you'll probably start.  They are the ones you see in comics with a client laying on the couch talking about his problems to a guy with a beard and a pipe.  That caricature is supposed to invoke Freud who was a Psychiatrist, but Psychiatrists don't really counsel these days.  They can be one of many education levels, but to be able to call yourself licensed, it requires a Master's degree and some pretty significant residency and internship requirements.  A psychologist is often a PhD, and they work more on the clinical side.  For example, a clinical study like a sleep trial, or a drug trial for an antidepressant might be overseen by a psychologist.  A Psychiatrist is an MD, and more focused on the medical/chemical relationships of the brain and how they pertain to manifestations of mental or emotional health.  

In the world of counselor/therapist, there are many degrees they might have, and the truth is it doesn't really matter.  Any licensed therapist can accept insurance if they choose.  Broad generalizations though;  A social worker (LSW) is a degree that leans toward public services; probation officer, unemployment counseling, helping disabled people through things like life skills.  An LSW degree is a humanities degree and includes things like basic accounting.  A licensed clinical practitioner (LCP) or an LMFT (marriage and family) or other licensing is often an arts degree.  There are also differences in those titles depending on how states license.  I'm pursuing a Masters in Clinical Counseling to become a therapist.  The title sounds a bit more clinical, but I wanted a degree with the science behind what makes brains tick, as opposed to a life coach.  All of the above Master's degrees, though, kinda mean nothing in the real world.  You are looking for someone that speaks your language, (metaphorically... I don't mean someone who speaks English) who is licensed to treat you, and who helps you.  If that happens to be an LSW who you get along with, or an LMFT that jives with you, so be it.  Being a counselor is 10% degree and licensing, and 90% the personality of the therapist.

Appleseed said:

This is extremely relevant. There are some serious issues I need to punch. I just have to wait until my (inexplicably) dropped insurance kicks back in. No way I can afford out of pocket. Until then,  just stuff it down like usual.

Look around. We have many low/no cost options for mental health available around us. 
 

Appleseed said:

This is extremely relevant. There are some serious issues I need to punch. I just have to wait until my (inexplicably) dropped insurance kicks back in. No way I can afford out of pocket. Until then,  just stuff it down like usual.

So I can't officially practice out of state, so this is as a friend not a professional...

If you or anyone else in GRM is feeling like they need help I am happy to talk with you. No charge, no strings. I think that talking to someone and getting a little help is better than not getting any help at all in these times, especially because of monetary issues. If anything I can send some resources your way for self-help that is better than stuffing it down until you crack.

Checking in to see how you're doing bud. I'm not confident in how this whole thing is gonna shake out, but am ready to share a drink, a word and to shed a year and hopefully a smile as well come October, God willing that things manage to work themselves out. 

The zoomchats that John and Mike have done have been welcome distractions and returns to normalcy, or what it was, I recommend joining them. They seem to be trending naturally less and less about cars, while still rarely going into covid and what we're each dealing with, beyond checking in on how we're doing. They're refreshing and I'm thankful for them. 

If you need a shoulder we're still here. 

When the first wife and I started going through counseling the councilor said something that has resonated with me over the years. He said that he wasn't there to fix all our problems for us, instead he was there with his thorough education and plenty of years of experience to help us find and use the best possible tools, for us, to help us fix what we needed fixed. 

For me that made all the difference in the world, that I was seeing someone who's whole career was about finding and implementing tools in the best possible ways. In the car analagy, I was busting my knuckles trying to do what I thought I needed to do with the tools I had and how was I to know that there was a specific sequence and custom tools needed? Of course I needed to talk to the experts, and of course some might have better tools than others.

In my mind that all resonated to take away some of my mental stigma and help me open myself to the experience. It also left me with the feeling that the earlier you start the less scars you're going to get and the easier it is going to be to implement easier tools. 

Sorry I'm late to the party but I'll echo what Marjorie said.

My mom was a hardass ER nurse in one of the biggest trauma centers in our province. Death and illness was talked about very frankly in our house but mental health was only addressed in a "get your E36 M3 together" sort of manner.

I watched my mom fight cancer for 20 years and for the last 10 years, had moved her into my basement suite to keep an eye on her and take care of her when needed. The last four years were hell.

When she passed away, I figured I didn't need any help, I knew the score and just needed to move forward and get my E36 M3 together.

Turns out my "getting my E36 M3 together" involved a nice spiral of self-destructive behaviour which resulted in me nearly destroying my life and marriage. After three years of lying to myself, I saw what a deep, dark hole I had dug and decided that I needed help to get out.

I got counciling, my wife saw something in me worth fighting for and I've been feeling much better lately. A return to a Zen Buddhist practice that I had put aside a long time ago has helped me a lot too.

We're all here for you Wally.

For what it's worth, lots of times your goofy sense of humour on this forum gave me a good laugh when I really needed it.

Thank You everyone, I'm doing ok right now, mostly tired since we're short handed so my schedule is all over the place.  We have a couple guys hopefully coming off quarantine this week so I'll be getting a long weekend to try and catch up on some sleep and settle my mind a bit. It sounds odd but since a bunch of us are going through similar things we've been helping each other as much as we can until things settle down. 

My experience has been that they’re just like every other profession, a lot suck, some are brilliant. Don’t be afraid to shop for a while.